forty six

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joonie <3

today 2:21 am

kookie <3
dw i'm on my way
home. just had to
clear my head
read


[INCOMING VIDEO CALL FROM: joonie <3]

accept | decline

jungkook forced a smile on his lips and hoped his eyes weren't too red or puffy as he was met by joonie's face and a few other voices in the background

oh, today was the movie night they had planned weeks ago, jungkook realized - he had declined the offer to join back then.

"sorry, i just wanted to be in a call with you to make sure you got home safely -" namjoon muttered, worried. before he was cut off by a voice yelling in the background. "tell him he's welcome to join movie night!" jungkook thinks it might have been hobi, he wasn't sure though. joonie raised an eyebrow. "wanna join?" jungkook softly shook his head, not sure.

"i'm not sure i'm in the right mindset today for movie night, i'm sorry joonie," jungkook replied as he thought about it - mostly, he didn't want to face taehyung. the one message he had sent earlier had hit a vulnerable spot in jungkook. it had hurt a tad more than he had expected it to.

and as he watched taehyung pop into the view behind namjoon, simply just walking by. jungkook felt his chest tighten as if someone was squeezing the life out of his heart. a singular tear escaped the deadly grip jungkook had been holding on them. namjoon noticing right away. "are you crying?" he asked, jungkook shook his head.

"nah, it's just the cold weather - especially the wind, that's making my eyes water, don't worry. wait - you know what? i'll come over, i'll be there in uh, i don't know. 20 minutes perhaps i'm quite far away," jungkook mumbled, knowing that if he let himself take distance away from the others he'd spiral right back into never leaving the comfort of his apartment. and jungkook's tired of letting taehyung and everything that came with him determine his mood - tired of everything. feelings. he hated those, always had.

"okay! we'll see you soon, bubba. do you want time to stay on the call with you?" namjoon asked. jungkook just let out a small 'no' before the both of them said their goodbyes. he knew namjoon was busy with, well, socializing, and he didn't want namjoon to be hung up with jungkook for the next 20 minutes doing nothing. and honestly, he'd rather walk alone with music in his ears. jungkook had to gather his mind a bit before he arrived, and he knew that it was only possible for him to do that alone.

so he did. he turned his 'you dance secretly inside of my heart, but i'm not even close to yours' playlist up and then he just walked, having somehow memorized the route without even realizing. and as he arrived he was no longer on the verge of crying - and if anyone happened to notice his eyes were a little redder than usual, he'd be able to blame it on the cold wind outside.

as jungkook entered the door he was met by laugher, music and what appeared to be karaoke,  jungkook simply guessed based on the horrific notes and screaming out what sounded like lyrics that was going on.

"are we doing karaoke?" he asked excitedly, voice loud and energetic - the exact opposite of what he was feeling. the others yelled excitedly as they faced jungkook, jimin immediately wrapping his arms around the younger who just laughed it out. taehyung didn't even look in jungkook's direction, he just continued to text away on his phone, jungkook quickly realized. ignoring the stab of pain he felt in his heart. he was here to have fun - not to pine after taehyung yet another day.

"oh, yes we're doing karaoke. please bless us with your voice," jimin mumbled arms still around jungkook. "uh.. i don't know," jungkook just mumbled a bit unsure of himself - of how bad he had messed up his voice while crying. "wait! please sing the one you've been humming the last few days," namjoon said - jungkook cursed at himself, why did he have to have a soft spot for the older?

"fuck okay, sure. lost stars by adam levine it is," jungkook mumbled wiggling himself out of jimin's iron grip. as he took the microphone from jin who gave him a small smile and a pat on the back. and then jungkook started singing. voice soft and honey-like.

"oh, please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasy. please see me, reaching out for someone i can't see." for the first time since the younger had entered the room taehyung dared to look up - mesmerized by the youngers' voice - of how effortlessly he sang. eyes closed as his head swayed softly to the beat. taehyung could cry at how vulnerable the boy looked. a smile raised to his lips as his face landed on namjoon who was proudly filming the young boy - a big smile on his face.

one day he wanted to be loved and love the way those two loved each other. endlessly.

and as jungkook sang the last note taehyung's gaze returned to his empty phone. the song was too short. taehyung. could listen to jungkook all day, and still never be tired of his voice. so as jungkook forced namjoon to sing a song with him, all taehyung could do was smile. a few more minutes of heaven.








authors note !

this chapter is horrendous im sorry. also, i promise ill update more as soon as my exams are over <3

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