Swallowed in the Sea

What Other People Say

Nobody likes being in pain.

   That's why it is sometimes easier to not know everything because it was easier to be in oblivion. It doesn't hurt being in oblivion.

   However, the issue with oblivion is that you can't live in it forever. Whether you like it or not, the truth was going to present itself in the end. You couldn't outrun it, no matter how fast you are.

I knew that was true.

   The thing is though, humans are willing to do a lot to put off the pain, even if it meant that it would hurt more later on.

That included running from it.

   Someone once said that "Truth is like surgery. It hurts but it cures. A lie is like a painkiller. It gives instant relief, but has side effects forever."

   I knew that was true too. I knew that all too well on a personal level. I adamantly refused to acknowledge it though because I didn't want to be hurt.

At all.

   I would rather live a lifetime of side effects than be in pain. I would rather spend the rest of my life running from pain. I would rather never feel anything again than be in pain.

I refused to be hurt again.

"Time to get up!" Sam's voice came along with knocking on the bedroom door.

   I only groaned and turned onto my other side, pulling the covers over my head. I didn't see why I had to get up, it wasn't like I had somewhere to be. Summer's were made for sleeping in.

"Come on, I made a special birthday breakfast," Sam must have heard my groan, "Let's go, let's go. I want to eat breakfast with you before I leave for work."

   I sighed and threw the covers off of my body, stretching my limbs out before swinging my legs off the side of the bed.

   Sam had shown nothing but kindness towards me since I first started living with her. Even when things slowly started to deteriorate.

Everything started to deteriorate, and of course, it all started with my mother.

   I was surprised that she had even managed to make it through the rehab program and was even more surprised when she managed to stay clean.

For a little while.

For a while, I thought she was actually better.

I was an idiot for believing that. 

   I should have known that it was too good to be true. I should have known and I hated myself for being so trusting. For repeatedly digging myself into these situations.

"Come on Summer! Let's go, let's go!" Sam's voice rang out again and I tiredly rubbed my eyes before grudgingly getting out of bed and heading downstairs.

   Despite Sam's good intentions, she was pissing me off this morning by forcing me to get out of bed for her "special breakfast".

   I was especially irritable lately with Sam cracking down on curfew and rules after she caught me doing something I probably shouldn't have done. Not that I regretted doing it.

   I knew she was only trying to help, I did. I knew she was trying and I knew that she was devastated when she caught me but I didn't want her help.

I accepted help before and it only wound up hurting me in the end.

"Happy Birthday!" Sam greeted me cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen where she was seated.