After the War: The White Wolf of Doranelle (Fenrys Moonbeam)

Chapter 19: It's a Hate Relationship

Nia

Nia jolted awake, breathing ragged and heart pounding. She took in a couple of deep breaths, eyes going automatically to sky to reassure herself that she was out. That she was free.

You okay? Fenrys asked down the bond, her eyes going to the massive white wolf that laid a couple of paces away. The moon was halfway across the sky, Fenrys's furry self was curled up into a ball, him having taken first watch.

Nia nodded, rubbing her face and sighing. You can get some rest now. She scooted herself over to a nearby tree, leaning her back against the rough wood.

Fenrys was still staring at her with concern. Nia added, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways, so just get some sleep, Fen."

A lupine smile. Fen?

Sleeepppppp, Nia said again, picking at one of the tiny flowers on the ground and throwing it at the wolf who scowled. Or else you will be pelted by flowers.

Fenrys grunted but his eyes did close.

Fenrys

Fenrys was back in his room in Doranelle, on his bed was a sealed letter. It was likely delivered to a servant earlier that day, 50 years ago.

He quickly opened it, very aware that if he didn't get a move on, Lorcan would kill him for being late to training. Afternoon sunlight poured in through the wide, open windows, but his thoughts began to overpower the roaring of the waterfall.

He read the letter, again and again and again, praying that this was some kind of joke, that his father wasn't really gone. But the letter had the family seal on it, and was signed by his mother. Who was begging for him and Con to come home, for at least a couple of days, to help her, and to mourn with her. For the husband she had lost, and for the father that Fenrys would never see again.

Fenrys put a shield up around his room and no one would hear him, as his knees failed him and a mix between a scream and a sob erupted from him. He punched the bed in front of him, and then punched it again and again, through screaming. He contemplated stabbing a couple of pillows, but took pity on the servants.

Through sobs he read the letter over and over again, his hands and entire body shaking.

The letter was addressed to him and Con so he would have to go break the news to him soon. After screaming and sobbing some more, all the regrets he had and the time he had wished that he had more of with his father.

Especially in the recently deceased, when the oath with Maeve made it so he could hardly visit his parents to begin with, never mind see them with Connall. And his mother....oh my gods his mother, who loved her husband fiercely, Fenrys would have to convince Maeve to go see her.

There was a loud baning at the door, and Fenrys knew it was from stupid Salavettere. Wiping the tears from his face, the crumpled letter in hand, he walked over to the door, to see a glowering demi-Fae.

"You better be ready," Lorcan said coldly, his hair tied back and a sword at his side. "It's been--"

"I'm not training today," Fenrys said, forcing his voice not to crack.

He was not going to breakdown in front of fucking Salavettere.

Lorcan's mouth opened in a snarl, but Fenrys just shoved the letter he held into Lorcan's chest. He glared at the Wolf, before taking it and skimming the letter. Fenrys watched as his face paled, and then his softened eyes darting back up to Fenrys. And with the most sincerity Fenrys had ever heard come from Lorcan, he said, "I'm sorry."