The Oldest Nara: Kakashi x Reader

26: Good Morning

I had woken up long before the sun. And as its light finally began to peek through my bedroom window, I rolled over to look at the man lying next to me.

Kakashi and I didn't speak much last night once we ate and settled in. It seemed both of us were feeling worn down.

I watched him sleeping peacefully for a moment. His soft, even breaths were so soothing to me. In a world that became more chaotic with every second, he was my stability.

He was the only thing left that made any sense. He anchored me as the tides tried to suck me in further to the darkness. And yet, he lifted me up as my past lives clawed at me to return to their depths.

I wish he understood that. I wish he understood how much his thoughtless words caused me to ache.

"Good morning," he mumbled out in a soft huff as a smile crossed his still sleep-filled expression.

I smiled back at him before gently running my hand through the soft hair that fell down across his face, "Good morning."

His eyes were gentle and welcoming as he stared at me. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at him without feeling completely breathless.

"It doesn't look like you slept much," he whispered.

"I didn't."

"Why not? Is everything ok?"

I caressed his cheek, trailing my hand across his face before brushing my thumb gently across his lips.

"Why don't you trust me?" I finally mustered up the courage to ask even though it was through a hollow voice.

He sighed before closing his eyes, "I do trust you, Y/n."

I rested my hand lightly on his neck, worried that if I broke a part my touch he would disappear right before my eyes.

"Then what happened in Tsunade's office? Why didn't you say anything?" I couldn't stop the desperation rolling off my tongue.

I knew it was first thing in the morning and he had literally just woken up. But this was consuming me. I had to talk about it before I imploded.

"Why are you still so upset over Itachi?"

I nodded slowly at his words, thinking that maybe I could finally piece together all of his concerns.

"Just because I'm not in love with him, doesn't mean I've stopped caring about him."

"How could you care about him? After all he's done..." he trailed off.

"Kakashi, we were kids. What are you saying?"

"But you aren't kids now. And he's still doing terrible things. What about all the people he continues to hurt?"

I shook my head, my voice barely squeaking out of my throat, "I don't know."

"Think about Sasuke. Gaara. All the people whose names we'll never even know."

"What Itachi has done does not rid the Leaf Village of our own crimes. Crimes no one seems ready to own up to."

"Do you wish things could've been different?"

I studied him closely as he broke eye contact, his eyes locked emptily onto the sterile, white sheets.

"Are you asking if I wish the entire Uchiha clan would've never been slaughtered by my best friend?"

He shook his head, "No. We all wish that. I'm asking if you wish things would be different so that you could've ended up with Itachi."

I let out a deep breath as it finally all started to make sense. He thinks I'm only with him because I couldn't be with the actual love of my life.

I couldn't blame him for wondering, for having his own insecurities, but oh how wrong he was.

"W-why—" I started but he cut me off.

"Are we only together because you can't be with Itachi? Would you be with him, if things were different? Would I even have a chance?"

His eyes were still avoiding mine, but his voice sounded as though I had already broken his heart. Like he already knew exactly what I was going to say, and my answer would mean the end of this. Because who would ever want to be second best?

But that's not what Kakashi was.

Not even close.

I moved my hand to grab his, intertwining our fingers, "I would've found you in any and every lifetime, Kakashi. I have no doubt about that."

He finally looked up at me, the pain on his face slowly taking new form as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Itachi was my first love, I won't ever deny that. But after knowing this feeling with you, you are the only one I'm supposed to end up with."

"I'm upset because Itachi deserved more in this life, but that fact doesn't change a single thing about us.
I'm sorry if I ever gave you any reason to doubt."

He quickly leaned in, taking my face in his hand, and laid his lips on mine. They were salty with tears and overheated from the anticipation that had been surging through him.

He rested his forehead on mine after leaving a few more overwrought kisses, his breath thick and heavy as he stayed there.

"I didn't hesitate because I'm not sure if I trust you or not. I know I trust you. Completely," he explained. "I hesitated because those were the thoughts running through my head."

"I didn't expect you to still be so angry, and I didn't understand why. Still, I should've supported you. You should never have to doubt if I have your back. I'm sorry."

I smiled softly as he spoke. I wasn't mad or upset, just relieved we were finally on the same page. I knew this wouldn't be easy with him.

I knew we'd have some much to figure out as we both entered our first, somewhat normal relationship. And I was more than willing to put in the effort. Just as long as he was too.

After this, I actually only had more confidence in that. We were here for the long haul, and it soothed me.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked in a sweet tone.

"On one condition," I teased.

"You and your conditions," he laughed. "What is it this time?"

"Do you remember seeing me right before I left the village with Naruto and Jiraiya? We were outside the hospital."

"Mm, I remember," he smiled at me.

"Well, it's been almost 3 years since then, and you've still never taken me on that date," I smirked.

As crazy as it was, it was true. We've been bonding over missions and injuries and training. Never a proper date... The only time we ever went out was with a Asuma and Kurenai that once.

Being a shinobi, we never really had time to ourselves.

The sound of his low chuckle made my stomach flutter. He leaned in a bit closer, "Like I said then, I don't remember ever asking you on a date."

I bit my lip as my heart began to race. I couldn't believe he still remembered that conversation as well as I did.

I shrugged as I spoke in a flirty voice, "You asked me to dinner. Same thing."

He pulled me in for another short kiss, smiling through it all, "You busy tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? What about tonight?" I pouted playfully.

He licked his lips gently, "I have other plans for us tonight."