BLUE | ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴ ✔

16 | Anxious

After they left the cafe, Seokjin wished Taehyung good luck for college.

"I'm really looking forward to it. But I'm still stressed about it", Taehyung said.

Seokjin didn't respond, he kept walking till they reached small gas station a few meters ahead.

"Hey Ji Hoon!", Seokjin enthusiastically shook hands with the only person that was present, "Mind if I take care of the next one?", he said to Ji Hoon. Taehyung realized that Ji Hoon was one of Seokjin's friends, from the way they were talking.

Ji Hoon looked at him, confused. Then he shook his head as if he got it, "Always trying to trouble my poor customers, huh?", Ji-Hoon said and went to sit on the bench as he left it for Seokjin to handle.

They could see a car coming towards the station bearing a formally dressed older couple who sat at the front seat like statues. "Come with me", Seokjin said to Taehyung. Seokjin removed his jacket and undid the first few buttons of his shirt. He walked up to the driver's seat of the car and smiled at the shocked pair. "Hey! What can I do for you? Some Gasoline to fuel your spirits? Or how about a new battery to charge your life a little more?". The expression that the older couple had was funny and if that wasn't enough, Seokjin winked at them, openly as he still stood at the same place, smiling. After a second, the car lurched forward and sped away from the station.

Ji-Hoon got up and walked over to Seokjin as both of them were laughing.

"Why did you do that?", Taehyung asked when they left the station and were walking on the sidewalk.

"You saw how that man and a woman resisted what was happening to them because they thought that it was strange?

They were controlled by their values and fears. They still haven't learned to cope with spontaneity. I could've made them laugh or made their day better for a moment, but they chose their fear and doubt.

Taehyung, when you resist what happens, your mind begins to race. The thoughts that torture you are actually created by you. Stressful thoughts reflect a conflict with reality. Stress happens when your mind resists what is. It starts creating its own scenarios. When you understand the source of those thoughts you will realize that most of them have nothing to do with you and you will learn to let them go. You will be free of the world's turbulence once you learn to stop taking your thoughts so seriously", Seokjin said.

"So all of that was for a lesson?", Taehyung asked.

"Yes, did it make it easier for you to understand? I know it won't be easy, but you'll have to work on it. But once you do, it will seem effortless"

"Thanks! I'll remember it and work on it"

Taehyung had no idea how much Seokjin liked to spend time with him.

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Seokjin wished Taehyung good luck for college once again before he left. He also told Taehyung that he would be busy for a month and would not be able to talk with him for a while and that he could text Seokjin only if there was some kind of urgency. Not randomly. Taehyung was surprised and a bit sad hearing that. But he agreed to it. He told him that he would not forget about their talks and would really focus on improving, being happy and aware.

The next morning, he woke up feeling a bit anxious. It was going to be his first day in college after a long time.

Before leaving, he ate well, enjoying the meal.

When he entered the campus, it was familiar but he still felt a bit anxious. A few of them greeted him with a smile and he smiled back. At some point, he was relaxed, not completely, but it was better than he had expected it to be. He knew it would take time.

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As days passed by he was able to see some small improvements. It was as if he was living a completely different life from before. He was having his meals properly, his sleep was getting a bit better. He tried to enjoy the things that he did.

Because of the college stuff, including the studies and assignments, he used to have less time than before. At times, he used to go to the sea. He didn't see Seokjin there. Maybe he was busy too, Taehyung thought.

It had been about three weeks since Taehyung and Seokjin last met. Taehyung thought about texting him but he remembered what Seokjin told him. He even went to RJ cafe a few times, but each time he went there, Seokjin wasn't there.

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Days went by and at times his life seemed a bit stable and at times it didn't. There were times when he felt sad or as if he was starting to get depressed but he had learned to get out of it. He wasn't fully healed, but he had changed a lot.

The other day, his crush, Hyun Woo had asked him out for a date and he agreed. In fact, he liked him too and was going to ask him out sooner or later; but Hyun Woo asked him out first. And Taehyung was happy and anxious at the same time. He had been in a few relationships before but they were long ago and short-lived. He was anxious but he liked Hyun Woo, so he wanted it to turn out good.

The two weeks were going to be busy, he would be having exams. And his next day was busy too. But he still wanted to meet Seokjin. He didn't know if it was for getting some sort of advice or to get rid of his anxiousness about the next day's date but he knew that he had to meet him.

After thinking for a while, he decided to text Seokjin. It wasn't any sort of urgency but he wanted to try and see if Seokjin would reply.

Hi Seokjin! I was thinking if we could meet tomorrow. I really want to talk to you. It's important.

Finally, he texted Seokjin but wasn't able to tell him about his date. He thought that maybe he could tell him when they meet.

After five minutes, Seokjin texted back

Ok. Meet me at the park near your college, at 5:30.

Taehyung was in a helpless situation. He thought about whether to tell Seokjin that he had a date at 6 pm. But Seokjin already agreed to meet and that was much more than he expected. He couldn't risk telling Seokjin to change the timing; also, he wasn't able to tell him about his date.

In the end, Taehyung decided to go meet Seokjin at 5:30, he knew that he would get less time to get ready for his date but maybe going a few minutes late was better than being anxious throughout the date.