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vii

You,

"Are you alone?"

These were the first words he said to me as soon as he entered my house, and I just smiled at him. There's nothing needs to hide anymore. Living alone in this grand yet lifeless mansion is a proof that no one cares for me. No parents, no family. Luckily, they are still sending money as my allowance every month. But money can't buy love. Love is priceless. Money can't buy happiness. I don't need money, what I need is people who will accept and love me for who I am. I need them. I need my family.

But thanks to this stranger for accompanying me these past weeks. His simple acts greatly impacted me. This dinner is just little payback from what he's been doing for me.

We've been eating for an hour now. Awkwardness wasn't invited during our dinner. As days pass by, little by little, we are becoming comfortable with each other. Given the comfortability to one another, he opened up with me unexpectedly.

He told me his story without hesitation. Off was a former psychology student. He has a younger brother whom he loves so much. He is the reason why he took this course. When he was eighteen, his brother committed a suicide using his father's gun. Yes, you've read it right. He committed suicide due to the pressure he's getting from his parents. When he lost his brother he promised himself that he will not allow to happen it again to any of his loved ones. Off wanted to treat people who are experiencing what his brother experienced because he felt guilty about his brother's death. When Off was telling me all of this, I saw his hands trembled and his eyes were filled with tears. I moved closer to him, I tried to hold his hands but he moved it away from me. Then, he looked at my eyes. Now, the tables have turned, I was the one who's looking at his swollen eyes. I wiped the tears that's keep on flowing through his cheeks.

"Today was the day of his death."

I got stoned and felt goosebumps all over my body after hearing those words. Today was the last day he saw his brother. His sobs turned into wail, crying his heart out loud. All I could is to console him, hug him, and stay by his side. We stayed like this for quite some time. Then, when he calmed down, he continued his story. That day, he saw his brother crying and even talking to someone but he saw no one. Then he heard a gunshot and saw his brother full of blood. And on his hand he saw a note. Off still has the note with him. He picked it out his wallet and handed it to me. On a sticky note, his brother wrote his farewell.

"No one cares. I'm trying my best but no one cares. All their eyes only looks at you. Only you. I wish I am you, Kuya Off.

I love you Kuya but I cannot take it anymore. In our parents eyes, I am nothing. They only want you. Only you."

"If only I've known I could have saved him", he keeps on saying me. His eyes reflects two emotions: pain and guilt.

Now, he gave up that course because his main reason still haunts him. Taking this course just reminded him about his brother's death.  This course triggered him and made him hate himself. So he shifted to education to pursue his passion.

I was speechless from his story. This guy really is unpredictable. Behind those moon-like bright smile hides a depressing pain.

This night felt surreal. The moon bragged his light up high as we were saying goodbye to each other. I hugged him and said that everything will be alright. I also thank him for trusting me his story and for the breakfast he's giving me every morning. Five seconds have passed, he's still clinged on me and I just let him hug me. Afterwards, he let go of the hug but before that he whispered me:

"If I didn't save my brother, I must save you."

and he asked me again, "Will you accept me to be your friend?"

This time is the right time and he's the right person too.

I responded, "From now on, I am your friend and you're my friend too."

His moon-like bright smile shined again and overshadowed the moonlight.

Tonight, a stranger turned into a friend.

Love,
Gun