𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

TWENTY SEVEN

Sam and I had stayed by Steve's bedside as he lay in hospital anxiously waiting for him to wake up, I hadn't left yet, "Rosalie?" I lift my head to look at Sam who was sat across from me, "why don't you head home and relax." I shake my head making the worry on Sams face increase, "I can't- I can't leave him." I say adamantly, Sam sighs but nods he knew it was useless, the longest I had been away was just over an hour, if it weren't for basic hygiene I wouldn't have left at all.

• • •

I was so slouched down in my chair that my back was beginning to hurt but I was just to tired to care or move. "On your left." I hear Steve mumble weakly as my eyes were fluttering shut. My eyes snap open now wide awake as I turn to see him smiling through the pain at Sam.

"Where's Rosie?" He asks immediately making Sam nod over to me "she hasn't left your beside since you came in." Sam informs as Steve pushes himself to turn his head my way."You idiot, you scared me." I say moving my seat closer to his bed, "I'm so glad you're ok." I tell him grabbing onto his hand, he squeezes mine, "you're too good to me." I smile, "well someone has to look after you." Steve was still that reckless kid from Brooklyn that I met all those years ago. "You need to look after yourself." I tell him as I look at the the cuts and bruises, "why would I do that when I have you?" I let out a small laugh and drop my head. "I'm not doing such a good job anymore." I tell him making him wince as he shakes his head.

"Anyways you focus on getting yourself better." I say as I kiss his forehead.

• • •

I didn't leave Steve's side until after he was let out from the hospital, now we were, at a cemetery at Nick's grave. "See you later." I say to Nick after declining going to Europe with him, I was just so tired of fighting I wanted to take a break. "Take care Burns." He nods before he leaves.

Steve and Nat say goodbye to each other before she comes over to me, "you're not going with him." She notes glancing in Steve's direction, "no." I say reluctantly, I felt bad but I wasn't going with him to look for Bucky, I just wanted a break, some time to come to terms with it. "Don't feel bad he'll understand." She assures me. "I know." I say before trying not to think of it, "anyways you? Not going with Nick?" She shakes her head with a small smile, "need to figure out a new cover, there's space for one more." She offers making me smile but shake my head, "tempting but I think I need to sort my head out alone." She nods in understanding, "see you soon?" I nod, "see you soon." I assure as I wrap my arms around her.

After Sam establishes that he'll help Steve find Bucky, I take a step forward, "Steve." I start off regretfully and he looks me in the eyes like he already knows, "I can't." I tell him. "But...he was your everything." I look down at the faded photo as I peer at the file, a small smile appearing as I take in his handsome smiling face, god how I used to love that face. "He was my everything." I repeat in a smaller tone allowing my finger to run over the surprisingly smooth paper.

"What happened?" Looking up my smile drops as reality hits me, "He died." Steve shakes his head, "that- that's not our Bucky." I tell him, "we have to at least try." He was right but I couldn't do it. "I know Steve but I can't, I can't do it not right now, I just- my heads a mess I need time." His face softens and he nods. "Take your time." He tells me, "I'm sorry Steve." He shakes his head again and wraps his arms around me. "Don't be." He assures me and I hugged him just a little tighter for a second.

"I'm gonna miss you. But if you need me for anything I'm only one call away." I tell him and he nods. "Don't be gone too long." I nod, "I know that I can't leave you alone for too long." I say making him chuckle. "See you." Sam nod as I wrap my arms around him too, "it was nice meeting you." He nods, "likewise."

• • •

I find myself back at the Smithsonian I just wanted to see Bucky once more before I left. This time I don't spend hours at his display, just two, I stand there and watch him with tears in my eyes. I close my eyes and sigh as the tears roll. Wiping my eyes I look down one last time to see his smiling face before I turn, I'm ready now.

As I turn around ready to leave my eyes widen as they meet with a hauntingly familiar blue pair, he saw me, I could tell by the way his eyes widened but I quickly turned back around as my cheeks began to heat up. I scurry from his display and run over to the corner when my display was in embarrassment.

I want to turn and see what he's doing but I'm too scared, I'm too nervous and I don't want to scare him off so I stay stood there for I don't know how long with my eyes glued to my own face. "You've been stood here for a long time." I jump as I hear his voice from behind me, I spare him a glance, "what can I say I like the way I look in this picture." I see a flicker of amusement on his face, "it is a nice picture." He hums, "No, I didn't want to scare you off." He spares me a half smile, "you don't scare me." I laugh, "that's good to know."

We settle into a silence for a moment and I sneak another glance and realise why, he was reading all the information about me intently. "T-that's us." He says as the clip of the two of us flashes onto the screen. "Yeah. Did you read the display about yourself?" I ask after a second making him tear his eyes from the screen. To meet mine, he shakes his head, "I'm nervous?" I give him a small smile, "want me to go and read it with you?" I offer, he looks to me surprised, "sure." He says giving me a grateful smile.

I thought that I was supposed to let him go but meeting him again it felt like maybe I wasn't, maybe I was supposed to help him instead.