Deja Vu

Chapter 14

Although I have almost a whole day until I need to go negotiate Oikawa's release, I wake up in a panic, thinking that I have overslept.

I urgently reach over to grab my phone, then notice that the time is only 7:28 AM. I've only been sleeping for three or four hours, and there is still plenty of time before I need to be at the docks.

"You awake already?" Kuroo calls out to me. It's a silly question because it's quite obvious that I am in fact awake, but his greeting makes the morning more present. He's sitting across the room, looking at something on his phone.

"Yeah," I say, combing through my hair with my fingers, "It's hard to sleep when I'm as nervous as I am." Kuroo nods in understanding, then tosses me a set of clothes.

"I had Akashi run to your apartment this morning to grab some clothes and a toothbrush." Kuroo says. "I'm sure you aren't in the mood, but you really should take care of yourself a bit." Kuroo suggests.

"Thanks." I reply simply, ignoring Kuroo's request that I take a shower. I don't want to go back to the apartment, and I can't imagine there is much of a shower in the warehouse. I start to walk away, then realize that it's probably weird that Akashi went to my apartment.

"How did Akashi get into my apartment?" I ask Kuroo. Kuroo laughs to himself, then looks up from his phone.

"By walking in." He answers. "We all have keys to your place in case of an emergency." He elaborates. I must really trust them if I gave them keys to my home.

I walk out of the curtain room and quickly am overwhelmed with chatter. Nobody is talking to me, but everyone is talking. It seems that someone has made breakfast, because several people are walking around with scrambled eggs on white paper plates.

I smell coffee, but not the nice kind from Starbucks or anything, it's the instant coffee pods from Walmart, I'm sure of it. I stand for a moment, just taking it all in.

"Hajime! Do you want an omelet? Scrambled eggs? Some toast?" asks Yamaguchi. He is standing by a small propane powered stove with a plastic spatula in his hand and a paper cut out chef hat that Bo probably made for him.

"No, I'm actually don't really feel like eating." I say, declining his offer. Yamaguchi makes a buzzer sound, then places his hands on his hips.

"Wrong answer. I know you're stressed, but you have to eat." He says, cracking a few eggs into a Styrofoam bowl and whisking them with a fork. I start to wave my hands to indicate that I don't want any, but Yams cuts me off.

"You made me eat, now I'm going to return the favor." He insists, sliding a piece of bread into a toaster.

I look to Kuroo for an explanation for what Yamaguchi just said, and he mouths, "Yams used to have an eating disorder." to me. I nod in understanding, then turn my attention to the toaster.

I look to Kuroo for an explanation for what Yamaguchi just said, and he mouths, "Yams used to have an eating disorder." to me. I nod in understanding, then turn my attention to the toaster.

Once my food is ready, Kuroo and Yamaguchi sit down with me while I eat. The two of them chat while I eat, which helps to keep my mind off of the day ahead of me. I don't know if it is intentional, but I am thankful for the distraction.

The remainder of the day goes by surprisingly quickly, and before I know it, it's midnight. There are exactly two hours until I need to be at the docks to negotiate Oikawa's rescue.

Although I don't really have anything to compare their behavior to, I get a feeling that everyone was a little bit nicer to me than they would usually be. Kuroo must have told them about our quick fight last night because people seem to be less anxious about my physical well-being.

The sun has set hours ago, and the fluorescent lights have turned out so that anyone who wants to can sleep, although I doubt anyone will be able to sleep well tonight. Kuroo and I have been playing a game of Euchre with Bokuto and Akashi, but the change in lighting acts as a reminder of the event that is set to occur in just two hours.

"Alright, that's ten!" Akashi says excitedly. I have hardly been paying attention, but sure enough, Bokuto and Akashi have won their tenth point. "Looks like we win, pay up!" Akashi continues.

Kuroo and Akashi had bet twenty dollars that they would be first to ten points. Kuroo reluctantly pulls a crumpled twenty dollar bill out of his wallet and places it into Akashi's pale hands.

"Should we play another round?" Bokuto asks. Akashi looks eager to do so, and I'm sure Kuroo wants to win his money back, but I can hardly focus on some card game right now.

"Sorry, but I'm out. I've got to get ready to meet up at the docks." I explain. Akashi checks his watch and frowns.

"You've still got two hours!" He cries. Kuroo lightly slaps his wrist and shushes him. "Besides, what preparation will you do?" He continues, ignoring Kuroo's shush.

"Well, he can put on a bulletproof vest or something. And we can go over fighting tactics once more." Kuroo says.

"It's no use." I mutter. The boys turn their attention to me and I continue. "I'm going to be way outnumbered, if they want me dead, I'll die regardless of our preparations." I explain.

"That's an optimistic way of looking at it." Bokuto says sarcastically. Akashi nods in agreement, and the two of them stand up from the table.

"Are you sure? You aren't going to even try to protect yourself?" Kuroo asks me. His expression reads a combination of sadness and disappointment.

"It would be laughable if I did. Imagine it: I pull up to the docks and immediately, fifty guys have their guns fixed on my head. If any one of them shoots, I'm dead. A bulletproof vest wouldn't do any good." I reply.

"I suppose you're right, but if they didn't know you were wearing it, they might aim for your heart, not your head." Kuroo says optimistically.

"There's no point." I say dismissively. "Like I said, if they want me dead, I'll be dead." Kuroo looks surprised about how laid-back about this I am. If he would really think about it, it would make sense.

I've already gone over the worst-case scenario in my head a million times. A scenario in which they kill me, then kill Oikawa, breaking our agreement. In my mind, any result that isn't that is okay, because it's not as bad as it could have been.

Besides, I don't have nearly as much to live for now that I can't remember my relations to anybody. There's hardly any reason to visit my parents, I don't even know their names. I won't get to remember what our childhood was like with old friends, because I don't know myself.

I won't be able to grow old with the man that I supposedly have been in love with since high school, because unless we miraculously both make it out of tonight alive, we won't even grow old. I just need to make sure that if someone dies, it's me, not Oikawa.

I check my phone for the time, which is about half past midnight. If I remember the navigation correctly, it should take me about forty-five minutes to drive to the docks. In case there happens to be traffic, or I get the route wrong, I should probably allow for up to fifteen minutes of extra time. That leaves me with about half an hour left.

"Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second?" I call into the warehouse. Everyone slowly gathers around me in a circle. "I'm going to head out soon, and I just wanted to say that for the few days I remember knowing you for, you all seem like great people, and I'm glad I know you. In case I don't come back, I'm leaving Daichi in charge." I say.

"Awe, Boss, don't talk like that. You're coming back. You won't die. You can't die." Kuroo says. I know he's trying to comfort me, but the tears welling up in his eyes show how little confidence he has in the words he speaks.

"Yeah, what he said. We'll see you back here around four. You and Oikawa both!" Bokuto says with enthusiasm. It seems that being optimistic to the point where he fools himself into believing it's the truth is Bokuto's coping meconium in this given situation.

"Yeah," I say softly. "Yeah, I'll see you at four." I say, this time in a more confident voice. Although it's all a show, the confidence does feel good. Even if I'm just fooling myself, I clench onto the small chance that Oikawa and I both come back here in about three hours like a lifeline.