maze runner imagines.

returning: newt.

newt chipped away at the log in front of him with minimal effort and a scowl so permanent that it burned through anyone who dared to look.
he couldn't find the strength within him to try anymore.
what reason did he have to anymore?
he was in the safe place.
most of his friends were here,
and life was supposed to be good.
so why do i feel so empty?
the answer was painfully clear.
without y/n,
newt was practically alone.
take away a mans love,
and all that's left is skin and bones.
that's exactly how newt felt in this moment;
breathing but hardly alive.
y/n had been his first companion in the glade.
they spent three years together without a day apart.
he had grown accustomed to feeling her touch,
basking in the light of her stare,
his insides being filled with an unfamiliar intensity that could only be described as love.
love that the two worked tooth and nail to create.
and after all their time together,
his negligence had resulted in her death.
newt threw down the tool in his hand and let out a guttural cry that echoed,
drawing the attention of everyone nearby.
the memory was too painful to bottle up anymore.
newt couldn't stop himself from being driven mad with grief.
he sank to his knees,
feeling the impression form in the sand,
and buried his head in his hands.
tears that had been building were now being released.
he felt the firm grip of thomas become wrapped around his shoulder while he remained still in the sand,
his lungs burning from the lack of air.
"breathe, newt. you gotta breathe."
almost on command,
newt inhaled a deep breath that tasted of salt and singed his lungs.
it seemed almost unfair to newt.
why should he be here,
breathing in this fresh air when y/n was left for dead?
he had half a mind to deprive himself of any luxuries this life provided:
breathing, eating, smiling.
but when the gnawing in his stomach grew too loud and too painful to shy away from,
he allowed thomas's words to convince him to eat.
"y/n wouldn't want you doing this."
and while that much was true,
newt didn't really care for y/n's selflessness right now.
the ringing in his ears silenced and there,
he could hear thomas again.
"...you don't deserve this torture."
newt looked to thomas with red ringed eyes and managed a half smile.
"it hurts,"
he admitted through a crack in his voice.
thomas pressed his lips together then gave newt's shoulder a supportive tap.
"i know."
newt couldn't verbalize the gratuity he held for thomas.
y/n had been a friend to everyone,
yet thomas never brought it up in an attempt to share this pain.
because truth be told,
there are no correct words to explain the anguish rippling through newt at the loss.
how could someone who hardly loved her as he did understand?
"we're all here for you, newt."
"thanks."
thomas nodded then left newt to himself,
after all,
there was only so much a few comforting words could do.
newt had to face this melancholy head on and eventually,
get over y/n.
even the thought of it shattered the remaining pieces of newt's heart.
how could he possibly get over her when their lives together had barely started?
so much potential,
yet not enough time.
newt let out one last painful sob before composing himself.
he stood on his shaky feet and brushed the sand clinging to his clothes.
he looked up the sky and watched as two beautiful birds soared through the air,
their songs of harmony complimenting one another.
newt smiled to himself.
"i love you, too, y/n."
***
"birds are always so free. i think if i was an animal, i'd be a bird. a big bird that just flies all day."
"i like that idea. sounds liberating."
y/n giggled into his chest where he could feel the vibration of it,
then nestled herself to him a little more comfortably.
"if we're ever apart and you see a bird, think of me."
"i'll always think of you, whether i want to or not,"
he teased,
placing a kiss to her temple.
the two laid still,
trying to burn this image in their memories for the future,
and sighed with content.
"two birds. you and i. means i love you."
newt chuckled then nodded his head at the odd girl he loved so much.
"two birds."

newt woke up with a smile for the first time in months.
for a split second,
he imagined y/n beside him with her back turned to him like always.
no matter how hard she tried to stay in his arms during the night,
she always turned around.
newt went to reach for his lover,
but was met with the cold air.
it seemed to be taunting him,
the bitterness of it.
he felt his swelling heart sink to the lowest point of his stomach.
it had been the first time he'd dreamt of y/n,
aside from the haunting image of her dead body that he'd been forced to leave behind.
there was some positivity in the new adaptation.
his dreams of her were turning into loving memories they shared together.
so long as he had those,
he could push through this agony and live to see another day.
newt soon sat himself on the beach again,
listening to the rise and fall of the waves.
it eased him to see the world so calm,
even when his was spinning out of control.
"newt! newt!"
thomas yelled from afar.
newt turned his head and caught the signal thomas was giving,
telling him to come here.
newt hurried after thomas,
then was met with the last thing he'd expected.
y/n stood before him,
her clothes burned, ragged, and soaked with her own blood,
but there in front of him.
all the blood drained from newt's face.
"y/n?"
he croaked out,
the whisper of it sounding foreign.
newt was sure he was still dreaming.
this was nearly impossible.
she let her tears fall before rushing to hold him,
her scent filling his lungs to the brim.
there was no relief like the one he felt right now.
all the shattered pieces of his heart had been reassembled,
the ache in each of his bones was ebbing away;
a response to the warmth of y/n.
"oh, newt,"
she breathed out into his neck,
sending chills down his spine.
"i love you. i love you so much,"
he mumbled,
squeezing her so tight he was sure to strain her.
but it didn't matter to him in that moment.
all he could focus on was the breath of her against his skin,
and the beating of her heart to his own.
"i love you, too."
newt pulled back to revel in all her glory.
"how...how is this possible?"
newt could see the white scar on her neck,
a reminder of the bullet that had entered and resulted in what he thought was her death.
y/n directed her gaze toward teresa,
who was busy with a reunion of her own.
"she's brilliant, newt. patched me up and made me brand new."
newt could fall to teresa's feet right now and kiss them for bringing back his love.
but he kept himself still,
never taking his eyes off y/n in fear of her whisking away.
y/n cupped his cheek and allowed for the smooth pad of her thumb to caress him.
there,
this image before him become solid.
newt laid his hand on top of hers and laced their fingers as one.
"i'm here, newt. i'm back."
the words rushed over him,
healing all that was broken inside.
it was true after all,
y/n had returned and was back in his arms.
from now until the end,
newt promised he would never waste a day with y/n.