What The Hell Is Wrong With This Family? (BNHA Chatfic)

30

Shouto: You know what, I'm so glad that I'm no longer falling victim to Touya's dumbassery and instead I'm finally being left to die in the woods just as I have wished for so long after being added to this gc

Izuku: You do realize that we were spared after Touya attempted to kidnap Kacchan again and Hawks showed up and had this dramatic reveal about why they couldn't "adopt" and there was a lot of sobbing, not sure why Tokoyami was there, idk it's still very blurry to me

Shouto: Well then I must have been fucking high because last I checked I WAS BEING CARRIED OFF INTO THE FOREST IN A DUFFLE BAG BY AN ANGRY POMERAIAN

Izuku: Well maybe you really did eat those brownies that Sero made for your father

Shouto: What does that have to do with anything?

Izuku: ...

Izuku: Omg

Shouto: What?

Izuku: Did you... did you eat them...?

Shouto: ...Maybe

Izuku: OMG

Izuku: THOSE WERE MADE AS A PRANK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ATE THEM THOSE WERE EDIBLES

Shouto: WHAT!?  THEY WERE SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND THERE WAS A NOTE BY IT THAT SAID "For Endeavor-San :)" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAWKS BEING THE THOT HE WAS AND I ATE THEM OUT OF SPITE FOR MY FATHER

Izuku: DUMBASS

Shouto: DON'T CALL ME A DUMBASS IF YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME THE PLAN

Shouto: BESIDES, EARILER NATSUO BET ME ¥2000 IF I DID

Natsuo: Best ¥2000 ever spent

Shouto: I am going to kill you

Touya: Are we just going to ignore the fact that Katsuki can't be my child :(

Katsuki: Piss off and don't call me that

Shouto: Yeah, he prefers Kacchan

Shouto: Right, Kacchan?

Katsuki: I dare you to call me that one more time

Shouto: So Izuku can call you Kacchan but I can't?

Katsuki: Mind your business, fuckwipe

Touya: Kacchan can you shut up for a second let me be sad :(

Touya: You too, Sho-Sho

Shouto: Wow, you can't even come up with a new nickname?

Shouto: What a loser

Touya: Shut your flat ass up

Izuku: Don't talk about my boyfriend's ass like that 😤

Touya: We get it you like to see him naked please stop announcing it to the world smh 🙄

Rei: Excuse me, but why is nobody worried about the fact that Shouto ate edibles?  Also, I'm also concerned about why you decide to talk about all this in front of me...

Touya: Because, the doctors said it was good for your mental health

Fuyumi: I'm sure that's not what they said

Touya: Ofc it is, memes have all healing powers

Fuyumi: Yes, Touya, because that makes sense