first book in the Evelyn Black series
• • sequal: BACK TO LOVE
[ i promise the second book is better lol ]
• slow slow-burn (like years) friends to lovers •
• soft burn romance •
[ all books listed in prologue via chronological order ]
"As ador...
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"You what?" Eleanor bursts.
Jasmine almost chuckles through her expletive, "Fucking hell, Evelyn!"
"It just happened okay?" Evelyn leans back onto her hands. "We were making out and I knew something was going to happen, I just wasn't sure until he was asking if we could—"
"Please tell me he didn't say 'shag'," Jasmine groans. "That's so unromantic if you ask someone, 'oi, you wanna shag?'"
"Who said it was romantic?" Evelyn questions. "It's not like we're dating or anything..."
She says it like she's making excuses for him when she's really trying to make some for herself, how horribly she feels about the whole thing. Eleanor and Jasmine give one another a concerning glance before returning their attention to Evelyn.
"So... he asked to 'shag'," Jasmine says bluntly.
Evelyn's eyes roll automatically at her friend's tone. "No. He asked if I would be uncomfortable having sex, given what happened last week, and I told him 'no, I'm okay with it' and then it just... happened." She feels her own voice drop as the explanation goes on, her chest heavy. "It was okay..."
"Okay?" Eleanor presses.
Thinking back on it makes Evelyn almost cringe; and, as much as she tries to hide it, her facial expression scrunches in subtle disgust and discomfort and her friends can already tell it wasn't going to be a pretty story.
"It was alright," she repeats. "You know, as first times go... having it in a space alone wasn't horrible." Given she wasnt sure if she's wanted to be there in the first place, this was a lie. The act itself she didn't find to be bad, but the lack of connection (mentally and physically), the lack of physical love and intimacy was indeed upsetting and causing a... subpar experience; she never thought it would go that far with Cedric— hell, she didn't think their mess-around business would last more than a month considering she felt the already dimmed 'spark' fade a few weeks in— and so the whole thing felt a little... empty.
"Evelyn, you seem upset," Nell points out, tone suddenly soft with concern.
Looking down at the grass, she picks out a clover and sets it down on her lap. She shrugs, "I just regret it a bit, is all."
"Ev, if you didn't want to have sex with him, then why did you?" Jasmine asks softly. "And why didn't we hear about this yesterday?"
Again, she shrugs. "Dunno... in the moment I guess I thought I did, I thought it would be a good choice... and I was a little drained yesterday."
"Evelyn, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Jasmine tells her.
Nell's quick to jump in, "no! No, of course not. I know it wasn't ideal, but first time always sucks."
