I just want you to follow through, be consistent in my life, maybe notice things about me. You notice what turns me on and off, but you don't notice how hurt I get when you bail on plans, or how I get ready and wait for you to never text me. You say things that make me believe you want more from me than just sex, but in the end and deep down I know thats false hope. You dont see me as someone to have a future with, you see me as the girl you can call whenever you're bored or down. Im just the girl who can lift up your self esteem and be there if you need a lay. So if this is so true why do I let you build my hopes up of you being the one for me. I want you to want me the same way but you never will. So stop joking around and saying things like you want to marry me. Just be blunt with me and break my heart once and for all. Its more cruel to give me hope and break me every couple months or weeks or days. So please just rip off the band aid and I'll be okay with it, I just want you in my life, so you can take advantage of that if you just be honest. Don't give me hope. Its a dangerous thing for me. Just admit you only want sex or start trying.
I cant keep doing this. But I will and we both know it.
I cant help that my type is you to a tee, an asshole who has a good heart, a dickhead who can make me feel so happy by a smile, a fucker who can break my heart and get away with it.
So this cycle continues and we can stay on this merry go round for a while, because you bring me so much joy that I forget about the pain.
You are my addiction.
But theres no rehab in the world that could get me unhooked from your toxic love.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of A Broken Girl
PoetryWARNING this is my safe-space. Please understand I've written these over years. Im not a freshman in high-school anymore so I like to think it gets less cringe. But welcome to my mind.
