Zanvis || Colors

64

[ s e x y s a r c a s m ]
{trigger: sexual activity, talk of self harm}

Travis was not playing it off very well. He was all red and stiff like. Garroth kept giving me glances and i played it off not making a face back at him. Neptune was meowing the entire time we tried eating. Honestly any excuse to step away from the table was okay with me. Anything could be said that would give us away. 
"Zane did you not feed her?" Mom asked sounding confused.
"No i did before we sat down." I got up only slightly annoyed. Having any young pet was like having a baby around. "Oh my gosh she ate it all already." I started laughing and gave her some more.
"My goodness, someone is hungry." My mom said laughing as well. We continued to eat supper mostly silent because there wasn't much to talk about.
When we were finished eating and done filling the dishwasher for mom, we went back up to my room to chill out. I sat down on my bed starting another movie. Demon came out the second he passed the door frame.
"Oh hi again, whats up?"
"You always think i want something. Can i not just stretch my legs?" He gave attitude.
"I suppose you can but you usually want something when you come out and give me that look." I explained ignoring him on purpose.
"Whatever. You know we aren't done yet."
That caught my attention, "what do you mean.?"
"Our little game. I said i was going to nail you and i am."
"While everyone is here?" I got flustered. He nodded biting his lip, showing his white fangs. I knew Demon hated when i acted big and bad so i quickly went stone faced and raised my eyebrows quickly, turning back to the tv. "Fine. Whatever you think. And don't say it that way, it makes it sound disgusting."
"Are you testing me, Zane RoMeave?" He said sternly.
"Do you want to find out?" I was trying to say anything to piss him off more.
"You fucking will at midnight." He said and turned back into Travis. It was like when you argue with someone and just leave the room or hang up, but he couldn't so he turned back into Travis. 
"I-i- what just happened.?"
"Oh i think Demon is threatening to have sex with me again but im not too worried." I said focusing on the movie. Travis and i cuddled for the entire movie. Time passed.. it was 10.. the movie was over so he picked another one.
"Z-Zane..?"
"Yeah, Trav?" I ask curious.
"How unhappy are you with your chest.?" He looked up at me.
"Enough go cut then as much as i did.." i explained feeling guilty. He reached his hand up my shirt and felt over the irritated skin around my fresh cuts.
"These are new arent they.?"
I stayed silent but nodded.
"What can i do to prevent you from doing that again..?" He asked.
"I really dont know." Is all i could say.
"Dont hate them baby.. soon they will be gone. At least they arent big like Lucinda's.. i know that doesnt help much but i think you look fine with or without them okay.? You dont have to wear a binder around me. I wont ever touch them, look at them.. nothing, if you don't want me to." He explained. I nodded and kissed his forehead, thanking him over and over. he made me feel so valid and euphoric i love it and appreciated it with everything in me. Some part of me was wanting to try to accept them, but i just don't think i could that easy.. 

