Shaking the water from my hair, I run a towel through it causing it stick it up on end. It's getting long, I've been due for a haircut but they're not my favorite. I hate sitting there while someone runs their hands through it, pulling parts of it straight to cut. There's always a tug, an overzealous jerk. It's such a mundane thing, everyone gets haircuts but I've been dragged around by the roots of my hair enough that I don't want anyone to touch my head.
It was one of Austin's favorite ways to drag me to the basement, his hand fisted in my hair. The pain in my scalp from the strain the first step to the torture I'd succumb to.
I learned quick not to cry out, it only made him pull harder. Instead I'd wrap my hands around his arm, keeping myself close even though the last place I wanted to be was near him.
They're memories burned so deeply into my mind I can still feel them, I can still smell the cigar infused house and hear the clock that chimed on the hour in the dining room. I can still feel Austin's fingers tangled in my hair, pulling at the roots.
My chest tightens, my thoughts have lingered on him too long, threatening to pull me to the basement. I find the cool granite counter top, placing my hands on the dewy surface as I stare at my foggy reflection in the mirror. I'm all shadows, an indecipherable dark blur in the mirror and as I stand there searching for my brown eyes to appear through the mist I count.
Filling my lungs with air, I count off all of Birdie's things that litter the counter. Her ample supply of hair products to keep her curls the way they are. She's told me before what each bottle is for but it was all lost on me. All I know is that I love her curls and if I have to have a counter full of products for them to be a thing I'm fine with it. She has a cup full of brushes, the tips coated in different hues of brown, another thing I don't get is make up. Her tooth brush that never seems to make it in the drawer lays on the counter beside the towel, a purple bra on the door knob.
I love that my townhouse is filled with Birdie's things.
My lungs let go of a breath, my chest no longer tight, my reflection appearing through the fog until I can see the stubble I need to shave and my messy hair, my cheekbones that I hope aren't protruding more than normal. I let my eyes drift down to my chest, taking note of the hollows in my collarbone as I lean forward in this particular stance. They're deeper then they should be.
I blow out a frustrated breath, kicking the scale out from under the cabinet and step onto it. I watch the numbers dance on the little screen before they stop moving, solidifying that my increase in calories has done nothing. In fact I've dropped another pound.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do to explain this to the team nutritionist. He's always on me about being too thin, my body fat percentage almost to the point of no longer being healthy.
At first it was something he commended me for, back when I first joined the team and was about fifteen pounds heavier. My weight has fluctuated a lot, I'd have moments of time where I was at my goal weight and then something would happen. My anxiety would start to increase and the worse it got the thinner I got it. My lowest was after Drew died, right now, I'm not far off from it.
Scooting the scale back under the counter with my foot, I tighten the towel around my narrow waist and head for the kitchen. I'm not hungry but another protein shake will only help.
As I step into the kitchen, the front door rattles, the noise from outside rushing up the stairway as Birdie's voice follows it.
"I'm home!"
"Kitchen!" I call back.
The blender never gets put away, it's a staple thing in our kitchen and I pull the lid off and start dumping ingredients in. It's a mindless thing, something I do constantly, on a daily basis.
I listen to the sound of Birdie's feet as she skips up the stairs, dropping her things at the top of the stairs.
"How was work?" I ask before I press my finger down on the blend button and anything Birdie might have answered with gets silenced.
Poor timing on my part.
"Sorry." The corner of my mouth lifts into a sheepish grin as I stop the blender.
But she just grins at me, laughter nearly bubbling out of her as she rounds the large island in the center of the kitchen. Her hand finds my bare arm, her touch warm and gentle as she comes up behind me. Curls tickle my shoulder and neck, her arms wrapping around my body, her chin on my shoulder. Honey and lemon reach my senses as my gaze drops to her long slender fingers that are splayed out across my chest.
"This is a nice sight to come home too." She muses, her lips finding the spot just below my jaw that makes my heart pound.
The good kind of pounding.
"Just got out of the shower." I say as if it's not obvious.
My protein shake drops on my list of concerns as Birdie's soft hands trail circles on my skin, her warm lips on my neck, my blood pumping hard through my body.
"Shucks, missed it by a few minutes." Her voice is quiet, a slow sensual tone that does exactly whats she wants it to, all of my thoughts focus right on her.
Her hand grazes the plains of my stomach, reaching lower until she hits the towel I'm wearing. Anticipation floods my body, my lungs sucking in a breath as she traces the line of the towel across my skin.
"Birdie." I breathe her name, my eyes closing as I melt into her touch.
"Holt." She whispers back, warm breath dancing along my neck.
But I can't think of more words as she explores my body, kissing my neck, my shoulder, her hand teasing at the towel, the other on my chest. I want her closer, I want to touch her too.
I find her hand, lacing our fingers and I abandoned the protein shake in the blender as I spin myself in Birdie's arms. Her dark curls are loose, her hazel eyes bright and full of mischief as she looks at me. Her lips parted slightly in a sly smile, a look that is every bit seductive as it is sweet.
Desire has reached every corner of my body, my veins filled with lust as I tangle my other hand in her curls and draw her close.
She is everything.
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Happy new year everyone! I'm very excited to introduce you to a new character so let's double update?
