Zanvis || Colors

68

[ s u r p r i s e  v i s i t ]
[triggers: abusive behavior, language, talk of self harm] 

Trav and I were playing minecraft when Garroth got home from school. He knocked on the door and entered, causing us both to stop playing our game and look up at him, waiting for him to say something. 
"Did you guys just walk home?" He asked. I wasn't sure what exactly his mood was, but he sounded annoyed with like, 'what the hell man' type of tone. It caught me off guard, assuming he heard what happened from the loud mouths of popular kids, i was pissed that he had the audacity to ask us this. 
"We're okay, thank you." 
"Zane. Enough of the sarcasm okay? I didn't know what happened to you guys." 
"We walked home. Did you not hear what happened today?" 
"I did. Are you guys okay?" 
"We are now." I said back with angst. He left the room without saying anything else. I turned to face Travis again and gave him a wide eyed look. It made him chuckle. 
"I don't know." He shrugged, talking about Garroth randomly coming in my room. We continued to play minecraft until my mom got home. 
"Boys im home!" She shouted from downstairs. I turned to Travis, "we should tell her what happened.." He started. 
"I have to see how her day was first." 
"No, no reading her feelings yours are just as important. You told me we would work on that." 
"I know i did.. Okay. Alright, lets go. Right now.. C'mon.." I tried to prepare my brain for the conversation we were about to have. I wasn't sure if she was going to be disappointed or upset or angry. Everything inside of me wanted to read her overall emotional state before i said anything. I'm sure it was stressful it was her first day back in the office. Travis and I walked down to the kitchen where we greeted my mom. 
"Hi boys." She sighed out, which wasn't a good start. 
"Hi, Zianna." Travis said, finally comfortable with calling her that instead of Mrs Ro'Meave. 
"How was your day? Hopefully less stressful than mine." She tried to joke with us, but that caused me to slam on the breaks. I wasn't going to say a single word about school today unless Garroth or Travis said something.. 
"Oh- umm... what happened?" I asked. Travis turned to look at me quickly and i gave him an innocent look. It was like we were arguing with our facial expressions, because after i gave him that look, he showed me one that implied he wanted me to say something right now. I shook my head no and looked defeated. His eyes widened and then he squinted at me. As funny as he was trying to be right now i just couldn't yet. 
"It was just a busy day back at the office. I forgot how stressful it can be to deal with all those people directly. Can't even use the restroom or get coffee before they bombard you. At least while im here if i don't answer i don't answer." She chuckled. When she turned to me her smile faded. "What's wrong, Zuzu?" 
"Mom.. something happened today.. we-" *ding dong* The doorbell cut me off. We all stopped and turned to the door. 
"Im sorry hunny, we can talk about this after we see who this is okay?" She grabbed my arm gently and rubbed it with her thumb. I nodded, she exited the kitchen and walked around the corner to the front door. I glanced at Travis. 
"You did good this time.." He whispered to me. 
"Yea i guess so." I said in my normal tone. We both heard a gasp come from the front door and looked at each other nervously before running over to the front door. 
"Mom, are you okay?" When i saw her not moving i knew something was wrong. "Mom? What is it?" I asked again, moving to her side, so i could now see out the front door as well. When i saw what had made her go into freeze mode, my body couldn't help but do the same thing. 

it was my father. 

