"Just Friends" A Harry Styles Fanfic

Chapter 12

It's 5 am and I have slept maybe 30 minutes. All these thoughts in my head have me overwhelmed.

I pull out my phone and send Harry a text:

Me: Harry, I'm sorry.

Harry: ...

I see the three dots as if he is going to type then they disappear.

Me: Harry, please talk to me.

Error: Your message was unable to be delivered.

He blocked me. My heart has a stabbing pain in it.

I decide to get up and take a walk on the beach. The sound of the ocean is peaceful and distracts me from my thoughts.

As the sun starts to come up I see on the sand and take some deep breaths.

What am I going to do? Harry is in love with me, did he really mean that? I have a boyfriend, don't I love Luke? So many questions to ask myself and I don't know the answers.

I play with the sand in my hands and breathe.

Ok, so Becks, what do you want? Yes, I'm seriously gonna talk to myself to figure this out. Sorry if I sound crazy.

Oh god, I called myself Becks, even Harry has me calling myself that now.

Anyways, so how do I feel about Harry. Well I still have a bit of a wall up from when he hurt me. & he is my friend, just a friend right? But on the other hand when I am around him I get giddy and blush a lot. & when we danced last night it was like my insides were on fire, in a good way. Excuse my dirty thoughts but it was like not only my heart, but my vagina yearned for him as well. I've never had so much sexual tension with someone before. Yes, I've had sex with several guys, only 2, but never had they made me feel the way I feel when Harry's fingers brush over my skin.

On the other hand there is Luke. He is my best friend, a bit distant lately due to the physical distance between us. He makes me laugh and is a good and stable choice for a future husband. He is cookie cutter. But he has never made me feel the passion Harry has. He is the right logical choice.

So I guess I either choose who is best logically for me or who my heart as well as vagina clearly wants. Haha.

I laugh a bit, but it's not an easy choice. After another 30 minutes of contemplating my choice, I know what I have to do.

I stand up and head back to my house.

When I arrive I see Luke sitting on the patio drinking an orange juice.

"Babe, where did you go?" He says and kisses me on the forehead.

"Just on a walk." I respond. I sit down on the patio chair across from him.

It's silent for a few minutes as we stare at the waves.

I clear my throat. "Luke, you know that I love you right?" I question.

"Of course Babe." He responds looking confused.

"I...Um, I just feel like since I left Pittsburgh things aren't the same between us. I say.

"Well of course they are harder with the distance, but it doesn't mean I love you any less." He responds.

"I know, but Luke I just feel like we have drifted apart. I still love you as a friend, but I don't think I love you romantically anymore." I respond, I feel like I could throw up.

Luke is quiet for a few minutes.

"Luke, please say something." I plead.

"I mean, I guess you are right. I know the distance has hurt our relationship, but I didn't feel it had been that bad." He says with a frown on his face.

"I can make more trips out here to try to fix it." He says grabbing my hand.

"I just feel like I need some time on my own honestly. To figure out what is best for me. I think we should take a break and break up." I declare.

Luke looks shocked. "You really don't think we can fix this?"

"I need some time by myself to figure out myself and what I need." I say.

"Well I can wait for you." He exclaims.

I remove my hand from his. "I don't want you to have to do that and I don't want you to wait and then find out I may never be ready. It's best to end us now." I say. Tears are in my eyes. This hurts.

Luke's eyes start to water. "I guess I understand."

Luke gets up and goes into the apartment.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"To pack, I think it's best if I leave." He says.

I don't stop him as I think it may be best to have the space and maybe one day we can be friends again.

After 15 minutes Luke comes outside with his duffel bag in hand.

I walk to his car with him.

He throws the bag in his car and turns around to me. He takes me into his arms and hugs me tight which takes me by surprise.

"I'll be hoping for you to reach out and be ready for us to be together someday soon." He says.

He pulls away and kisses my lips. Then he gets in his car and drives away.

My eyes are watery and my heart hurts. I feel like I did the right thing though.

I walk up into the house to find my parents along with Jessica and Natalie sitting at the breakfast table.

My mom takes one look at me and she can tell I'm not okay.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Where is Luke?" She says.

Everyone is now staring at me.

I burst into tears. "We broke up and he went back to Pittsburgh."

Everyone looks shocked. Natalie and Jessica run over and hug me. We retreat to the basement. They hand me tissues and allow me to grieve the break up. They don't push me with questions.

After an hour of crying I can finally speak.

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Natalie asks.

I hold the infinity pendant in between my fingers as I feel it will give me strength.

"Please don't judge me." I say.

They look at me with concerned eyes, "never"

So I decide to tell them everything. I tell them about how I reconnected with Harry and how we were friends but I guess I want to be more than friends. I tell them how Harry told me he is in love with me and about how I broke up with Luke.

As I twiddle the necklace in between my fingers I let myself feel everything.

"Did he give you that?" They ask pointing at the necklace.

"Yes, yesterday." I say.

"I mean I don't know Becca, we've heard all the bad stuff about Harry and just want what is best for you. If you think he is it, then we'll support you. Do you love him?" They ask.

Hmm, do I love him. Love is a big word, I've never thought about loving Harry because I thought all we would ever be is friends.

"I mean, I think I am starting to fall in love with him. I'm not in love with him yet. I was with Luke, so it wouldn't have been right." I respond.

"I think you should give it a shot then." Jessica says.

"I'm just so scared he'll hurt me again." I say.

"Love is risky, you win or you lose. You won't ever know if you don't take a chance though." Natalie states.

She's right. I need to take a chance on Love with Harry.

"Now the only thing is that Harry blocked me and wants nothing to do with me." I respond.

"We'll help you figure something out before we leave." They say.

Well we've got a week before they leave to figure something out.