What The Hell Is Wrong With This Family? (BNHA Chatfic)

22

Touya: If your father fucking sucks clap your hands 👏

Shouto: 👏

Natsuo: 👏

Fuyumi: 👏

Keigo: 👏

Izuku: 👏

Touya: 👀👀👀

Touya: OH I WANNA HEAR YOUR STORY

Touya: Keigooo get me the popcornnnn

Keigo: I'm coming :D

Shouto: Wait what did All Might do?  I thought you two got along really well

Izuku: OMFG SHO!  HE'S NOT MY DAD, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU??

Shouto: You guys are VERY similar

Touya: Man, you do look like his son, I have to agree with Shouto on that one

Izuku: I—

Izuku: That's not the point!  Sure it would be nice if he adopted me... BUT HE ISN'T MY DAD OKAY IUYCFVGH

Touya: Fine then.  What's going on then with your daddy issues?

Izuku: I don't have daddy issues!  Shouto didn't do anything...

Touya: LIUHYTCRXCVB

Natsuo: 👁👄👁

Shouto: OMG IZUKU STOP PLEASE

Izuku: Wait what did I—

Izuku: Oh

Izuku: Ohhhhh

Izuku: Ohhhhhhhhhh

Izuku: 😳

Touya: Y'ALL ARE KINKY LITTLE SHITS

Touya: DON'T EVEN DENY THAT YOU GUYS FUCKED ANYMORE, AT THIS POINT Y'ALL JUST WANNA GET CAUGHT

Shouto: Touya for the LAST FUCKING TIME, IZUKU AND I ARE VIRGINS

Touya: NAH THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY, NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU HAVE STD'S

Izuku: Wait what does STD stand for again

Natsuo:

Touya:

Natsuo:

Touya:

Natsuo:

Touya:

Natsuo: STD stands for Save the Date

Natsuo: Touya's been giving out invites for his wedding

Natsuo: Touya's been giving so many people STD's

Natsuo: Like he has so many STD's to spare

Touya: No silly, it stands for Super Technical Device 

Touya: So like a computer

Izuku: OMG I HAVE SO MANY STD'S AT HOME

Natsuo: 

Touya: BAHAHAHHAHA

Touya: And it's super easy to get them too

Touya: Like you can trade them

Touya: Kind of like Pokémon

Izuku: Wait!  That means I can get them from my friend Kaminari, right?

Touya: PFFTTT YES YES EXACTLY

Natsuo: It can also be AIDS

Natsuo: Which means Audio Inspired Device System

Izuku: So like Alexa?

Natsuo: Mhmhm yes yes

Izuku: Omg wow!  It feels great to have AIDS!!

Natsuo: SGSGHSJKIUYGH

Touya: WAIT WAIT LET'S NOT FORGET HIV

Izuku: What's that?

Touya: Helpful Intelligent Vehicle 

Natsuo: Like a Tesla

Izuku: Ohhh that sucks, I don't have a drivers license or a Tesla

Izuku: Man I want HIV

Touya: KWJHGF DON'T WORRY SHOUTO COULD GIVE YOU SOME

Shouto: Fuck off, my sperm is fine

Touya: Not for long

Shouto: 🤨

Natsuo: OH OH OH STD CAN ALSO STAND FOR SOMEWHAT TASTY DONUTS

Izuku: Oooo Shouto, I could go for some STD's right now

Touya: Yeah, Shouto, supply him with the STD's

Shouto: STOP

Izuku: You don't want any STD's?

Natsuo: Get some STD's Shouto, everyone's got some

Touya: Izuku you wanna come with me and get some STD's??

Shouto: no no no no no FUCK NO PLEASE GOD STOP

Izuku: Touya, if we get some STD's, we should share with Shouto, it seems only fair

Touya: Of course of course, I mean, it really is that easy

Touya: You can give him some after I get you some

Izuku: Okay!

Shouto: [PLKOJIHUGYTDRCTVYBHJOMJIHG7EYRHIJ48YV4IRV847T789403OXIUYCGH&t^r%$ert&(*&654f[(*&^%VBUG^FOminbtrve^%R78T8YUI[O,P.O,MTdrftYGUIJUYT5R4567T8uhyt$%^&*iUYGT5678Y9OKKU8Y7TFTVBJOK[PHGFTDRSE3421234321'12345TYTRFGFCDXSDFGHNKLP[]\][POIJHGVBNJYTRTFYGUGT7GUHG6FTHJK

Shouto: Izuku.. wait

Izuku: Hmm??

Touya: 👀

Natsuo: 👀

Shouto: ...

Shouto: Stay a little bit, I'll get you some STD's...

Touya: AHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHA

Natsuo: OMFG THIS IS TOO MUCH I FELL OFF MY BED

Shouto: ...Please just whatever you do avoid Touya for the love of god

Izuku: Awwweee okay!  We can get STD's together!!

Shouto: Uh... yeah..

Touya: Getting STD's together like a true couple

Natsuo: Romance at its finest

Touya: Y E S

Natsuo: Wait wait wait

Natsuo:

Touya: BAHAHAHAHHA PLS

Shouto: I'm fucking done with this family