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iv

You,

We sat at the exact same place where we first met each other three days ago. I was quiet during the first 30 mins of our stay in front of the seashore. He too wasn't saying anything nor doing anything. He too was quiet for the whole 30 mins but after that he broke the silence. "Do you always go to beach?" he asked me while looking at my eyes. He likes doing this— looking at my eyes while talking to me. It's kinda awkward so I just gave him a nod as an answer. "Why?" he added when he didn't get a reply. "It's quiet here. Whenever I come here, I always forgot about the reality. Here, I can be myself." I answered him so he will shut his mouth and will not talk to me again but I was wronged. "Me? I always go to beach to release the negative thoughts that keeps on pestering me." he said to me but this time he didn't look at me, for he looked at the calm waves of the beach. "Here, I couldn't feel that I am alone." he said.

After that, he became silent again. Minutes have passed, the awkwardness between us slowly loosen up.  Admittedly, he is attractive outside as well as inside. Surprisingly, his presence brings me comfort and hope, and staying with him feels like home.

"I also don't want to be alone." I started. I was thinking of telling him my story. Maybe this is the perfect time to let go of this resentment, and maybe he is the perfect person who can listen to my story for the first time.

"Off, have you ever loved someone?" I said to him but he just smiled at me. "I'll take that as a yes. But, have you ever loved someone to point that you're willing to change yourself for their own happiness?" this time he didn't nod nor smile at me. "I am an only child. My parents are both doctors and are famous in their field. Since I was young, I had to reach the standards they have set. Mistake wasn't in my vocabulary as I was growing up, only the word perfection. I was an obedient son that every parent would want to have. But that was in the past. When I was in senior high school, everything has changed. Even my parents changed. That day was the beginning of the catastrophe that I'm still suffering until now. When I was in senior high school, I came out to my parents. They were against of me being attracted and loving someone with the same sex as mine. They started to hate me more because of it. They became cold at me and treated me like a nobody. I couldn't blame them, who would want to have a son like me. With that, I want and had to prove myself to my parents and other people. I want them to realize that respect shouldn't be based on genders. Love shouldn't be given to people based on what the norms say. I want my parents back, and so I pushed myself to become the best at everything. But as I was shaping myself to become someone whom they want, I lost myself."

I stopped after I sensed that a tear will come out my eye. I looked away from him to hide it, but it's too late.

"I don't why am I saying all of this shitty things to you. You are just a stranger." I said with a sarcastic tone as I was wiping the tear that successfully fell down my eye.

"Someone said to me that it's easier to open up to strangers because they don't know you deeper. They will not judge you because they don't know who you really are, and you also don't know them that much." he calmly replied.

"I will not judge you." he added with a genuine smile. 

"But, you are an outsider still" I hesitantly replied.

"I don't want to be just a stranger or an outsider to you. I want to be your friend, Gun. If you'll allow me to be one." he replied.

... and that's the beginning of an unexpected story.

Love,
Gun