Theo- enough

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The moment the meeting way over I ra to the hills wanting to get as far away as possible, but I only made it out by the trucks. My skin was hot as I felt the anger finally come to the surface. I hated being who I was, I was never an equal to Alex and I never had a chance at that. I knew I didn't, but I can't understand why it hurts so much.

"You alright?" I froze at the voice, it sent shivers and warmth through my body at the same time.

"I'm fine" I lied not wanting to get into the discussion about what happened at the meeting.

"Theo you're my best friend I know you better than anyone, so I know when something is bothering you" his voice was soft and I felt it as if he whispered it in my ear, the tingles were overwhelming and I hate the way my body was reacting to him being near me. I couldn't control anything not even me own feelings.

"You wouldn't understand " I said and it was true, even one that wasn't born in a high Statius was treated different. Even though I was a beta I was too treated like nothing.

"Try and explaining it" he was too goo of a person always caring for other people and that's why I hated him, because I couldn't him.

"I don't want to talk Alex" I said simply knowing he doesn't understand thing unless you put it out there for him to understand. He always thought logically and ever let his feelings show and it made it hard to relate to.

"Theo just-" but he wasn't letting it go and I couldn't take it. I had a short switch and if you pulled too hard I break.

"NO YOU LISTEN HERE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ALPHA AND YOU GETR EVEYTHING BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US HUH. YOU THE PRESSIOUS PRINCE AND THE REST OF US ARE DIRT MEANT TO SERVE YOU TILL THE DAY WE DIE." I knew my face was red with the anger I was feeling, I knew I shouldn't take it out on him, but I couldn't hold it any longer.

"I -I " he looked hurt and I felt bad knowing I was the one that made him feel this way.

"NOTHING TO SAY HUH . . . at least you the option to speak your mind unlike the rest of us" it hurt telling him the truth, but I couldn't hide it anymore. The pack is full of omegas, hunters and betas but there are only a handful of alphas and to be honest no one wants to eb around the them. The rules place them the top of the food chain making all of us less then what we are, it's not fair. I know what your think but you're a beta, his best friend and your right I am but there is something you don't know about me. me and Alex are friends because he's not the only outcast, I'm a half breed and they are considered undesirable. My mother was an omega and she was amazing, she was always full of energy and anyone in the same room fell in love with her. Even my dad, they weren't mates but it didn't stop him from loving her any less, but she died . . . about six years ago. I was used to it being called a half breed but when she left it hurt more than I can explain. I remember when kids called me that for the first time I came home crying. When I told her she simply just smiled and said you have two half's of two amazing people forget what the other kids say you are double what they are. 

"Theo" I turned and looked at him the guilt weighing on me, I couldn't control myself as I hugged him. My body felt like it was on fire and by the sound of his shaky breath I knew he felt it too. I looked up at him and it was like time slowed and all that mattered was him, my life , my reason it was all for him. He gulped before leaning towards me and I found myself leaning in too.

I remember who started it first but the moment we touched it was like fireworks. I couldn't keep my hand from him as I let them roam his body feeling every curve. I wanted to breath him in and inhale every part of him till we were one.

"wait – wait" he said as I tried kissing his lips again wanting the feeling back. It was like a poison that I wanted to drink my fill of, not caring about the after effect I just wanted to keep feeling what I had right now.

" we have to talk about –" he didn't have to finish it I knew what he was talking about, us. It was the first time I kissed a boy, it didn't feel weird like I thought it was going to, it felt cold the idea of kissing anyone else. I didn't want to think about it too much, I just wanted to get lost in it. I wanted to forget where I was, who I was. In the moment our lips met it felt perfect and I didn't want anything else but him. Him. It left a odd taste on my tongue, I'm kissing a boy.  But one kiss wasn't enough, I didn't want to turn my back and leave but then it registered that I'm making out with my best friend since birth.

My head kept telling me to stop, but my heart tugged me closer and it was like I was being torn in half. But all i could think was I didn't want to let the tingling on my lips or the fuzziness from my brain fade so I grabbed his collar pulling him down to me catching his lips again.

"tomorrow. If you stop now I'll kill you" I said, and he looked me in the eye, he knew what I was asking but after a long stare he gave in taking my lips again claiming me as his.  


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(time skip) 



I turned over and looked at him sleeping, his face looked softer younger, he looked more peaceful. I wonder if what I was doing was a mistake but as I looked around at the dark hotel room I knew it was just right. The fact that I even met my mate was enough for me, I didn't need the whole mate life style, I would settle for the small moments. It will be enough.

I began to stare, and I knew I wanted to see his smile more than anything. but I knew the truth I couldn't be the one he wanted. If we were strangers maybe it would have been different, maybe we'd meet in a coffee shop bumping into each other and go on with our day. Then we'd both keep going back hoping the other would be there waiting, maybe i could have been someone he liked. He's my best friend even if I wanted it I could never have it, no matter how much I wanted it. Boy I want it though.

"hello" he said his voice all raspy and I felt my legs shake and tension started to build. I hid the blush that wanted to cover my pale cheeks as he sat up. I never wanted to look at him before but now I couldn't seem to stop my eyes from wondering over his large back.

"I got to head out" he said trying not to make it awkward, but I think we are beyond that now.

I watched him pick up his things that I threw on the floor the night before. He had a meeting with his father in a few hours, he had to leave soon if he wanted to be on time and he was always big on time. He didn't look at me and I knew it was because he didn't want to leave, and I didn't want him to. I wanted to be around him for hours, forever.

NO NO NO, I couldn't risk to start thinking like that, I couldn't fall for him I wouldn't let myself. If I fell there would be no going back, I had to be the strong one I always was. He was the alpha and he had a stronger pull to his mate but as his beta I'm supposed to help him make the right choices. I couldn't keep him, he was to marry a girl, have a family. And I was always meant to be behind him never beside him. But I can live with that, I'll still have him in my life and that would be enough.

when the door closed I realized that we never had the talk we planed on having, we are not on the same page and now im freaking out. i did the math and i knew i couldn't be with him, i have to tell him  .  .  .  .  I'll tell him later. 


auhtors note: twice in one day yaaa me :) enjoy 

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