Around midnight, at the end of out second movie, Demon came back out and got over me within a blink of an eye holding my arms down around my head.
"You still want to test me?" He asked smirking. I acted like i was thinking really hard. "Sure why not? You're a bottom anyway so this won't take long before you're begging for me again." I threatened.
"Is that what you think?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said looking up at him with a smirk. Demon leaned down and licked my neck then left sloppy wet kisses up to my lips. He stuck his tongue in my mouth while still holding me down. He almost had a third hand with that tail of his, which was traveling up my leg. I melted into his kiss. I felt his grip on one of my wrists loosen, then felt hand wandering around my pelvis area. He grabbed my dick, and broke away from the kiss to make the comment that i was hard already.
"Get turned on the moment i pounced on you?"
"Yeah right." I tried to hide it but he was right. Demon started rubbing me through my jeans while talking dirty to me.
"Now listen to me, little boy. Youre going to obey me and do what i say without any fuss. Got that?" He was still towering over me but let go of my hands to undress me. I knew he'd get a kick out of this:
"Or what?"
I felt his hand slide from my collar bone to my neck and he grabbed my throat. "You'll find out." I smirked as he started choking me, causing him to stop and mess with my bottom lip using his thumb. I parted my lips more as if welcoming his finger. I started sucking on it, catching him off guard.
He snapped out of his trance, starting to grab my thighs and rub my butt.
"Well dont be boring pick a nice position." I demanded. Before i knew it i was on my knees with my boxers pulled down to my knees. Demon started eating me out, and quickly started using his finger to get my ready. 
"Hmm—" i kept my mouth shut but still winced.
"That's right- stay quiet baby boy." He said started to go at me slow at first. Without asking, he entered me, as if he knew i was ready. He leaned over me, kissing the back of my neck leaving bite marks on my shoulders and neck just under the collar of my shirt so mom wouldnt see them, hopefully. He would squeeze my butt every once in awhile as well. The sarcastic comments from me were starting to fade, at this point if i talked it would be over. I just kept my mouth shut so i wouldnt make any noise. We changed positions, now i was on my back, my legs spread and bent around his sides. He picked up his pace, causing me to start sweating and not being able to keep quiet that much. I had my mouth shut but whimpers escaped from every thrust into me.
"Keep quiet." He said leaning over me, kissing me again. I moaned into his mouth as he slowed down his pace but his strokes were deeper.
"Hmm-~ hmmm~" i felt my eyes roll back at how deep he was inside me. 
He parted our lips but remained inches away. "Someone's being an awfully vocal boy. I thought you said I'd be begging for you by now?" I had nothing to say to respond to him. "Awe, is someone out of sarcasm?" I saw his smirk grow into a toothy grin as he laughed at me. He rubbed my member between his pointer and middle finger gently as he started to thrust into me again.
"You cum when i say so, got it?" He said grabbing my cheeks. I nodded and bit my lip as he pounded into me again. We switched positions again and now i was riding him as he laid down. I felt myself getting close but couldn't finish yet because of what Demon said. God, what did Travis think of all of this? I hoped Demon wasnt triggering him. Honestly, not that i wasn't thinking about him at all but i couldn't stop myself. I was too far gone, taken over by lust. I bounced on Demon's huge member, supposedly it wasnt hard enough because he thrusted into me, causing it to be more rough. I clenched my eyes shut and panted out instead of moaning.
"Dont." He said sternly. I tried holding it in with everything i had along with moans. He reached up and grabbed my throat, choking me, causing me to lean my head back and bite my lip whimpering. I was pushed onto my back again, Demon's thrusts getting sloppier. They were deep and slow, and then he pulled out and finished on my stomach. I couldn't hold it in much longer. I was throbbing, and demon was trying to edge me, but i couldn't hold it in much longer. 
"Can I~?" I said with a shaky voice. He nodded at me. "Go ahead, doll." I rolled my eyes in pleasure, this being one of the intense moments of having a dick. I finished hard. It shot up and landed on my stomach. The rest dripped down my member and onto Demon's hand. I heard him chuckle that seductive laugh of his as he entered me again, holding my hands over my head, locking our lips his tongue in my mouth and all. It was slow strokes that made us both sensitive, because his body was rubbing against my throbbing member. he was moaning in my ear and it gave me goosebumps.
"Fuck, Demon, are you d-done yet-?" I tried speaking normally but my voice was shaky still. He was sucking on my neck and collarbone, ignoring me.
"i can feel you shaking, darling." he whisper against my neck, turning me on more.
"Ow- dont bite me, asshole." I winced but secretly enjoyed pain and the kinkiness in biting me.
"You like it. Look at you. my little cum slut. All big and bad until i kept my promise, huh?" He said wiping off my stomach. he pulled out of me, honestly i didnt want him too..
"I still fucked you first." I defended myself.
He started wiping us both off and then gave attitude again. "Whatever. If i see any more marks on your body that aren't from me i will punish you." 
"If that's the case ill self harm for fun." I put my boxers back on. I'll be honest i was sore from that and didn't want to move. I turned over ready for bed as Demon stood up to get his clothes back on. I heard Travis's voice behind me though.
"Z-Zane did he hurt you at all-? I thought he was being too rough but he wouldn't listen to me." I turned over to face my innocent boyfriend.
"No, Trav im alright.. i would have said something if he was hurting me." I explained.
"You're a freak..." He said, i could hear the chuckle in his voice and smile on his face as he teased but it was still soft as if he was embarrassed.
"Yeah yeah, whatever." I said giving the same joking tone. I felt him cuddle me from behind as we went to sleep.

{trigger: self harm}
I slept for maybe a few hours before not being able to sleep kicked in. Unfortunately i still had negative nightmares more often than not and one of these nightmares was about the gender and body dysphoria ive been having. I was months clean of cutting but i recently broke that streak and self harmed on my breasts like travis mentioned. They weren't deep or bleeding but it broke the skin a bit. Unfortunately when that happens it sometimes makes it worse but oh well. The point is the gender and body dysphoria have been acting up again and i thought i was just starting to get better. For once i let myself think i was getting better.. and here i was going back go square one where i started.