𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙐𝙨

(38.6) Appetence

Ignore the .6, it's just how many time I rewrote this chapter LMAO

I'm posting the Erenxreader soon! Save it so you get updates of when the first chapter is out :) I'm so excited for it, it's gonna be great.

I love you, drink water, eat, and take care of yourself!

***

She came back to me.

I never gave in to those stupid cliches; the ones that say, "If you love them, let them go. But if they come back it's meant to be so hold them tight." I've let plenty of people go, turned my back on them cause I didn't give a shit.

But when she left, it was different.

Working alone was my thing, I have it all.

When you're the best, you got everything. Got everyone behind your back, telling you you're gifted. Makes you believe that you can take on the world with your bare hands, even if it meant sacrificing the simple act of having a kind heart to people.

Being the best and wanting to be the best turned into two different things for me.

People constantly expecting you to stay composed, not lose your shit. It was like saying "no pressure" but only adding more.

So I used my strength as a wall, protected everyone, not from the villains but from myself. Cause if I let a person in they'd just realize how my ego was just a way to hide the fact that I felt like I was getting weaker each day I walked into a class full of people with the same dream as me.

I walked into that classroom each day with the fear of not being enough, being surpassed, but when I saw her, I realized the emptiness sitting in me from when she left. Noticed how I let myself slip into these holes of weakness.

And I had enough of that because somehow I had something new to drive my motivation, something to look after.

It was her.

When we spoke for that first time, I pushed myself not to smile, pretended like the past behind us wasn't there and it was for her sake. Because somehow, I thought she was happier without me.

She had a boyfriend, made a life somewhere else that seemed way more fucking interesting than the one she would have had with me, with us, if she stayed.

But when talking to her, it was the complete opposite.

Growing up with her was different.

Once, she had a foolish mind, a happy face chasing her dreams like bubbles she so eagerly wanted to pop and was so hopelessly desperate to grow up and achieve those dreams.

In a field, the rest of us saw the dirt full of nails and trash while she saw the flowers growing from it. During a storm, we saw the rain pouring down but she saw the sun beaming through the clouds.

But now that we did grow up, all of those things about her were gone.

Her eyes used to sparkle; now they were dull. The tone in her voice was always so promising; now it was full of hate. She used to look so happy; now she looked tired.

She didn't look like the girl who left me 9 years ago.

She was fragile, held a shield, protecting herself as if someone was coming to attack her. She took the words that spilled out these idiots' mouths and looked at them as if they were true. She believed their lies, and although she was a fighter, she was clueless on how to fight for herself.

They held a pistol to her head and she watched just waiting for the moment for when the trigger would be pulled.

And somehow I felt like that was my damn fault.

Made me think that her downfall was the effect of my actions. That maybe I should have stopped her that day she erased her memories, held like she'd done to me many times, and promised to be at her side the way I should have been.

"You're right. I don't know anything but if one person notices it then maybe multiple people do. Don't you think?" She said that one time in the tunnels during the sports festival. Her eyes seemed to lose all hope. Telling stories of pain and misery that took over her within the years we were apart.

She was in pieces; many of them were missing because she let them go.

When we were kids, she gave me all her strength, gave me all her compassion, and her a girl who had none of that from her parents, it was out of a reach she couldn't understand. She saw me at my worst, saw me at the times where I wasn't where I wanted to be.

But she put her burdens away, patched up her scars temporarily to guide me to my best. Gave me a home inside her heart because mine was full of pressure and inordinate rage toward everyone.

While everyone called me a prodigy, praising me for my power, she saw me as a normal kid boy. Gave me those moments of fresh air where I could just be myself.

She gave me everything even if we were so young and when she left, she took those things with her...

But, she came back to me.

So I made sacrifices.

Rebuilt the wall but this time, around her.

I was going to give back what she did for me. Pull her out of her hole of doubt and show her that she was more than the names slandered on her.

Cause she's a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The type of dream you wake up from, unknowingly with a smile on your face when you do.

She saw the good in me when everyone saw the anger. Saw the tears pool in my eyes at my weakest, accepted the screams of frustration from when I couldn't understand myself and helped lift the boulder weighing down my shoulders when already had her own.

She came back to me.

And like those damn cliches said when they come back it was meant to be, so hold them tight... I was going to hold her tight.

Write a story for us, starting with the blank page where the first chapter was the journey through her self-worth and make it understood that she was more than her burdens.

That her scars were ones of battle and in the end she came out as an Angel that saved me even if others hadn't seen what I did.

So while the rest of them watched as she fell apart, I was going to pick up the pieces and help her put herself back together. Be there through her journey no matter what or who held her down.

And it took 9 years and enough pain for me just to wait for that to happen when it wasn't. So I was done waiting.

9 fucking years.

Until she was mine and we could finally do things together like we'd dreamt of in the city where we could be free.

She wanted to be free like the stars she dreamt of, see them in the night where they would luminate over her.

And when I take her there as I promised, she'd come to realize she was wrong.

She was nothing like the stars.

She was the moon, much brighter than those simple stars. 

And I was the sun who set so she could shine during the night.

She came back to me.