the not so good subgoal

14

-george pov-

just for the jokes.

when i heard dream say that my heart weirdly sank.
i knew it was just for the jokes, the fact that he was just keeping a running joke. i guess i took it to far. they were just jokes, you know, dream and i having fun.

i started to feel like i was overthinking all of this. i couldn't focus now, i was lost in my scrambled thoughts. i thought about ending the call with dream so i could have time to myself for once. even though i craved his affection.

"i think i'm gonna go now," i spoke "i'm quite tired."

"oh okay, sorry if a kept you up."

"no you're fine it's not your fault"

"bye georgie"

"bye dreamie"

call ended

"this is exactly what i was just talking about. flirting back and fourth. was that even flirting tho? it was that just a joke, using a friendly nickname. but why do i care so much about this anyways? why is this such a big deal." i questioned under my breath.

"am i just overreacting?"

i tried pushing my thoughts away. but they ran back to dream. i needed to find a way to distract myself.

sapnap. i can call sapnap and talk about how i feel. i'm not good at expressing myself but i need to try.

i called sapnap on discord from my phone, hoping he would answer.

he didn't

i called once more, no answer.

i gave up. i shut my phone off holding it tight to my chest. i gripped it harder and harder by the second, until i felt my face boil. i suddenly let go, as a start breathing heavily. when my phone screen suddenly lights up.

incoming call: sapnap

i answered the phone hesitantly waiting for him to speak first, even though i called him first.

"hello? what did you need?"

"sapnap i need your help" i demand

"okay then? with what?"

i stuttered out a response. "do you mind if i vent, let everything out?"

"sure, go on"

"okay thank you, sorry if this is a lot for you" i sighed

"ever since the stream earlier. my stream, where i had to read that fan-fiction i've been acting different. my attitude has changed, my thoughts have changed, every sapnap. i don't know how to explain this without sounding weird but after i ended my stream i-" i hesitated, should i tell him this?

fuck it.

"sapnap, i went back to the fan-fiction and i continued reading it. i read like five other chapters sapnap and i- i enjoyed it? it didn't bother me, i was fine with it. then i got a call from dream while reading it. and it made me realize how much i adore him, his voice, his laugh, everything sapnap. i just can't, i cant stop thinking about him. he's my bestfriend sapnap, i just don't want to ruin anything with him."

sapnap let out a gasp.

"was that too much?" i spoke

"george do you like him? because that's not," he took a deep breathe, "that's not normal 'friend' behavior george."

"sapnap that's the thing! i don't know- i don't even like guys, i'm straight."

"george i think you like-"

"NO SAPNAP. HE SAID ALL OF THE FLIRTING BETWEEN US WAS JUST JOKES ANYWAYS. NONE OF THIS MATTERS." i fiercely interrupt

"george-"

"no sapnap, i'm sorry. but i have to go."

i left the call, logging off of discord. i angrily shut my phone off, plugging it into my charger on my night stand. i set my phone down and roll over.

eventually falling asleep.

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words- 608
votes appreciated :]
(guys i'm sorry I had to)