Backstage (h.s)

20. Es?

Harry

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My throat is getting dry and my heart is racing

I haven't been by your side

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Yesterday Esme left and I had a gut feeling something was wrong when I found out that Victoria was Esme's mother, from the words I was hearing from Esme while I was eavesdropping her mother is not the nicest person which made me angry, why does she get treated so poorly by the people she loves

I texted Louis a couple of hours after he told me who Victoria was just to see if she was alright but he said he didn't know because Ember and Esme locked themselves in Ember's room and he couldn't get either one of them to talk, he said Ember told him to shut the fuck up and to leave for a few more hours that wasn't a good sign

I called him and he yelled at me for no reason I yelled back telling him it wasn't my fault they were acting like that it was Victorias and he didn't really knew who Victoria was he just who that she was Esme's mom because of Ember

We tried to figure things out or make some clues out of everything and we met up with Niall and Liam and Zayn at the studio, we made sure Matthew wasn't going to be there and we called his assistant, she told us he was out for the day with Patrick on business which made us in the clear

I got to the studio around 6:30 and Niall was already there playing his guitar just to clear his head as always, the others showed soon after and we all tried to piece this shit together but it didn't go according to plan, we had no clue where to start and what to look for and Louis wasn't much help since he didn't really talk to Ember about Esme's family life which I understood why they didn't

we left a little after that and Niall reassured us on our plans for tonight we're going to this bar that Louis told us about and he knows the owner so we can get in there for free, he said it's called catch one, it's supposed to be really nice I'm nervous for Esme to go though because she said she would but that was before Victoria so I don't know what she's feeling now

and her ribs aren't even closed to healed yet so how would she even move and dance like the rest of us, I would sit out of course to sit with her and talk and still have a good time but I know she would want to party hard

I got home last night and crashed with Ripley on my bed dreaming of Esme to be okay and for her to feel better in the morning something about her makes me just want to have her in my bed wrapped in my arms to make her feel safe

I woke up this morning to some texts from Ember, I forgot I had her number from Patrick and Esme's fight, "Are you going tonight?" I see the first one and I scroll up, "Esme is worrying me" I see the second one, "answer your fucking phone" I see the third one, "I think you might need to come over" I see the last one and I jump out of bed, "I'm coming over now, address?" I text back and I throw my phone on the bed and I sprint to my closet

I throw on a black hoodie and black running shorts and some white running shoes and I sprint out the door grabbing my car keys off the counter, I shut the door behind me and I run to my car I throw open the door and I slide turning the key into the ignition and I race off to Ember's apartment

it takes me about twenty minutes to get to her apartment but I race to her door when I do and she opens it slowly, she looks like a mess, she obviously hasn't got a single ounce of sleep, her blonde hair is all over the place and her makeup is smeared all over her face

"come in" she mumbles and I feel somethings really wrong, I walk in and I don't see my golden girl anywhere in sight, I see Ember stare at the door of her room I'm assuming, I look at her and she nods her head to it signaling me to go in

I twist the knob to get into the bedroom and when I do I see Esme's back facing me but the comforter is covering her back, I walk slowly to the side of her and I see her face, she doesn't look bright, her light went out

I sit on the bed and she flinches when she feels the bed dip down, I see her shiver but her eyes never met mine, "goldie?" I whisper her nickname but she doesn't answer me she stares off into the headboard daydreaming probably or shutting everything out

"golden girl?" I ask for her but she doesn't do anything, I can barely see her with the covers covering her all I can see is her face with all of the scratches and stitches above her eye, she doesn't look like my Esme, she looks broken and something had to happen from the time she was at my house to now and I bet it had something to do with Victoria

"Es?" I ask once more of her but she doesn't answer, I stand up and I push the covers off of her and she jumps up and she pushes herself in the corner, I see her trying to cover her arms which makes my stomach do flips, I walk towards her and she finally makes eye contact with me but when she does I don't recognize her, she looks like a stranger

she slips down to the floor and she pulls her knees to her chest, I kneel in front of her and she turns her head away,  "es talk to me please-" I mumble desperately and she doesn't say anything, I take her hands but she flinches, I look to her forearms to see fresh cuts that have dried blood on them, when I look at them I feel like puking, why would she do this to herself?

"es w-what are those?" I ask her and I feel tears from at my eyes, she looks at me with no expression and she looks at them, "I deserve them" she whispers her first words and I shake my head, "no no no" I say stern and she flinches at my tone, "es why would you do this" I ask her and she shrugs lightly, "punishment for myself" she mumbles and I look into her deep eyes

"punishment for what" I ask her and she doesn't say anything, "it doesn't matter" she says and I hold onto her hands for as long as I can not wanting her to push me away. "H-harry?" she whispers and I see a tear escape her eye, I look at her and she looks at the cuts, "I'm sorry" she says and I look at her, "don't be sorry baby, I'm here" I whisper and I cup her face in my hands and she looks into my eyes

she looks away quickly and I look away too not wanting to show her how much I wanted to kiss her right in that moment, "do you want to talk about what happened?" I ask her and she shakes her head, "can we take a nap so I can go to the club tonight, I need to get my mind off of things" she says and I nod, she stands up slowly and she she gets into bed, I throw the covers over her and I lay next to her

she inches closer to me and I wrap my arm around her back and she leans her head on my chest, "thank you smiley" she whispers right as she falls asleep, I smile and I kiss her forehead and I fall asleep as well

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Hi Goldies! New chapter!

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-c