Chapter 21 - The Phone Call

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Authors note: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.....

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"What's wrong Baby?" Louis asked, his voice barely hiding the anxiety he was feeling. Harry was off- he had been for the past week. His usual energy had deteriorated, the joy that always seemed to light up his eyes had dulled and the green seemed to be muted and empty.

Louis had tried to talk, but it had only seemed to distance him further. He was trying, but for reasons Louis didn't know, nor understand, Harry was pushing him away.

"Nothing." Harry muttered, pulling away as if he'd been physically harmed when Louis reached to touch him.

"Well thats bullshit. You pulled away." He whispered, dropping his eyes so he was staring at the floor. "What have I done?" He asked, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and wringing his hands until they turned an angry red. Harry didn't seem to notice.

"It's not a conversation we should have in front of the others Louis. Just drop it." Harry snapped, none too gently.

Louis thought it would've been better if he'd slapped him. His gut was churning, a sickening feeling settling in his stomach as he played with a loose thread on his sleeve, doing everything in his power to restrain himself from reaching out to him.

"We'll give you some space." Liam hinted, pulling Zayn up and dragging him out the dressing room. Niall followed briskly after them, guitar in hand, closing the door gently after them with a faint click.

"Well, they're not here anymore." He stated rather unhelpfully. "Do you want to tell me why you're mad at me?" Louis asked, throwing himself onto the now unoccupied sofa. 
Harry stayed standing, pacing back and forth on the other side of the room.

Harry was moving his hands quickly, signing, Louis realised with a jolt. He tried to focus, wracking his brain to remember the gestures but came up empty, they weren't ones that he used often and Louis silently cursed himself for not keeping up with the language after the band had split.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this." Harry admitted finally, tipping his head back, as if refusing to let the tears threatening to escape fall.

"Take what?" Louis asked cautiously, avoiding eye contact by any means necessary.

"This," Harry hissed, gesturing around the room. "We have to hide all the fucking time. We've finally found each other again and it's like nothing has fucking changed. I've been through hell Louis. Absolute fucking hell, and we're still stuck. We're still in a situation where I can't touch you in public, where I can't hold your hand in the street and I hate it. I love you too much. It's something that my Mum has told me before: I fall hard and I fall quickly. And I've fallen for you Louis, but you haven't caught me. They know about me, but even in your solo career, you were never honest. What's the point in making music if you cant be honest Louis?"

Louis was speechless. His head was turning with so many things left unsaid. He known Harry was off, but... not about them. He'd thought that maybe there was something he wasn't telling him, medical things... it hadn't crossed his mind that maybe Harry wasn't happy in their relationship.

"And you! I saw the photos Louis. Maybe if Eleanor makes you so fucking happy when you see her you should date her instead. It would save you a lot of hassle." He added bitterly, collapsing against the wall as he dropped his head into his hands.

"What the fuck Harry? I don't even know what to say-" Louis caught himself, abruptly shifting before speaking again. "You're jealous? But why? You know I only want you. Why the fuck would I want to date her. It's a stunt Harry! None of that is real. This-" he gestured between them. "This is real!"

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