Arranged Love Marriage

Chapter 7: Their Engagement

Sandhya POV

"Akka, wear alternate green and yellow bangles. That style would look good." Saying this, Sindhu starts arranging the bangles in that manner. She is wearing a pink-blue half saree and is looking as beautiful as possible. She has a taste and is good at presenting herself according to the occasion. Every accessory she wore matched perfectly. A pink color neckless with blue beads hanging out pairs with their jhumkas (earrings that hang in beautiful patterns). She, too, wears bangles arranged in alternate blue and pink colors. She is no less than a professional fashion designer, except for the fact that she doesn't own a degree. I will be missing this person soon. She is an addiction to me.

Today is my engagement with Sanjay and Sindhu is excited about it. Don't ask me how I feel about this. I don't know! I think I am the one over-expecting. Am I? I am blaming myself for overreacting over simple issues and not being considerate towards him! Am I? I wish, I so wish I didn't see him take my picture. Things would have been better if it was a normal arranged marriage. I am going crazy to understand if it's a love or an arranged marriage! God! This is so confusing. At least settle my ego. I will stop being mad at him.

The engagement will be very simple and arranged at my home. Our garden is already beautiful, and today it's much more attractive. I am sitting in the open space and staring at the shining night stars through the open sky. Sindhu is done arranging the bangles and hands them over to me. "Hello sister, bangles, wear them!" I am not in the mood to listen to anyone's instructions. I give her a stern look, destroy the beautiful arrangements made from the bangles, and stubbornly wear only yellow bangles. That's how I express my disappointment. I disobey all necessary and unnecessary suggestions when I'm upset. That's me! With a blank expression, she leaves. She goes back to mom to help her more because she doesn't intend to pick up a fight with me today.

Nothing has changed. Neither did Mani stop torturing me, nor have I fallen for Sanjay. Did he start hating me for all the drama I created at the park? No, he shouldn't. Does he think I will be an unnecessary pain in his life? Possible! I was unrealistically sensitive and dramatic. I should probably try being a better person and keep us happy. But do I love him so much? Does he deserve my care? I, too, liked him and hoped he did be my love.

Along with my whole family, I, too, have a reasonable opinion of him. So, should I sacrifice my ego and feel happy for us? Or should I just question and shout out all my anger? How should I do that? How will I get rid of this confusion? Today, I'm getting engaged to him with so many insecurities. How will our married life be successful? Am I doing the right thing? Am I going to be fine?

"I get that you are mad at something or someone. Don't worry about Mani; getting rid of him is not a great deal. This chocolate ice cream helps me release my tension. Have one along with me!" says Sindhu. We sisters are peacefully and slowly eating the chocolate ice cream in silence. Even though I'm completely messed up now, this moment with Sindhu is nice! Because I know the value of this moment because Sindhu and I will be separated soon!

Again, my eyes are covered with some hands. I know it is Sanjay. He probably has this habit. This time I don't create any drama. Instead, I softly say, "Sorry!" I want him to feel my apologies. And again, I am getting dramatic. Unnecessarily! Tears have started to fill my eyes and are all set to overflow.

Sanjay pulls his hands off my eyes and says, "Hey, my hands are wet." I don't turn back to look at him. Instead, he kneels in front of me. Right now, I feel low and weak, pathetic and underconfident, ashamed and alone. I don't want to be this way. Not in front of him, at least! I want to escape, from this moment, somehow fast forward off this situation. I want to fit myself as Hydrogen into the balloon over there, become the hydrogen balloon and fly away from him. I allow myself to be myself only with Sindhu. Why am I like this with Sanjay? Am I in love with him? Really? Is this my love for him? Oh, God! Why is this so complicated?