I feel ugly
I feel fat and unworthy
I hate this feeling
I hate knowing that what I feel is wrong
I love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach
I love the pride I get every-time I break a record
I wish I could just be healthy because I know I'm not
But all I think about is how No-one will like me if I look like this
But every time I see a woman my size or bigger I genuinely think they're gorgeous
I hate the fact I hate myself enough to want to change this bad.
I know I'm not "bad" enough to cause concern in normal people.
And its sad I feel like I want to get to the point that people finally praise my looks.
The point people tell me to eat more not less.
To have people tell me to take care of myself for the opposite reason they say that now.
I just feel like its a nonstop battle in my head of
Stop eating and no thats bad eat something
I feel like I'm at a standstill.
Both guns locked and loaded just aimed.
Now we need to make our way through this god damn minefield
And I want the worst thing to happen.
But I cant let it.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of A Broken Girl
PoetryWARNING this is my safe-space. Please understand I've written these over years. Im not a freshman in high-school anymore so I like to think it gets less cringe. But welcome to my mind.
