𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

SIXTY THREE

"Bucky... Bucky I'm so sorry but please don't shut me out." I hear shuffling on the other end but nothing that indicates he'll speak to me. "I know that you're mad and you have every right to be because I know what I-"

"Mad?" I jump as the door suddenly swings open, "mad? I'm not mad at you Rosalie I'm hurt. I asked you not to go, I told you that I needed you and you said that you wouldn't go and I had to wake up with you gone and to a scrap of paper with sorry written on it?"

"You said you wouldn't go. I told you that we needed you, did you just not care?"

"That is not fair! Of course I care how could you even say that? I love you and Dean more than anything, more than my own life."

"Then why did you go?" I sigh and look down at the hurt in his voice.

"I told you, she needed me-"

"And I told you-"

"It's not the same Bucky, it's not the same because I was coming back, you should know that I'm always going to be here for you, and for Dean. God I'd never leave Dean he's my everything, he's the reason I'm alive and I'd never leave him. But I know the pain Wanda is going through what type of friend would I be if I knew and I didn't even check up on her? What type of a person does that make me especially when I love and care for her so much. I can't just leave the people I love to suffer." I wipe my eyes that had begun to sting and take in a few breaths to try and calm myself down.

"I love you more than anything Bucky but don't you dare ever insinuate that I don't care about you or our son. Not when everything I do is for the two of you."

He sighs and nods, "I know and I'm sorry for saying that but the point isn't that you went to help a friend in need but that you told me you wouldn't go and then left in the middle of the night for me to wake up without you, do you know how worried I've been?"

"All that's been on my mind is you and what if you were hurt or something had gone wrong or anything because you couldn't even be bothered to call or text and at least let me know that you were ok."

"I know, you're right I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done what I did. I know that leaving whilst you were asleep was wrong and so was telling you that I wasn't going to go when I knew that I was."

We both go silent not knowing what to say next as we look at each other, "Mamma you're back!" I grin as Dean runs and jumps in to my arms. "I missed you." He says as he hugs me tightly, "I missed you too baby, but I promised I wouldn't be gone long." I reply kissing the top of his head as I hug him to me my smile falling slightly as I catch Bucky's face still covered in hurt.

"Is aunty Wanda ok now? I tried to keep daddy happy but I think he missed you even more than I did."

"Your dad told me that you kept him very happy so don't worry about it cause I'm back now."

***

"I don't want to argue." Bucky says after we're alone again, "and I don't want to be upset with you not when you've always been so good to me." I stop him there, "hey no you can be upset with me because what I did was wrong."

"But you've never given me grief over the things I did, you never even said anything after finding out that I...killed Howard."

"That's different, because you didn't do that Bucky that was the winter soldier and of course I was upset because... I loved Howard and I didn't want him to die like that not in such a- but I can't blame you for that because you didn't make that decision but I made this one and you can hold me accountable for it."

"I'm just so tired Rose, I just want everything to be ok." I nod as he takes my hand, "I know Bucky and I want to do whatever possible to make that happen but-"

He decides to shut me up by placing his lips on mine, "let's just forget about it doll, I know a much better activity that we'll both enjoy." He smirks as he pulls me under him making me squeal. "Not so loud doll we don't want to wake Dean." He murmurs against my skin before connecting our lips again.

***

"Rose?" I lift my head from Bucky's chest and smile up at him, "can we cut my hair?" I sit up more and smile even more, "are you serious?" His own smile emerges as he nods, "I just want to feel like myself again and this hair is a reminder of..." I kiss his hand as his words trail off and his eyes tear up. "We can cut it, come on."

"You ready?" I ask as I brush through Bucky's hair and smile at him through the mirror he take a breath and then nods. "Don't mess it up."

"If I do we can just shave it all off anyways." I shrug laughing as his eyes go wide and he makes a move to stand up, "hey I'm kidding, I'm kidding have a little faith." I assure him, "that wasn't funny."

"It was to me." I say quickly kissing him before taking a strand and cutting it. "There's no going back now."

***

"Very handsome." I say after I'm done making him beam at me from the mirror as he inspects himself. "Thanks rose you did a great job."

"I am a woman of many talents." I wink making him laugh, "that you are and I find myself loving you more by the day."

"Ok mr sweet talker I'm tired let's go to bed." He grabs a hold of my hand and pulls me into his chest making me giggle, "I love you." He murmurs down at me after brushing his nose against mine. "And I love you."