Swallowed in the Sea

Floating on the River

Perhaps the most difficult part was over. I had said what I wanted to say and in a way, it was very satisfying.

It was the epitome of weights being lifted off my shoulders.

In another sense, I felt unusually alone. It was almost as if the suffocating feeling my mother brought me also brought a twisted feeling of companionship. Without it, I felt abandoned.

That wasn't to say that everything ended the moment I hung up though. Sam made multiple calls to Callie and Arizona for my mother but I refused to speak to her. I spoke to Sam once though my mother was never mentioned throughout our conversation.

After a while, the calls stopped though I did make sure that Sam could still communicate with me. I wasn't cutting ties with her, but our calls were infrequent between her working hours and my school hours.

But I didn't regret any of my actions.

Despite the untrue loneliness, the lightness of everything shone through brightly. I felt as light as a feather and it also seemed like the world was lighter. It seemed like for the first time in a very long time, I could see the beauty in waking up every morning.

Spring was a wonderful season.

After the winter, everything was beginning to grow again and on top of that, the weather was my favourite. I loved it all. From the cooler days that meant that winter was still lingering to the warmer days that meant summer was preparing for its appearance. I didn't even mind the rain too much, having a newfound appreciation for rainy days.

My last week of being grounded went by really fast, but I stuck to some of the rules. I enjoyed doing homework in the living room so the laptop stayed there and with Ila still having another week of her punishment, I didn't have anyone to text or hang out with after school.

"Sam sent some pictures from the wedding," Callie raised her phone slightly as she approached me.

I was seated on the floor with my back leaning against the bottom of the couch. My laptop was open multiple tabs all spilling with information about solipsism. I wouldn't admit it, especially to Alex, but this useless assignment was growing on me. It helped that the topic Alex suggested was actually a pretty great topic to write about.

"Oh...cool," I shrugged indifferently and went back to my work.

"Okay," Callie nodded, "I'm guessing you don't want to see them..."

"I'm good," I said coolly and started deleting some of the tabs that I had already read through.

Gratefully, Callie didn't push me to look at them and instead walked away, letting me focus on my work.

I continued to take notes about solipsism until I remembered that other homework had a greater urgency to be completed. Then I had to reluctantly change tasks.

It was a nice weekend day though. A Sunday to be exact. It was sunny but it wasn't hot and here I was doing homework. It had been tolerable when I enjoyed the homework but now that I didn't, it was hard to ignore the wonderful day that was right in my face.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I decided to channel my inner procrastinator and saved the tabs that I needed before closing everything else on the laptop.

Getting up, I approached the kitchen island that Callie and Arizona were seated at.

"Can we go on a drive?"

~~~

With a gorgeous bouquet of larkspur in one hand and a teddy bear clutched in the other, I quietly made my way through the rows of gravestones before taking a seat in front of the one I was looking for.