The Aftermath Jean x Pieck

Memory

Pieck quietly placed the food on the table beside Jean's bed. She made sure her footsteps wouldn't make a sound so as not to awaken Jean. As she was opening the door, Jean called her.

"Yes Jean. Do you want me to help you with the food?" She casually said.

"I thought of you last night." He said. Pieck turned red because of what he said. She couldn't answer. Her heart is beating fast as she anticipated what he has to say.

"You left me in the garden. I was looking for you." He said. Pieck was dismayed thinking that he remembered her because he needed her to help him get back to his room.

"I can't stop thinking of what happened the night before the rumbling." Jean said looking at her in the eye.

Pieck's cheeks turned vermillion, her hands felt numb. "Why am I feeling this? Am I ashamed of what happened on that night? Does this leave me helpless in front of him?" She thought. She did not know how to respond to what he's saying. "I shouldn't have let my attraction to him overtake me. Now, I am in the middle of shame. What would he think of me?" She can't help worrying.

"Forget about it. It's nothing. It happened because we both thought we'll die of the rumbling." She said coldly just to dismiss the conversation. She did not want it to go anywhere else. If she could forget what happened between them, she would since she felt that Jean really cared for Mikasa. 

She thought that Jean would wait for Mikasa until her heart is healed and ready to love him. She felt terrible just thinking that she made a fool of herself. She wanted to appear as if she's not affected by emotions rather she's driven by duty. "I have no time to think of how I feel." She thought, telling herself that she needed to appear strong and composed in front of Jean.

Jean was aghast with her answer. She left without even letting him speak. He felt disappointed seeing that what happened between them meant nothing to her. "Forget about it." What she said kept ringing in his head. He was always in his mind since he woke-up. He was sure that she liked her in return, but her words said otherwise. 

The night before the rumbling Jean was in the forest with everyone---Hange, Levi, Mikasa, Gabi, Falco, Yelena, General Magat, Reiner, Armin, Annie, Connie and Pieck. Jean engaged into a heated conversation with Reiner remembering how Marco died because of Reiner. He couldn't accept the fact that they needed to join hands with Marleyan warriors in order to stop the rumbling.

Jean ran away in the forest. He ran and did not stop until he found an abandoned cabin. He couldn't take his mind off the terror that he's feeling because of the rumbling that's about to happen. "When will the killing ever stop?" He thought to himself. He punched a tree until his knuckles were already bleeding. But this did not take away the burden he's feeling. He wanted to exhaust his strength. He wanted to release the tension in his mind. He found an axe at the back of the cabin. He carried  on his shoulders a huge chunk of wood and chopped them. He displaced his anger on the firewood. Until he felt blood rushing down from his knuckles. He stopped to find bandage for his knuckles. As we was about to enter the cabin, he felt someone was watching him. He spotted the cart titan sillily hiding behind the tall trees.

"What the heck Pieck. You think I can't see you behind that small tree? I am not riding that cart titan's mouth ever again. I'm not coming back with you." He said yelling.

He forgot that he's knuckles were bleeding and got the axe to continue what he was doing.

Pieck couldn't take her eyes off him. She's looking at his face. "He's even more handsome when he's working." She thought. She turned her gaze to his arms. His muscles were hard.