I took Raf to my parents. I didn't know what else to do.
It was Vida who suggested that Raf stay with them for a few nights. A hopeful attempt at things settling down back at Raf's home and maybe he could go back. I didn't have the heart to break her optimism but I didn't miss Raf's weariness or the look that passed between my parents.
But it was clear that Raf felt like he had nowhere to go. And at least with my parents, he's safe.
It's all I can think about. My mind is desperate for a solution but I can't conjure one up. I just know that Raf can't go back.
Birdie squeezes my arm from the back seat of my moms car as she leans forward. Her curls are wild, full of life and springy as she pokes her head between the seats.
"Are you excited?" She asks.
I nod my head. This is happening but I still find myself hesitant at letting myself believe it is. It probably won't feel real until we're back at home.
We pull into the parking lot of the shelter, the K now let up and already the place feels less questionable. They've were hesitant about letting Navy be adopted, her aloof temperament coupled with the fact that apparently she tried to bite the man that rescued her and Lieutenant multiple times had them against it. They changed their mind after I said I'd make a donation. A sizeable one.
Even though Drew hated it, he was right. Money always talks.
"Ready?" Birdie grins at me, the warmth of her hand leaving my arm and I meet my mom's gaze from across the car.
The smile she gives me is full quiet understanding and love. A comforting smile that I can easily return after all these years.
"Yeah."
The three of us climb out of the car, the breeze warm even though the sky is overcast. I let my mom lead the way, taking Birdie's hand in mine. I shouldn't be so nervous. Nothing's going to go wrong. But I still find myself searching for the things to ground me.
The lobby looks the same, the same woman behind the counter and she gives us a warm smile. I've been here a lot the past several weeks, checking in on Navy, trying to build a relationship with her in just a few short hours. The staff have said more than once that Navy doesn't pay anyone any attention, except for me. Which makes me all the more certain that she's my dog.
The woman leads us through the door to the kennels and my eyes instantly land on the spot where Navy and Lieutenant are, my heart thudding in my chest. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that today is the day I get to bring her home. She passed all of her exams and tests and even though they're hesitant to release her, I have no doubt that Navy and I will make it work. There's something about her.
I squeeze Birdie's hand as we round the corner, the woman chatting with my mom the entire time but I'm unable to speak. Too focused on the fronts of the kennels as we near, waiting to get a glimpse of her. Lieutenant is at the front, his body no longer wrapped, protecting his stitches from his amputation. He's unaffected by his missing leg, his tail wagging happily as he dances around on his three paws.
And there she is, sitting in the back of the kennel, her body pressed against the stone walls but she's looking for me. Her eyes alert and her ears listening and as soon as she spots me her tail wags once.
I grin, dropping Birdie's hand so that as soon as the woman opens her kennel I can go to her. It takes just a moment before the woman is trying to hold back Lieutenant and I slip through the metal gate. Navy watches me, her tail twitching slightly.
"Hey pretty girl." I hum to her. "Ready to go home?"
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We've been home for a few hours when my phone goes off the coffee table. Navy's curled up at my feet, Birdie doing a puzzle on the coffee table as I try to keep my focus on a movie.
I'm trying really hard to give Navy the space she needs to acclimate but I miss having a dog close and it's taking everything I have not to call her onto the couch.
"Hello." I answer the FaceTime.
"Um hello!" Vida's face fills my screen. "That's all you have! Not oh I'm sorry Vida, I didn't fill you in on mom and dads secret!? Or sorry that I lied Vida, that I left you in the dark, that I didn't tell you mom and dad were getting you a dog!"
She's a ball of excitement even as she tries to accuse me of leaving her out.
"I have a dog Holt! Look at him! He's perfect!" The phone screen is a blur, colors and shapes moving wildly about until Lieutenant's face pops into the frame smashed against Vida's. "He's adorable and I love him and I can't believe you didn't tell me what they were planning!"
I smile, warmth filling my chest as I watch my sister. She's bursting with pure joy and love and it's infectious, Lieutenant equally as happy.
"Mom and dad thought it would be better if we didn't completely break Lieutenant and Navy up. This way they still get to see each other." I say.
But really Vida's been wanting a dog of her own for a while. Not that I blame her. Dogs are the best.
"He goes by Lewy now. He loves it! Look at him!" The dog has a wide grin, his tongue sticking out as he tries to lick her where he can make contact. They're chaos in the screen but it's the best kind of chaos.
"I'm glad you're happy." I tell her.
Birdie sits besides me, snuggling close as she watches the screen and I take a deep breath, letting her scent wash over me.
I feel calm. I feel at peace. I feel like maybe I'm almost back to normal. At least right now. I'm sure once my thoughts start to drift I'll be reminded of all things that are worrisome in my life. But right now, in this moment, things seem right.
Birdie laughs as Vida goes scrambling through her house, the background a blur, the clicking of toenails on the wood floor. There's a sound of knocking before she throws a door open.
"Raf!" Vida shouts his name. "Look at my dog! Look at him! Isn't he cute!"
Raf mumbles something that gets lost to Vida's excitement but I take the moment to say hi anyway.
"Vida, can I talk to Raf for a minute?" I ask her.
Her phone shifts hands, her and Raf appearing on the screen but only because Vida's pushed her way into the frame.
"Have your boy chat but we are not done." She jabs a finger at me through the screen. "Also let's take our dogs for a walk tomorrow! It'll be so much fun!"
Birdie smiles, planting a kiss on my cheek before she returns to her puzzle at the coffee table and I focus my attention on Raf.
"How's it going?" I ask.
He shrugs, "it's okay."
"Were you able to talk to your brother or sister?"
His head shakes no. "He picked up when I called so I just hung up."
I can see him try and hide his worry, trying to keep his fears hidden behind an aloofness. I want to reassure him, to tell him that we'll figure something out but I don't even know where to begin, I don't know how to fix this for him.
"Vida invited me to go play basketball with her and some kid named Jack tomorrow." He says, dismissing his worries just like that. "Your parents said it was okay."
Instinctively my eyes dart to Birdie but if she's affected by hearing Jack's name she doesn't show it. Her face relaxed and focused on the puzzle before her.
"Sounds fun." I say. "Vida's got a great shot but she likes to take risks. Keep the ball tight, she's good at stealing it." Raf cocks an eyebrow at me and I shrug. "What?" I ask innocently, "she needs competition".
His lips twitch into a smirk, the confident almost arrogant kid that first walked into the center pissed off at the world flickers in his eyes and he says "I got you".
Maybe I've said too much.
"She's still my sister though. Don't play too rough."
