Rule # 11: Even Doctors are not invincible

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When I was a teenager, I thought I was invincible. I mean I have dodged many bullets... I'm afraid I don't mean that figuratively. But that is a story for another time.

But all through my life I have always been on the opposite side of the hospital bed, which I am very thankful for. But I have a lot of people in this world that I have watched die right in front of me... and sometimes to this day, I wish that I could trade places with them. No, I'm not suicidal or depressed. I don't hate my life. I am in fact really happy with who I am today. It's just that... it's more like survivor's guilt. I survived and they didn't. I have fought harder than everyone else to survive. But the more I fought against death, the more I lost. But what if one time... I just didn't fight back?


~~~


Gonzalez and I exited the scrub room, walking out into the hallway. Brandon let out a loud sigh.

"Ok so get the patient to the ICU and our other scheduled surgery is in about four hours so he needs to be prepped. And then go check up on the two patients we saw " He directed. I looked up at him.

"Do you think I could tap out and get another resident?" I asked, stretching my back. He scoffed.

"Why? You've got another date with Jaehyun?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"For the last time Brandon, it was not a date. He just offered to help me babysit Nicky when you were gone" I explained, causing him to shrug.

"You didn't think to mention it to me?" He asked.

"I just forgot, ok? Look I'm so sorry. But I know that deep down this is not about Nicky. This is you being overprotective of me" I claimed. He crossed his arms.

"Damn right I am!"

"Look I appreciate you caring for me like an older brother but you are really taking this sibling thing a little too seriously. You're supposed to be my brother, not my father." I complained.

"Look, Jaehyun isn't your type." He mumbled.

"How do you know what my type is!?" I asked.

"Look he just... He's one of those guys. Anyways the point is, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"And I appreciate that but you don't have to do this because you're not my real brother." I snapped. He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh god! I-i'm sorry. I didn't mean that-" 

"Look it's fine. Go do whatever it is that you needed to do. And then go find another doctor cuz you are off my service" He fumed, walking away. I sighed, walking over to the nurse's station.

"Hey... can you check if there are any attendings who need a resident on their service for me?" I asked. The nurse nodded, typing something on the computer. I leaned my head on the desk a little bit but quickly shot back up when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You are here early! I thought your shift isn't till 8 am." Jaehyun said. I pouted, turning to face him.

"How close are we?" I asked.

"Uh... excuse me?" He stuttered.

"How close are we? Because I want to tell you about how I feel disgusting and probably smell disgusting but I can't do that unless we are close" I explained. He nodded.

"What happened?"

"I got here around 7:30 yesterday because that's when my shift starts and I was supposed to leave at 8 but we got pulled into an emergency surgery which lasted 6 hours. And then right after that, the patient that we were supposed to operate on today had to be taken into the OR because his aneurysm burst and it was pushing against his aorta. So that was another 6 hours."

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