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xii

You,

I haven't written to you for days, and I'm sorry. Mediocre. Nothing much happened not until this day.

Today was a surprise. Papii texted me earlier saying he's in trouble and he needs me, he needs his Gun. And I, being a worried person, cannot calm down myself. I was bothered the whole morning, kept on glancing on the phone, checking the time. When it's time to go home, I went straight at our usual spot.

At our usual spot.

It was five thirty in the afternoon when I reached the place panting so hard for running and worrying too much. When I reached the place, in my surprise, I found him silently watching the calm beach, his hands were playing along the sand. He's sitting on a checkered blanket wearing his uniform as he was watching the waves of the beach. He looks fine from what I saw from afar. I was just standing meters away from him, admiring his perfectly built body and godly side profile. Then, I wondered, what did I do during my past life to have someone like him. I smiled. He's too good, too perfect for me. At exactly six in the evening, I went on him.

"Busy? I'm sorry I just missed you"

"No it's alright. What's your problem? How can I help you, Papii?"

"Just stay with me, stay by side."

and so I did.

Papii is the person who doesn't want to bother others when he's bothered, which made me worry more about him.

"It's about my mom" he said. "But there's nothing to worry much", he added.

His eyes were worried. It felt like he's here with me but his spirit, his mind is wandering somewhere I cannot reach. I held his hand, then smiled at him sympathetically. My fingers brushed his cheeks, wiped away his tear, then gently caressed his hair, and said "Everything will be alright" I let his head rest over my shoulder as I gently rub his cheeks. We spent the night with this position as we watched the stars illuminating the night sky, and the sound of the waves has become our lullaby.

It was a perfect night, not until he spoke.

"Gun, I cannot take it anymore. I want you to be mine officially."

I was stunned, shocked as hell.

"I like you, Gun. Not because I can see my brother in you but because you are you. Allow me to like you, to take care of you. Allow me to open windows when they close doors at you. Allow me to be your northern star- I may not be as bright as the star- but I'll do my best to guide you on your way home."

I was speechless.

I'm confused, but more of afraid. Papii is too good to be true. I am afraid that I will ruin him once I owned him.

Minutes passed...I found myself saying...

"I am not yet ready to enter in to another chapter with you. Give me more time, Papii"

Love,
Gun