hidden feelings

Chapter 25 - Pain

POV Brandon:

It's been 2 weeks since I almost left spain..
Since then, I didn't leave the Apartment yet.
Of course Alex is trying to talk to me but I'm trying to avoid him. I'm avoiding everyone..
After the fight with Manu, I'm just fucking hurt and I can't stop thinking of him..
It kills me inside not to see him, not to talk with him and.. also i'm so embarrassed that i took drugs and went so on drama.. i feel bad for my friends.. but... it will be easier for me and for them when I leave spain in 7 months...
god I wasn't even in school for 2 weeks.. Alex told the school that I'm sick... so they won't give me bad grades for not coming in school..
Suddenly I hear knocking at my door..

Alex: „Hey Brandon.. uhh I'm going to school now. I made you some food... bye!"

I wait for a few seconds.. when I hear the Apartment door closing, I open my door.
Okay.. he's gone.
I go to the kitchen.. ugh again the same food...
it's just a boring sandwich with salami and salad, that's it.
I take the sandwich and throw it into the bin.
I go in my room again and I lay on my bed... ugh if Manu would be here... he would make me some very good sandwiches.... I still can remember when he made me a sandwich for the first time and god I was enjoying it so much....
Tears are slowly coming out of my eyes...
I miss him...
Huh.. my phone is buzzing... again the same number... I think it's Manu..
I ignore him.
Yes I miss him very much but.. the more we don't talk, the less is the pain when I leave spain.

I put my Airpods on and turn on the playlist...
I stare into the wall...
I start to think about how the life would be, if my parents would be just normal and caring..
how it would be if I found new REAL friends..
how it would be if I have my own house with my boyfriend who loves me more than anything..

Ugh... everything would be easy....
I close my eyes... and I slowly sleep again..

„Brandon?"

Huh..
I open my eyes and.. what the..
it's already dark outside...

„Brandon??"

It's Alex..

Brandon: „Yeah I'm fine.. I was just sleeping.."

Alex: „If you sleep, please leave the door open.. and.. do you wanna watch something on Netflix with me?"

Brandon: „No. I'm still tired.."

Alex: „Okay.. good night then.."

Brandon: „Bye.."

I kinda feel bad for him... I mean...
he's trying to make me feel happy
he's worries about me..
he cares about me....
and i'm just throwing words at him..

I stand up and open the door.

Brandon: „Alex wait...."

He turns around and smiles a little..

Alex: „Finally I can see your face again.."

Brandon: „Uhm... I would like to watch Netflix with you..."

Alex: „R-Really?"

Brandon: „Yeah why not. I don't have a TV in my room so.."

Alex: „Haha funny. Come on, the others are waiting"