AS1: RISK [✔]

31

Chapter 31
Zari

The whole ride is silent. Pagkatapos naming magkaroon ng nakakaiyak na usapan, nakatanggap kami ng tawag galing kay Johan. He's already at my condo and asking us where we are kaya nagmadali na kaming pumunta roon.

I'm sitting at the passenger seat, looking outside the window. Dahil sa nangyari kanina, nawala ang kalasingan ko. I don't feel like vomiting anymore. Inaantok lang kasi pagod ang mata galing sa pag-iyak kanina.

"Do you want to listen to some music?" biglaang tanong ni Gin.

I didn't give him any answer. I feel exhausted because of earlier. Knowing that he understood me relieves me. Nagpatugtog na lamang sya kahit na hindi ko sinabing gusto ko. But what did help me also. Buti nalang at maganda ang kanta.

The song was good until it was 'Pagsamo'. Napakagat ako sa labi ko habang nakikinig sa kanta. That was the song I used to sing every time I remember him...because I only wanted him for me.

Kasi kapag hindi sya, ayoko ng magmahal pa.

"Gin..."

He looks at me as I call him. Nakarating na kami dito sa labas ng condo ko. I already told him that he doesn't need to get out of the car. I look at his face. He's waiting for what I will tell him.

I smile softly at him. Natigilan sya dahil sa ngiting binigay ko. "Sayang tayo, noh?" I sounded so broken while asking him this.

Napaawang ang labi nya dahil sa tanong ko. I just laughed because of his reaction. Bumaba na ako sa kotse nya nang hindi hinintay ang sagot nya. I just went to Johan and take my keys and bag from him.

"Thank you," I said. I kissed his cheeks. "Happy birthday again."

He smiles at me. "Thank you. Have a good night's rest."

I just nodded at him before going to my condo. As I entered my condo, tears started rolling down my cheeks. All the pain I felt earlier while talking to Gin came back. Napasandal na lamang ako sa pintuan habang hawak ang dibdib.

"Tama na..." naiiyak na sabi ko habang hawak ang dibdib ko.

The pain is too much for me. Ang sakit magmahal ng taong nakalaan sa iba. He was the man who built me differently. He changed me. He molded me. He made me think that love is perfect... whereas, in fact, it's not.

I should have not taken the risk that time. I should have said 'no' to him. I should have dumped him...so I could avoid feeling this pain. But thinking about it now...what if I really did not take the risk that time?

Will I be doing good now? Or will I be full of regrets?

"Kamusta ang party?" Suji asked me.

Nandito sya sa opisina ko. Hindi nya ako naitanong kagabi pagkauwi ko kasi natutulog na sya sa condo nya. I look at her while biting the tip of my pen.

"Ayos lang naman," I answered. I don't want to talk about what happened that day between Gin and me. "It was fun."

"Hindi ka nagdala ng cake para sa akin?" napanguso pa sya na parang bata.

I grimaced at her. "Mahiya ka nga," I said which made her laugh.

Weeks passed and I had been hoping that I won't see Gin again. I don't want to see him since I'm already trying my best to heal and move on. But destiny is cruel. I kept on seeing him within the weeks that has passed by.

Nakikita ko sya palagi kapag pupunta ako sa Mall. Kapag nagpapagasolina ako. Palagi ko pa syang nakikita sa gym kasi pareho kami ng gym na pinupuntahan. I also keep on seeing him everytime I go to my favorite coffee shop.

It feels like destiny is preventing me from healing. Why can't I heal and move on from the past? But I'm not the only one who always avoids every time we saw each other. He also tries his best to avoid me because he knows I don't want to interact with him anymore...which is good.

I want to be free already.

"Gala tayo mamaya?" tanong ni Suji sa akin. "Ay, pupunta ka sa gym?" napansin nyang nagbibihis ako.

I nodded at her. "Pagkatapos ko nalang mag gym. Let's eat outside for dinner."

Napangiti kaagad sya sa sagot ko. "Talaga ba? Sige! Sinabi mo yan, ha!"

"Oo naman. Si Shawn pala, hindi pa bibisita rito?" tanong ko kasi pansin ko na hindi tumupad si Shawn na bibista sya madalas dito sa amin.

Napanguso sya. "Hindi pa, eh. Busy pa kasi sya roon. Hayaan na muna natin sya. Baka bibisita na yon next month," kumindat sya sa akin. "Madidiligan na rin sa wakas!"

Napailing nalang ako sa sinabi nya. I just kissed her cheeks before leaving. Hindi na ako nag lock sa condo kasi dito raw sya mag stay pansamantala hanggang sa makabalik ako. She's just watching Netflix using my account.

Pagkarating ko sa parking lot, tumungo na ako sa kotse ko para makapunta na sa gym. When I arrived at the gym, I immediately went to my coach. I was just doing my usual work out when Gin suddenly entered the gym.

Maraming babae ang nandito sa gym kaya ang daming bulungan dito. Ako naman ay nag focus na lamang sa pag work out. I don't want to meddle with their talks about Gin.

"I heard that he decided to be an engineer. Bakit kaya hindi sya nag business kagaya ng gusto ng mga magulang nya?"

"Baka hindi marunong mag handle ng negosyo."

"Hindi sya natulad sa mga pinsan nya."

I don't know why he chose engineering rather than business...but I think it's not because of those things. He's good at business. I knew that one since I was there before with him. He told me anything about the business that he's planning to have kaya nga nakakagulat na hindi sya naging business man.

I was about to leave them alone so I could take a bath and change my clothes before leaving...not until I heard them say something that made me mad so much.

"He's just a disappointment for their family."

Nakuha ko ang atensyon ng lahat pati kay Gin ng bigla kong sinampal ang nagsabi noon. Nagulat sya sa ginawa ko pati ang kachismis nya. I just can't let her say something like that.

Gin has never been a disappointment.

"A-Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo?!" kinakabahang tanong nya sa akin habang hawak ang mukha nyang nasampal ko kanina.

I glared at her. "Will you shut up and stop minding other people's lives? Wala ka bang sariling buhay?" I asked her coldly which made her gulp.

I just rolled my eyes and irritation before going to the shower room so I could shower. Naiirita pa rin ako habang naliligo at nagbibihis kaya huminga ako nang malalim para mapakalma ang sarili bago lumabas sa shower room.

Natigilan ako nang makita ko si Gin. Kakatapos nya lang mag work out. Puno ng pawis ang katawan nya. May hawak syang towel kaya alam ko na tutungo sya sa shower room para maligo at magbihis na.

"Hi," bati nya sa akin kaya nagulat ako. Akala ko pa naman ay hindi nya ako papansin, matutuwa na sana ako. He smiles at me softly. "I saw what you did earlier."

Napansandal ako sa pader. "So, what?" malditang tanong ko.

"I knew already that they were talking bad about me," he sighed and smile again. "So when I saw what you did to that girl..." he bit his lips. "...I want to say thank you for it."

Natahimik ako. He sounded like a kid saying thank you to someone who saved him. Napabuntong hininga ako at napailing na lamang. "It's nothing. I just did something that's needed to do."

I just gave her a smile before walking pass by him. Palayo na sana ako sa kanya nang bigla nya akong hilain. I raised a brow at him, waiting him to say something.

He smiled softly at me. "Thank you...for protecting me earlier. I'm so happy because of what you did."