I burn you? You melt me // Dreamnotfound //

Chapter 24

"Clay, your boyfriend's here! Unlock the door!"

The blonde jumped up in his bed. He shook his head, got up and opened the door. His mom was standing right in front of him. Her facial expression changed quickly as she looked at her son.

"Clay? Are you feeling well? You look a bit pale." she said as she placed her hand on the blonde's forehead trying to feel his temperature.

The tall boy took his mother's hand off him and walked around her. There, at the top of the stairs he stood, George. He had a cute smile on his face and wore an oversized hoodie.

"George!" shouted Clay as he put his arms out to hug the shorter guy.

He heard his mom giggle behind him. The boys started to blush as they let go of each other. "So, why are you here?" asked Clay.

George looked over to his mom for a second. The mother put her hands up, "Oh, sorry! I'll go downstairs and leave you two alone."

The brunet giggled as he awkwardly moved aside so Clays mom could go down the stairs. The blonde grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his bedroom. "Why are you here?"

"I can't just come over?"

"N- no I don't mean it like that.. It's just early and random.."

George sat down on the bed, "Do you remember what happened last night?"

Clays eyes widened, "Eeh, sorry. I was thinking about texting you but-"

"No that's fine. Nick already texted me then and you guys know I don't like parties."

Clay nodded shyly. The brunet stood up and hugged his boyfriend again, "Ugh, John is such an asshole. Why'd he punch you in the face like that, didn't he like you?"

The blonde turned red and stuttered a bit. The brunet comforted him as he let his fingers go over his boyfriend's face. He touched his nose.

"Aah!"

"Does that hurt?"

"Well, yeah!"

George bit his teeth together, "Oh, my poor baby." he said giggly.

The blonde laughed, "I- I'm fine.."

The brunet sat them down on the bed to get cuddly. He snuggled up next to the taller boy and held hands. "But why did he punch you? 'Cause he seemed to like you."

Clay felt that horrible feeling of guilt again. His stomach started aching and his head started pounding. He groaned as he placed his hands on his head.

"Clay? I'll get you some water, don't worry!"

The brunet ran to the bathroom and filled a cup. He handed it to his boyfriend.

"Thanks.."

"What the hell happened to you? Nick told me you drunk a bit but you seem like you drunk a lot."

Clay drunk a lot, indeed. But he somehow remembered everything. He remembered the moment he didn't think and the moment his thoughts came back. Everything replayed in his head. The bathroom, the door, the lock, Schlatter.. the way they almost kissed. Almost.

Thank god John had punched him, he did good. He didn't deserve what he got.. and now George. George deserved to know the truth. Clay sighed, "George.. I need to tell you something.."

"Tell me."

The blonde looked over to his boyfriend. He leaned against him, their hands and eyes locked.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"Hmh, what did Schlatter do?"

Clay looked away softly, "He didn't do anything, I did."

"..What did you do then?"

The blonde avoided eye contact. He felt embarrassed, he felt disappointed in himself. Now he was going to disappoint George. He tried thinking properly to choose his words wisely. He didn't feel anything for John, he was just attracted.

He just.. wanted a kiss.. and maybe more? No- no he didn't and he won't say that. There's no need to say that. He'll say what happened. Just what had occurred, what Schlatter begged him to say in the circle that night when Clay chose to be selfish.

He squeezed his eyes shut, "I- I tried-"

"What?"

"I tried to kiss him."

"..."

The blonde exhaled as he opened his eyes. Silence, a painful silence. "G- Georg-"

"Don't talk to me."

Clay pulled the brunet back as he tried to walk away, "George, we didn't actually kiss! He punched me to keep me back! I promise I don't have feelings for him, I was fucking drunk, w- which is still not an excuse but- "

The blonde's heart shattered as he saw a tear roll over George's face. His voice got softer as he wiped the tear with one finger, "George.. I'm sorry.."

The brunet sniffed, "Why didn't Nick tell me this last night?"

"B- Because he didn't know.."

The brunet confusedly looked up. Clay explained how Nick and Luke thought Schlatter just wanted to fight. He explained how Schlatter begged Clay to tell them what happened and.. how they didn't believe him.. and how he got beat to the ground.. for no reason.

"I'm glad he punched you, you deserve it." said the brunet as he looked away betrayed.

Clay nodded, "Y- Yeah, I'm a dick."

George sighed, "But.. why did you try to kiss him? Why didn't you call me?"

"I was considering it but.. I just wanted to drink that night and I know you don't like drinking an-"

"But why couldn't I be just there as in, just be with you. We don't both have to drink to have fun."

Clay looked down, "I- I was just feeling different.."

He saw George flinch as he said that. "Do you feel different about me?" asked the brunet. The tall boy faced him, "What? Of course not! I- I still love you George! So, so, so much."

He leaned in for a hug. The brunet didn't move a muscle. Clay buried his face in George's shoulder, "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry.."

Clay felt movement. He felt George's hands go over his back. He heard the brunet's soothing voice, "It's okay.."

The tall guy pulled back calmly, "R- really?"

"I guess we just need some distance."

Clays mouth hung open as he looked at his boyfriend. What have I done, he thought to himself. George looked pale, paler than him. The blonde looked at their hands who weren't intertwined anymore. The brunet's hands were shaking. Clay grabbed them and softly stroke them with his thumb.

George didn't look at Clay, Clay looked at George. He saw his boyfriend's red, watery eyes and the dry lips. He saw the short boy shivering. He felt bad, really bad. George was so fragile and Clay broke him.

He promised himself to be careful. He promised himself to protect George.. but from what? How couldn't he see he was both the healer and the hurter. He was both the shield and the arrow. A tear rolled down his face too now. He failed.

The short boy tried to speak but no words came out of his mouth. It were unfamiliar noises, his voice sounded like glass, clear and sharp. "I think I'll go back home, now." he finally said.

Those words hurt Clays ears, "What?"

"I'll see you later."

The brunet got up. His boyfriend tried to follow but couldn't, he froze. Clay couldn't move anything but his eyes. He watched how George left.

His heart shattered even more. He finally defrost and stood up but held himself back. "N- no.. I can't hurt George anymore." he whispered to himself.

Clay let himself fall on the bed. He rolled over and put a pillow over his face. "I love you, George, I'm so sorry.."