BLUE | ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴ ✔

14 | Exists

Taehyung was sitting by the sea. He hadn't seen Seokjin for four days and was really hoping to see him today.

He looked at the waves. In the past, Taehyung used to just sit there feeling nothing. But now, he was feeling the liveliness of the waves, and the air around him. He felt happy and smiled.

Taehyung felt someone walking towards him, he smiled as soon as he realized that it was Seokjin. Usually, Seokjin would come thirty or forty minutes after Taehyung but today, he came thirty minutes early.

Seokjin had brought some blue flowers today. But instead of keeping them down beside them, he gave them to Taehyung. "Take this as an apology for not coming to meet you for four days"

Taehyung took them and smiled. "They are beautiful. Thanks!"

"Not more than you", Seokjin stated. Taehyung was flustered, not knowing how to reply to that.

"I've something to tell you!", Taehyung said after a few seconds.

"What?"

"My college is starting tomorrow. They accepted me. It was hard to believe at first. Maybe it was because of my sister. Her record was really good, she was a bright student", Taehyung said with a smile and at the same time feeling proud of his sister.

"I'm really happy to hear that", Seokjin smiled widely and Taehyung felt captivated.

"Have you lost someone close?", Taehyung asked out of nowhere.

"Yes, a few people. I lost my dog three days ago.", Seokjin replied without much hint of sadness.

"How can you not be sad then? You just lost him!", Taehyung looked at Seokjin, confused.

"Yes, I was sad, the first day. But not after that. This may make no sense to you but death is just like a process in life, just like puberty. You grow up, become an adult, you grow old, then death happens. It can be hard to explain but maybe you'll get it.

And why should I be sad when the dog is still here?"

"What do mean? You said you lost it?", Taehyung was surprised.

"No, to be real. I never really lost him."

"How? I don't understand," Taehyung said.

"It can be a bit disturbing to imagine this," Seokjin continued as Taehyung was still looking at him, intently. "Imagine a person X just fell from a cliff. His body is now broken as he lay on the ground. As days pass by, different insects rodents, birds, and worms feed on the decomposing body that he had once imagined to be X. Time skip- seasons changed, and the remains of the body began to dissolve into the soil, enriching it. And then it was winter and the snow served X's bones for a moment. But as the seasons went by, even the bones became dust. Then from the nourishment of X's remains, flowers and trees grew in that small piece of grassland. But after a year, even that grassland disappeared.

Then where was X?" Seokjin asked Taehyung who was listening to the whole thing intently.

"X had become the part of the birds, he had become the part of the insects and worms that fed on him in the cycle of life and death. He was like their ancestors but ultimately they too were returned to earth" Taehyung said, surprising himself with the answer.

"Yes. And what about the identity- X ?", Seokjin questioned.

"The identity X had gone, it was gone forever. But his Consciousness remained unchanged, through all those years, it observed all", Taehyung replied feeling satisfied as he was getting it.

"Right. All of X's separate parts would continue forever. Forever changing, Forever new. So you really can't be sad about death forever. Also, you shouldn't fear death.

Do you remember, the last time that you saw your sister?", Seokjin put his hand on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Yes. She smiled at me", Taehyung recalled that moment. This time he was sad, but not extremely sad. He tried to look at it from a different perspective.

"She definitely knew how to enjoy life. She must've tried to live fully all those years. Also, another lesson from her- Death is not sad. The sad thing is that most people don't live at all. I hope you take it."

"I will. Surely. When I've two great people in my life, that I never expected, how can I not take those lessons from them? But I'm still new. I think that it is going to take a long time for me to truly learn to apply it," Taehyung looked at the sand.

"We aren't great, no one is great. People are just different versions of themselves.

You may be new to it. But you're doing really good, Taehyung. You're curious, hopeful, and have a desire to change. You're seeking the right questions, the right answers. You are willing to change. And that's a lot. I believe in you", Seokjin assured.

Taehyung smiled.

They sat in silence for a few minutes looking at the sea.

Taehyung took the flowers in his hand. "You know...Blue...Blue was my sister's favorite color", he said looking at them.

"That's nice. Blue is my favorite color, too.", Seokjin replied.

"Really?", Taehyung asked.

"Yes. For me, it has so many meanings. It could be a symbol of depression and the depths of the human psyche but at the same time, it stands for profound insight, trust, comfort and serenity. It represents the healing nature of water and the power of stormy seas.

What about you?", Seokjin asked.

"It is Purple. Purple is the last color of the rainbow. For me, it means that I will trust and love you for a long time", Taehyung replied.

"That's a beautiful thought. And are you saying the last sentence for me?", Seokjin asked.

"No. It was general", Taehyung replied, quickly.

He tried to look into Seokjin's eyes for more than a few seconds. He wasn't able to do it till now. He couldn't. Every time he tried, his heart got unsteady and he felt anxious.

Seokjin looked at Taehyung, challenging him to keep eye contact but Taehyung looked away and stared at the ground. Seokjin chuckled.

"Look at me", he said as he held Taehyung's hand. Taehyung looked up, into Seokjin's eyes.

"Focus on what you feel," he said. Taehyung tried to be aware, at that moment. He was anxious but could still feel an unusual sense of comfort and it eventually made his heart calm. Surprisingly, he was able to hold the gaze this time and it felt magical, to look at each other.

Seokjin released Taehyung's hand. "Did you realize how things are different when you are out of your mind and in your senses? You could feel so much more.

When you'll really learn it you won't even need to hold hands or touch anyone or anything to feel the kind of energy that it radiates. Because once you learn to be fully aware of your surroundings, you will feel everything that you would have otherwise missed out on in life", Seokjin replied.

"So, holding hands was just for the sake of the lesson?", Taehyung asked with an empty stare.

"Maybe yes. Or, were you- ", Seokjin asked.

"Definitely. I mean I'll definitely use that lesson," Taehyung smiled and shook his head.