Drugs & Candy

Chapter Eighteen

October 8th 2013

Following Jack's plan, we started off in Adventureland. It's not too incredibly hot, thank god but standing in the lines under the sun has me red already which has Jack laughing at me. I forgot sunscreen. Of course I did.
After the Jungle Cruise followed immediately with Indiana Jones, he popped into one of the mini gift shops to get me some.
"Thanks." I mutter as he rubs the spf on the back of my neck while I get some on my face and arms. He puts some on himself too, but he tans more than he burns. Lucky asshole. Still, protection from the sun is key.
From there, we get Dole Whips, because how do you not? It's a crime not to.
"Pirates?" He smiles at me.
I grin at him right back, "Uh duh. I'd live on that ride if I could." So he takes my hand and leads me to that line. I always appreciate this line because A, we have fast passes for every ride we go on and this fastpass line goes the fastest of all, and B, most of the line is inside out of the sun, and it's cool in there. 
Once we're actually on the ride, and Davy Jones starts speaking, I'm mouthing along with the words while Jack is fighting back laughing at me. The drop isn't high at all but it's unexpected as the ride is completely dark, not to me, but to him who doesn't come to Disneyland much. He lets out a small yelp which has me blushing at how cute he is.
I kiss his cheek and hold his hand while we both laugh at the ridiculousness of the ride.
To anyone who's never been on Pirates, it's a must. The smell is incredible and it's one all of it's own. I'm not sure what the hell they do to the water or if it's just old or something, but it smells incredible and everyone who's been on the ride knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's almost orgasmic to me for lord knows what reason, but I don't bother trying to figure it out.

Jack and I squint a little as we walk back out into the sun hand in hand, "Mint Julep Bar?" I smile.
Jack nods "Haven't been there before."
I gasp "How? The juleps are so damn good, I can drink like thirty. Sadly non alcoholic, but I'll survive. Their beignets are killer too, so we're definitely getting those..." I ramble excitedly as we walk there.
I sigh as we once again get in line and lay my head on his shoulder.
He smiles and kisses my head, putting his arm around my waist. The touch alone makes me smile, it's nice to feel like we're a real couple. It's what I wanted for so long, and now we're finally here. "I love you." I say quietly, nuzzling my face against the soft spot on his neck where it meets his shoulder, my forehead tucked under his jawline. It's my favorite spot on him. I snuggle it, I kiss it, I bite it. That's my spot.
"I love you too Alex" He squeezes me a little and I feel warm inside. I haven't felt warm inside in well....Ever. 
I lift my head as the line moves up and fix my ears which went crooked from my snuggling, the warm sun making me sleepy. 
"Wake up sleepyhead." Jack smiles at me and my tired eyes.
I blush a little at the cuteness of him, "It's the sun. It's so warm and you're so comfortable." I pout.
Jack smirks "That and the fact that if you so felt like it, you could lay your head back down and be asleep in about three seconds. I swear I don't understand how you can fall asleep anywhere, anytime so quickly." He keeps his arm around my waist, linking his thumb through my belt loop.

The line eventually leads us to the front and I order three mint juleps because they're small and I know I'll finish them all, and Jack follows suit just because he can. We get our beignets and take a seat at a table with an umbrella.
"Game plan?" I ask, looking around as I pop the sweet treat in my mouth.
Jack smirks at me.
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing."
I glare "What?"
He gets up, comes around the table and licks my lips before kissing them, "You had powdered sugar on your lips." He sits back down in his seat.
"Oh, well thank you for cleaning me up." I laugh a little, "Game plan. Go."
Jack opens up the app again and looks at the map.
"Okay, so Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, I mean there's the Winnie The Pooh ride if you wanna ride that," He smiles wide when I nod my head, probably looking like an excited three year old, "Davey Crockett canoes?" I nod at that too, "Okay and then the Mark Twain Riverboat? I like that one." He smiles.
I smile back, "Okay cool. Eat lunch after?"
Jack nods, "Definitely, so we can eat lunch at The Golden Horseshoe? Then Big Thunder Mountain Railroad?"
I nod "Cool. Sounds good. We'll figure the rest out from there."

That's how our day goes, we have it meticulously planned out, and it works quite well in our favor because we're not going back and forth all over the place. As chaotic as I am, and how easily I'd be running from one end of the park to another just to do what rides I want in the order that I want them, I appreciate Jack's calm, organized collectiveness. It saves time, energy and it gives us time in between each thing to just be us. To relax. 

After Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, we head back towards the castle. Because we're cheesy, we get the fancy Disneyland classic picture of us in front of the castle kissing, pay the $20 for it and get our little stub to pick up the printed copy when we leave the park. Then because we're just cute, we ride the carousel, earning some odd looks from the parents of young children who are watching two grown men having the time of their lives, kissing and holding hands as they ride on the horses next to each other.
Oh well. They can suck my left nut. 
We get off the carousel and walk around the area a little, just admiring it all. The magic of this place is astounding.
People say that you grow out of things like this when you grow up, that you stop feeling the magic, but not here. It's in the air.
When I'm here, I feel nothing but joy, like I'm not on earth any longer. I'm in this entirely new world on an entirely new planet, one that's filled with song and laughter, joy and happiness. The environment gives me that excited feeling in my chest and the happy feeling in my gut. No one truly grows out of magic. This place proves it. 
Jack takes notice of me in my deep thought and pulls me in for a hug, my head against his shoulder.
I hug him back with a happy smile, looking up at him to see him smiling right back. He looks so happy. This is the look I've been wanting to see out of him and I finally have it. I'm cherishing it.
I get my phone out, turn the camera on and kiss him, taking a picture right at that time.
He laughs "You're so cute." He kisses my nose.
I grin "I just love you." I could say those three words over and over again like a broken record and they'd never lose their meaning.
"I just love you too." The tone of his voice is smooth and sweet, like caramel. The words stick in the best ways, leaving an aftertaste that has me wanting more. 
I lay my head back down on his shoulder and rest there for a moment, feeling safe and comforted. Not that I need the comforting exactly, but he is my comfort. He knows me. 
After a few minutes I sigh and look up at him again "Snow White?" 
Jack nods "Snow White. Game plan." He smirks and pulls the map up again.
"So we did the carousel. So Snow White, Pinocchio, Dumbo, Mr Toad, Peter Pan, Teacups? Then from there we can do the Matterhorn and go down to Astro Blasters and Space Mountain?" He asks, tilting his head to the side as he examines the map.
"You're so organized." I shake my head with a little laugh, "But yes. Perfect plan." 

We manage that smoothly, we both vehemently say hell fucking no to Small World because we don't hate ourselves and we find ourselves back by the castle for the parade and the fireworks show after.
"Ooo!! Cotton Candy!" I shout excitedly, staring at the cart from my spot on the side. 
Jack grins at me, kisses my cheek and goes to buy me some.
He comes back with pink for me, blue for him.
I'm sticky as I eat it, swapping colors with him, watching the parade with the excitement of a toddler. 
I look at him with a piece of cotton candy in my mouth, I take some off of his and put it in his mouth, then kiss him, leaving us with sweet, sticky mouths.
"You are so cheesy." Jack shakes his head, amused and looking like he wants to just marry me on the spot. I wouldn't say no.
Again, I'm hasty. He would never.
"I am, but it's better than grumpy and desperate right?" I ask, referring to the way I was when all I wanted was to get high.
Jack nods "Much better than grumpy, snarky, arrogant, desperate and kind of a prick." He smirks.
I roll my eyes "Yeah, yeah. Whatever sticky." I kiss him again. 
Then the fireworks start and I'm lost in the dazzle.
The twinkling lights in the darkness as they flicker down, followed by another large boom in the air, showering the sky with multicolored facets of glitter and gold, stunning me with beauty. The tears in my eyes as I bathe in the light has me confused. Why am I crying?
Really...Why am I crying?
Jack pulls me quietly out of the crowd and wraps his arms around me tight, I don't realize how hard I'm crying until I feel his vice grip against me and my body convulsing against him, then the choked out sobs register in my head.
"Alex...Hey...Talk to me, what's wrong?" Jack asks quietly, rubbing my back.
I shake my head quickly, trying to find a way to stop the tears, let alone a way to explain anything.
So he lets me cry for a while.
"Learning how to feel again is overwhelming." I finally whisper.
I figured that much out in my head.
Fireworks and magic and a fancy parade shouldn't make me as emotional as it does with the simplicity of it all, but when that brightness lit up the sky, I felt everything all at once. An explosion in my chest, another explosion in my brain at the same time as the next batch of fireworks were deployed into the air.
"What do you mean?" He asks, and not in a Jack the therapist kind of way either. He's not trying to psychoanalyze me right now. 
"I don't know." I sigh, my face once again pressed to my favorite spot on his neck while he rubs my back absentmindedly, waiting for me to explain more.
I think about it, "Nothing made me feel anything Jack...And now everything makes me feel something...I'm learning it all over again, what truly feeling something is like...True sadness, anger, frustration, happiness...All of it. It's overwhelming." I hope I'm making any semblance of sense.
Jack stays quiet for a moment, tracing circles against my back with his finger "How do you feel right now?"
I sniffle a little, "I feel really happy. I'm crying because I'm happy." I look up at him, like a lost puppy. 
Jack smiles his sweet close mouthed smile at me, cups my face in his hands and gently wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
I tilt my head against his hand, closing my eyes.
Jack kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around my waist again, my arms go up around his neck.
"I'm happy that you're happy." His tone is so pure, I picture a hot cup of tea in front of a fireplace when I hear the tone he's using right now, it's relaxing. It calms my overstimulated nerves immediately.
"I'm always happy with you." I say quietly.
Jack kisses me, and as if fate meant for my happiness to all tie together, the fireworks finale begins.
I kiss him back tenderly, smiling when he turns me around so my back is pressed against his chest, my head against his shoulder as we both watch the final waves of magic exploding in the air. 

(AN:// I included a video of some Disneyland fireworks for you all to enjoy <3)