Lost Voice

Scared

I'm pretty sure I got fired from my job, I haven't gone in for three days straight with out any notice. Xacier hasn't let me go and I haven't tried to leave, if I did, that nagging little voice screams bloody murder.
Stop being selfish. Allow yourself to be taken.
It repeats, over and over till the point that I break into chaos and tears.
I stood in front of the sink, staring blankly at the falling water.
Just tell him you love him already.
But I'm scared,
Yeah, scared of yourself. You think you'll be just like your biological mother, don't you?
Go away.
I will if you tell him that you love him.
I sharply inhale as a pair of arms wrap around my waist.
"Jesus Christ, Xacier! You scared the living hell out of me!" I exclaim, leaning back into his comforting and strong hold.
Xacier spins me around, turning off the water before wagging his finger at me almost as if he's saying; Tsk, tsk.

I bite his finger, giggling softly as his face scrunched up. I try turn back around to do the dishes but my movements were still restricted by Xacier's arms that were around my waist. I sigh. He still won't let me go, he doesn't let me out of his sight or else he'll panic. I push him away slightly, turning around so I can finish what I'm doing as Xacier nuzzles into my neck. He kisses it softly, swaying side to side. A smile creeps up to my face an I let out a soft laugh, he is always like this. At first it was absolutely bizarre, but now it's comforting and adorable.
"Xacier, what're you doing?" I asked as I finish the dishes, I feel his lips form a smile on my skin.
I turn my head to the side just enough so I can see his eyes, the purple orbs were bright and full of happiness. They reminded me of a child's eyes when they want something very badly. Pleading yet adorable and soft.
I pause for a moment, thinking of what he could possibly want.
"Movie..?" I ask, a smiling pulling my lips even wider when I saw his eyes squeeze shut in excitement and nodded his head vigorously.
His hands unwrap my waist, I felt his warm presence slowly disappear along with his lovely lavender scent.
You obviously love him.
The annoying nagging voice in my head said, ruining my once happy mood.
Of course I love Xacier! But I'm not going to admit it. well, to him at least.
I let out a soft sigh, my cheeks a slight red. I dry my hands, turning off the lights before head to the living room. I found Xacier on the couch, leaning against it lazily, his arm across the ledge and his legs wide but slightly crossed at his ankles. His gaze shifts from the previews and the TV screen to me, as I sit on the far side of the couch, away from him.
You rejecting him now? Sit a little farther, why don't cha?
The little voice said cruelly and sarcastically. I puff my cheeks out and glance over at Xacier, who wasn't looking at me anymore. I chew on the inside of my cheek, until I tasted a metallic substance. It would be weird if I just moved closer to him, maybe if I had some sort of excuse...
"I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom." I said softly, his gaze shifts over at me, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"I'll be back in two minutes, okay?" I said, trying to give him my most convincing smile.
I stand up and head to the bathroom, locking the door after me, waiting a minute or so before flushing the toilet to make it seem more legit.
I came back, his eyes not shifting to me at all. I probably did upset him when I didn't sit by him.
No duh.
Shut up.
I walk over to the couch. In that exact moment, I never knew how hard it was to figure out where to sit. My mind raced, desperately searching for an answer before I reached the couch.
How about in his lap?
The voice said, cutting through all my thoughts, and was much clearer than what I was trying to figure out in my head.
I literally sat in his lap.
How fucking stupid could I be.
I instantly turned red, attempting to stand back up to get out of his lap but his arms flew around my waist, securing me in place. His face in the crook of my neck, kissing it softly as if he were praising me, his legs wrap and interwind with my own.
It takes me a minute to relax..
I lean back into his chest, his warmth swallowing me whole and his scent surrounded me. His face was out of of my neck and I could feel his warm breath against my ear.
I'm becoming drowsy with his scent and warmth.
As the movie wore on, I realized it was a horror movie, a type of movie that could happen to you right now.
It scared the living shit out of me!
Xacier had his arms protectively wrapped around me as I gripped on to them for my dear life.
I found myself with my face in his neck, sitting across his lap while my hands gripped onto his shirt. Screams would escape my mouth, I would jump and shudder in fear while Xacier stayed completely still, holding me in his loving arms.
I swear. I think he's not human or something.
My arms wrap around his neck, my legs around his waist was my final position on him since I refused to watch anymore of the movie.
Xacier pauses the movie, standing up and bringing me to the bedroom as I cling on to for dear life. He lays me on the bed, pulling the blankets over my body before he walked out the bedroom door.
I watch the door, waiting for him to come back. It's only been ten minutes and I'm shitting my pants in fear. I stagger out of bed, running to the door before swinging it open, looking around desperately for Xacier.
I find him on the couch, finishing the movie, tears stream down my face in complete and utter fear.
"Xacier.." I sobbed, my knees trembling and threatened to cave in.
He shot up, not caring to pause the movie, he grabbed me and put me over his shoulder and back into the bedroom we went.
This time, he threw me in bed, crawling in after me. He cuddled up with me, his hands stroked my hair lovingly and his lips were pushed up against my forehead.
Xacier didn't leave me that night, and that annoying voice shut up for the night, not tormenting me in my dreams.