Bucky Barnes - Love and Lust

Guilt

It was the next morning, you had not slept all night. Bucky woke up to the sound of Steve unlocking the door to come and get some clothes for the day. Steve was on edge, he felt so much guilt he couldn't believe what Nat had got him into. His best friend hated him. 

Bucky looked at him then lay back down on his pillow. Steve tried to talk but Bucky went into the bathroom and locked the door. He looked at you and you looked back at him in disgust. It wasn't his fault, it was Nat's, she had planned to wreck Bucky's relationships with both his best friend and girlfriend just to get back at him. You still despised Steve for cooperating with her. 

Steve left the room, leaving you sat in bed alone. Bucky was taking a shower. You began to cry again, hiding your head under the covers. 

When Bucky got out of the shower he pulled the covers off of your face revealing your teary eyed face.

"What the fuck are you crying for?", he said in an aggressive tone, "you're the one who cheated on me, shouldn't I be the one crying?"

These were the first words he had said to you since he caught you last night. You were happy to hear his voice but upset at the words that came out. 

"I've told you i'm sorry a million times! She manipulated me!", you cried.

"You seemed to be enjoying it", he replied.

"Bucky! She did this all to get back at you don't you understand that? She took advantage of me. She knew that I didn't understand the concept of having an open relationship, she knew how to play me!", you said raising your voice, trying to get him to understand.

"WE SPOKE ABOUT HOW WE DIDN'T WANT NAT ANYMORE! YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE OPEN AND YOU WANTED ME", he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I WAS CONFUSED BUCKY! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED! I FELT LIKE I HURT HER!", you screamed instantly regretting it.

"Well now you've hurt me Y/N", he said beginning to break down into tears.

You ran over to him and held him in your arms, hugging him tight. Even though he was so deeply disappointed in you, he hugged you back even tighter. He was confused. Everything he had done for you. Taking you to your favourite restaurant. Asking you to be his girlfriend. Sticking up for you in front of Nat. And you still cheated him.

"Ever since I joined the Avengers its been a very confusing time Buck. On my first day we had that moment in the kitchen, all the sexual tension between us. Then kissing Nat and having sex with a girl for the first time. Then you saying you wanted to share me with her. Then my first ever threesome. Then the whole open relationship thing. Now this. It's been far from normal and i'm trying to understand", you cried.

Bucky cupped your chin, "It's okay. It's okay. You don't need to feel upset. I get that you're confused, it must have been hard for you. I didn't mean to confuse you by saying I wanted an open relationship then changing my mind. I didn't mean to shout. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be the one saying sorry Bucky, I should", you said as you kissed him gently.

"We will work this out, I promise", he replied hugging you tight and kissing your forehead.

-

You headed down to the kitchen to grab some breakfast for you and Bucky. You planned to make him some pancakes to apologise again. When you walked in, Nat and Steve were sat at the table. Their conversation looked intense. Tony and Bruce were on the couch watching tv, listening to their conversation. The whole room was filled with whispers as you walked in. Yesterday was very problematic and everyone knew about it. 

You tried to ignore them and walked to the fridge to get some milk and butter. Keeping your head held high as the whispers continued. God everyone is probably thinking what is this slut doing here ,you though to yourself. Nat was watching you closely, noticing that you were not with Bucky. She thought she had won, but she was very wrong. You and Bucky were working it out. You were strong. 

You hated her for what she did. Not a single feeling was left for her. You gave no shits about her feelings anymore after last night. She was a manipulative little bitch. At least you still had Wanda, she knew that Nat was like this. She had read both of your minds and come to the conclusion that you had no intention of hurting Bucky. Nat did.

You began to make the pancake mix, pouring it into the pan in little heart shapes. Of course this failed. The mixture just all blobbed together, but the thought was there. 

Tony came over to you, "Hey so tomorrow i'm going to need you and Nat to do some training, you've both missed out on a few weeks of it and I think you need some more practise incase there is another mission that comes up".

You looked over to Nat and then back to Tony and replied, "No thanks i'll be training with Bucky from now on."

Tony looked confused but he put two and two together and saw that you and Nat weren't in a good place right now.

"Okay sure", he replied as he began to walk to his office. Bruce followed him.

You went back to making the pancakes and acted like nothing happened. This infuriated Nat. The fact she was the outsider and you and Bucky were stronger than ever.

"Real mature Y/N", she said looking smug.

"I don't know what you're talking about", you replied with your back to her still concentrating on the pancakes.

Nat stormed out in a mood and went to train on her own. 

"So.. about last night", Steve began to say before you cut him off.

"Last night was a mistake and i'm paying for that now"

Steve looked heartbroken. He had lost his friendship with both you and Bucky. Even though he thought as you more than a friend. He was hurt. 

"Well, i'm sorry", he said, "I fucked up."

You instantly turned around to look at Steve. He had just used the F word. He never swore. You giggled.

-

Bucky was still lay in bed when you got back. You lay the breakfast on his lap, he smiled and kissed your cheek. He began to giggle looking at the failed attempt of a heart pancake, "I love your art skills".

"Maybe you could be quiet and eat the breakfast your girlfriend just made you", you giggled back and then stopped, "that's if you still consider me your girlfriend?".

He smiled and prodded your cheek with his fork, "Of course you're still my girlfriend."

You felt so at peace. The guilt still lingered but you were glad Bucky was trying to forgive you.

You were so tired because you were running on zero hours of sleep. Bucky noticed this and gestured for you to get into bed with him. Opening his arm up you crawled under the covers and lay on his chest hearing his heart beat. Peace at last.

Disclaimer: Sorry this is up so late, I was so tired yesterday after working all night and when it was time to write I decided to get some sleep. Will try to write some more tonight if I can <3