Tarzan & G.I. Jane (Complete)

Part 5

MAY DAY! MAY DAY!...AHHHHHHHH

I wake from my nightmare with a jolt. I am confused. Where am I? I open my eyes and remember where I am but I'm surprised to find Tarzan still in bed with me. He is no longer laying next to me but under me. He looks down at me and runs a hand down my hair, like he's petting an animal, trying to soothe me. My heart is still racing from my dream and now the knowledge that I'm laying on his bare chest. I move off of him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

I roll back over onto my side. I feel his arms wrap around me and he pulls me back against his chest. With the tears from my dream on the brim of my eyelids I relax into the embrace. I didn't realize how much I was missing some sort of physical contact. A tear or two escape before I close my eyes and fall back to sleep. 

To my dismay Tarzan is gone when I wake up. I lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling. I think about last night. I groan....what am I doing? What am I doing here? I can't stay here! I mean using "the bathroom" outside is one thing but what about in a week or so when I start bleeding? I might be strong enough to go without a few things in life but I draw the line at these types of things. 

I need to find the airplane. If I'm lucky it will still have working GPS and communications. Lucky being the key word. I sit up and look around. I've only been here a few days and I already know I will miss this little place. That's when it hits me. I have already made my decision; I am going back.

When I see the fresh fruit Tarzan must have brought in this morning my heart aches. How am I going to leave him? What do I tell him? Would he help me locate the plane? It is the question I can't bring myself to ask that gives me the most anxiety...would he come with me?

I try to picture it and I can't. I cannot envision Tarzan walking around the base, playing video games with the guys, and well to be honest wearing clothes. They would exam him and interrogate him. The fact that he doesn't speak would only make them ask more questions. I couldn't ask him to go through all that. 

I throw myself back on the bed and sigh. What am I thinking...I don't even know where to start to look for the plane. It could take days to get to it and that's if I knew which direction to head in. Tarzan seems to know the jungle well. I will ask him. It's that or I just head out and take my chance on finding it. 

I get up and grab some food. As I eat I walk outside and look out at the jungle. It doesn't seem so bad. I have to laugh at myself because as I think about it, Tarzan appears out of the jungle and scares me to death. 

He smiles at me. He gestures for me to follow him. I look at him a little confused. He just smiles, walks over to me, and grabs my hand. We come to a path I have never noticed before. Just like the one leading to the water this is a well worn path. He seems to be excited for me to see what he has to show me. There is a light to his crystal blue eyes and a full smile on his face. The look on his face makes my heart ache and I can't help but smile back. 

The view in front of me isn't as picturesque as the water hole but it is amazing. Rows of fruits and vegetables are laid out before me. I read about this garden in the journal but I would have never thought it would be like this. I can see the pride all over Tarzan's face. I walk through the aisles. There are tomatoes and corn alongside the exotic fruits and nuts he has been bringing for us to eat. 

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His mother had started this garden while his father built the house and worked on crafting the furniture. Besides reading, this garden was one of the few things she was able to enjoy during her pregnancy. It would seem Tarzan has taken great care of it since…

This makes me wonder again what happened to his parents. I really want to know before I leave and forever question it.

"Wow, is this the garden your mother planted?"

Tarzan's face shows so many emotions. I feel like he is amazed I already knew. There's also sadness in his eyes probably thinking of his mother. 

"You must miss her...what happened to her?"

It's like a light shut off. The bright and happy man standing in front of me was shadowed in sadness. He gently grabs my hand and starts walking. I am trying not to think about the new intimacy of holding his hand as I follow him. 

My heart is breaking as we make it to the back of the garden and I see two grave markers. I knew this was the most obvious outcome of their absence but it didn't take away from the pain of seeing it. One reads Rebecca Howards the other Kristopher Howards.

"What happened?"

After reading her journal and living in the home he literally built with his own two hands I feel like I know this couple. I knew deep down they were probably dead, why else would Tarzan be alone, but this makes my chest ache and tears pool at my eyelids.

I am brought back from my thoughts as Tarzan squeezes my hand. I smile, our connection is warm. He once again wipes a tear from my cheek. I just stand there staring up at him. Both of us lost in each other's gaze. I can feel my heart beating faster and my breathing becomes shallow. He leans in closer. My entire body is on fire. I need him to touch me. 

My breath hitches as he embrasses me. To anyone else it would look like a simple hug but for me it feels like so much more. He lays his head on the top of mine and I swear he inhales my very essences. I press my face into his chest and take in his masculent, earthy scent. I will never forget this smell. At least that's what I tell myself when I remind myself I had to leave. 

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Instead of staying inside I want to spend as much time outside before I leave. I have decided to head out tomorrow. The longer I am gone the harder it will be to find my way back. And I know I am getting too attached to the amazing man who has saved me. I don't know how to tell him and the thought makes me want to start crying again. 

I am sitting on the large rock looking at the water when I feel his presence. It still amazes me how quiet he is, I rarely hear his footsteps ever. He crouches down and sits next to me. I listen to the waterfall and I close my eyes as I feel the heat radiate off of him. I don't have to open my eyes to know he is staring at me. 

When I glance his direction I find him taking in the entire image of me like he is burning it into his memory. From my bare legs to my unkempt frizzy hair. God what I would do from some hair products and a sexy swimsuit at a moment like this. 

I want to lean over and touch him. To mold our bodies together in an embrace. But I can't! I am leaving tomorrow. I can't make it any harder than it already will be. I guess no time is better than the present to tell him. 

"I'm leaving."

I think to say he is speechless would be accurate even though he never speaks. I feel like I can read him pretty well and I think he is confused and a little...I don't know. 

"I have been missing for days now. I'm sure they have been looking for me. And as amazing as this place is I can't stay here."

As I ramble on he stands and quickly disappears. Well there goes asking him to help me. Deflated from the highs and lows of the day I decide to head back to the house, figure out a game plane, and get some sleep. 

The house feels empty without Tarzan. I have gotten used to him being here with me the past couple of nights. I try not to think about his absence and instead make a plan. So I knew relatively where we were in the air before hell broke loose and that we were heading west. I also know base is located west of the jungle...like I could make it that far. Thanks to the rising and setting sun I know which way to head. I should be excited about going home. So why did it hurt so much just thinking about it?

I lay down and try to fall to sleep. It doesn't come easy thanks to the empty void next to me in bed. I roll up into myself and let out a sob or two before falling into the blackness.