right now

39

it's a month later and i haven't really seen jacob. we've done some cast interviews but that's the only time I've seen him. xolo and i went to lunch once or twice but his loyalties always landed with jacob. not that him and i have any bad blood... but he wasn't too impressed with jack and i being seen out together early in the morning. i understand what it looks like i do, but i swore to him it wasn't what everyone was saying.

my new song what other people say (the one by demi lavato) comes out today and i was super nervous. the song was kinda about some feelings i haven't opened up about to anyone yet. obviously the boys kind of know now since theyve heard the song but i was nervous for the reaction.

I'm currently on the supergirl set. we were on lunch break right now and i was way too nervous to eat

"you okay?" chris (wood) asks as he sits down beside me at the table with some of the cast as well

"I'm just nervous for this new song" i say as i scroll through my phone

"everyone loved your last one, you'll be fine" melissa says as she smiles

not even five mintues later i get a call from jack

"ADA ARE YOU READY?" he yells as all the boys stand behind him making me laugh

"I'm shitting my pants but yeah I'm ready" i say laughing

i looked at the time and it was 12:00 on the dot

"YEAHHH" i hear the boys scream on the other side of the phone. at this moment i felt nothing but blessed. my entire music career is literally thanks to them and they do nothing but continue to support me

"ok we need to listen to it" melissa says as she pulls out her phone

"absolutely not" i say

"come on why not" she says

"thank you guys so much i love you all but i need to go" i say looking at my phone

"by adz we love you too" jack says and then hangs up

"you can listen but not infront of me. i hate listening to my songs" i say laughing a bit

"i guess i get that. i hate watching back any movie or tv show I'm in" chris says

"okay then go go" melissa says as she pulls up the song making me laugh. i get up and head to my dressing room. i don't have a scene to shoot until later but I'm helping behind the scenes soon

-

after work the entire cast split into different ubers and headed back to the hotel

"ada your songs on my playlist" nicole says smiling

"mine too" melissa says

"awe guys" i say

suddenly my phone starts ringing and it was kelli. i assumed it was to talk about the song but it wasn't

"hey" i say as the car goes silent so i can take this call

"can you be in LA by tomorrow at 1" she says

"uh no I'm in Vancouver right now, were filming all week" i respond

"theres a new netflix show brewing. mindy kaling is the writer and personally asked for you to audition for the main role" kelli says

"i- i mean I'm honored but i really have to be here in Vancouver" i say

"ok i understand. tell you what I'm gonna give mindy a quick call and see if we can work out a different date. I'll call you right back" kelli says

"alright bye" i say hanging up

-

when i got to the hotel all i did was wait for kelli's call. i don't even know what this show is about or the character she wants me to plays name but this is a really good opportunity. when i started acting the first thing kelli told me was that the way good actors dry out is they stick to what they know. they don't take new opportunities because they think they'll be too busy or it'll be too stressful. no actor really balances two shows because it's too much but I'm willing to do it if i like this role

*ringing*

"hey" i say

"okay so... she's willing to do a facetime call for your audition" kelli says

"oh my god" i say smiling

"i sent you an email with the script and more about the role your going out for, dylan rhode" she says

"is the call at 1?" i say

"yes, your just going to have to make that work. she knows you'll be on set so shell make it short and easy" kelli says

"okay thanks so much kel" i say

"no problem honey. and congrats on your new song I'm really proud of you" she says making me smile

"thank you" i say

"alright well you should read that script and try to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow night" she says and then hangs up

i quickly open the email and read more about dylan. the shows called "would you rather" it's just about a highschool girl and all the things highschool girls go through. and theres a love interest obviously. it looked pretty interesting, I'm excited to talk to mindy more about it. (yes i know the main characters name is actually devi but i changed it)

i took about two hours and read the script and studied the character but it was now 2am and i knew i needed sleep so i called it a night.

before going to sleep i scrolled on my phone and looked at everyone talking about the song. i think this one reached a bigger audience cause it was more adult like. the last one was about teenage girl heartbreak but this one was just about life and everyone ever can relate to it's message. it's about fitting in cause you're scared to really be yourself and being influenced by the people around you.

everyone seemed to love it, obviously theres still some haters but oh well. I'm saving my second song and releasing it later.

I've gotten loads of congratulations messages from everyone i love. everyone except jacob. even ethan sent me a quick text saying he liked it.

I'm too tired to overthink why jacob hasn't reached out so I'm just going to bed.