"G-Garte-?! Wh-what-.. what are you doing here?!" my mom spat out. She had tears running down her cheeks but she sounded so angry. I didn't know what to say. I was pissed! The audacity that this piece of shit has to come back to this household after everything that has happened.. after everything we did on our own. after what he did to my mom! He was not coming back in this house. 
"I heard about our youngest child on the news. I wanted to make sure she was alive still. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked my mom, ignoring me being right there. 
"Zane has been out of treatment for months now!" She defended me, and then i watched as Garte turned to look at me. 
"Still dressing like a boy, i see." 
"Why the fuck are you here?" I shot out, giving me a death glare. 
"Zane.." My mom whispered to me, grabbing my shoulder.
"Why. Are you here?" I said again, waiting for him to respond. Since he left, i transitioned a lot more. Im basically done taking T, so my voice is a lot deeper, i have a binder now, and body hair. I basically look a lot more like a guy than what i did, and he's still misgendering me on purpose. 
"To talk with Zianna." 
"You are not coming inside this house or being left alone with my mother. Fuck off." 
"I don't appreciate that tone." 
"You aren't my dad so it doesn't matter." 
"Biologically yes i am and you will respect me." 
"I am not going to ever respect someone who beat my mother, taught my brother to be an absolute asshole and misgender me because you're closed minded. You are not coming in this house. Get lost." 
Garroth came running down the stairs to see why i was yelling. He looked at Travis and then at the front door. "Dad?" 
"My boy, Garroth. Look how grown up you are. Would you so kindly convince your mother and sibling to let me in. I would like to talk with your mother about our relationship." Garte said to my older brother, again calling him son but not me. I turned to look at Garroth who had a disgusted expression. 
"I-.. I just don't know.. " 
"Garroth? Why dont you trust me? Im still your father am i not?" 
Garroth didn't know how to respond, and this whole situation left Travis feeling extremely uncomfortable and awkward. I turned back to my 'father' and spoke for everyone. 
"No, no no no. You are not coming in. You don't have the right to come inside after everything you did to us. Go. or im calling the police." 
"I wasn't talking to you, i was talking to your brother." 
"I don't care! LEAVE. NOW!" I started shutting the door on his face when he caught it and pushed it open, pushing my mother and i back. When he made his way inside he saw Travis watching the situation unfold awkwardly. 
"I was unaware we had guests over. Who is this?" Garte asked brushing his hair back trying to act friendly again. And not to mention saying we like he still lived here.
"None of your business, thats who." 
"He's Zane's friend, Garte. Ive taken him in." Mom spoke up. I didn't want dad to know anything about Travis or his business but if it would make him go away faster... Garte made it clear he wasn't leaving anytime soon without talking to my mother. 
"Interesting. So Zianna, kids, i need to talk with you about moving back in. We aren't divorced, and i- Zianna, you aren't wearing your ring anymore?" 
"No, Garte, im not. You must not remember what you did to us when you left." My mom defended. I knew then i got my attitude from her. He took a step closer to her, 
"Dont you dare bring up what i did. You were useless the two months before i left. Not only that you raised our daughter to be a freak!" Garte pointed at me, Travis grabbed my arm when he shouted. Garte did a double take on me and Trav. "You let our daughter turn into a boy and dress like a freak! And now that she thinks shes a boy you let her act gay! Zianna what were you thinking?!" 
"Hey, that's enough!" Garroth intervened. 
"I don't want to hear another word come out of you. I raised you better!" Garte shouted at my older brother. 
"I think you need to leave. We want nothing to do with you." Garroth went against his wishes and spoke again. He walked over to me and grabbed my arm, ripping me away from Travis. He pulled up my sleeve to look at my arm. 
"Let go of me, fucking asshole!" I struggled. But it wasn't enough to escape his grasp. He caught me cutting once as a middle schooler and checked my arms constantly after that, slapping my wrists with a ruler anytime i hurt myself.. I finally got loose of his grasp and saw how my wrist started turning red. 
"Zuzu-" My mom sounded upset, then she started tearing up and shouting back at him. "Garte RoMeave. I need you to get the hell out of my house! If you wouldn't have run off i would have divorced you long ago!" Without being able to continue, he backhanded her. Right in front of all of us. Travis and I jumped. Garroth ran in the other room and started calling the police. 
"Don't you dare touch my mother again!" I started punching him in the stomach over and over. It was no use, letting rage get to the best of me would only result in failure. He grabbed me by the hair to pull me back and then brought me close to his face. "You will never be my son. You're a confused freak and that is all you'll ever be. A confused, selfish girl." 
I had tears rolling down my cheeks from him pulling my hair so tight, not because what he was saying even though that hurt like salt in a wound. I spit in his face, causing him to let go of me and hit me too. I fell to the floor from the impact. I touched my lip which started bleeding. When i tasted blood i felt the rage boil inside of me. 
"Zane wait-" mom tried stopping me but i couldn't stop it. I kicked his shin from the floor causing him to stumble a bit. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. 
"Travis run!" My mom shouted at him, "Garte dont you touch him!" 
"I don't care what you do to me, i am a boy and you will respect me and my mom. You will get the hell out of here and never come back!" I shouted. He stormed over to me, pushing me down to the floor. I tried fighting back and kicking him but he got on top of me and lifted my shirt. Garroth grabbed my mom dragging her to the living room and then ran back over but the second he got close he swung the scissors at Garroth. Garte lifted my shirt up again and started placing the blade under my binder against my skin. 
"DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!" I shouted, now starting to cry. 
"If you won't accept it, ill have to show you the hard way. You are my daughter!" He spoke. Garroth tried pushing him off of me, causing the scissors to cut part of my back. He swung them at Garroth again and managed to cut his leg a bit. Garte swiftly put the scissors back under my binder

 and finished cutting it off of my body... 

"FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!" I bursted into tears. "I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!" 
Travis came running back down the stairs and turned into Demon swiftly, never stopping, full sprint to me. He scratched Garte with his nails, causing him to drop the scissors. I closed my eyes, feeling like i had been shot. The life left my body. I would have rather him cut me with the scissors rather than cut my binder in half. 
"Touch any of them again and it'll be the last thing you do." I heard a deep, angered voice come from Demon, one that i haven't heard before. 
"Another freak. Why am i not surprised." Just then, sirens were heard from outside and an officer came in the open door to grab Garte. I laid there on the floor crying. When Garte finished cutting my binder in half, he ripped it off of me, causing it to give me rug burn around my neck and other arm. I didn't move. My dignity was taken. I wasn't even worried about my busted lip, i didn't care. I cared about my identity. The only thing that made me feel semi okay, was taken from me. 
"Ma'am, are you alright?" An officer asked my mom who was crying in Garroth's arms. She nodded, "Check on my sons, please." She cried not being able to move. Another officer went over to Garroth to patch up his cut on his leg. 
Travis was back out, not Demon, and he rushed to me abruptly. "Zane?! Zane say something to me baby please." He held my hand and turned me over to look at my face. Once he saw me lifeless on the floor crying he helped me up to hug me. "Come here.. We will get you another one okay? You were so brave.. You're their hero.." He tried comforting me. Even though he was the one who saved me again.. I didn't feel like a hero. I felt like a freak. The paramedic came over to me next, checking on my back. 
"Son, can you take off your shirt please? I need to look at your back it's bleeding a lot." 
"Just to here." Travis said holding up the back of my shirt up to the back of my neck, leaving the front down. My chest was to him so that also helped. The paramedic started patching me up. The cut wasn't deep enough to need stitches.. I hid my face in Travis's shoulder and started crying my eyes out. 

some eventful fucking day it was.