Under the Whitethorn Tree

10. Is it worth it?

Time lapses. Autumn fills the space left by Summer with its auburn beauty and the chill in the air reminds everyone that Winter is coming for a visit pretty soon.  

Their love has gone steady notwithstanding these seasonal changes which makes Gun fall into an illusion that it always is and will be Spring in their loving world that they as two passionate lovers have created for themselves. 

Apparently one can't always stay in Spring no matter how much one likes its lush greenery and that's an undeniable truth, a truth Gun is still unaware of even while nesting in Off's protective arms safely away from all those treacherous minds plotting and conniving. 

With Off's arms around his waist pulling him closer, our innocent Gun contents himself by pillowing against his lover's chest staring at the blinking stars of the night sky with all the fondness and love. 

As the silent craving of the night dances in the air before his eyes, Gun tugs himself a little closer to Off earning a hum from him in return as if personal space is altogether a foreign concept he doesn't wish to learn. 

They stole hours like this whenever they could, hiding from everyone's inquisitive eyes, breathing solely in each other's presence. It's not his fault that Off spends less time with him than before. The fairies have grown a bit too brave for Gun's own liking, now they want to venture out as much as they can and it comes with a heavy price -Off has to accompany them as their Protector.

Off with a sense of duty often finds it unable to refuse their whims and fancies, and Gun does not like that very much all thanks to a little amount of possessiveness that keeps on poking at him. 

It isn't that dignified either for their Protector to sneak in to a cave like a lover seeking the thrill of a forbidden romance in the darkness just to be with his Gun, the only moment of self-indulgence Off ever allows for himself now. 

Here and there sparks of gossip ignite in the fairy community but those never reach that climax of a volcano. Perhaps the fairies dare not to enrage someone they need to protect themselves, a very selfish need indeed. Either way it is a concession that Gun has secured for himself and he is not willing to let it go in vain.  He wonders if it bothers Off in any way that it doesn't bother him much. 

"You know you don't have to do this.'' Gun shoots a glance at Off when his Protector starts speaking. He knows exactly what Off is going to say next. 

"New says this might not do good in the long run. You don't have to transform into a human form just for me.'' Off says it as if he had rehearsed the lines in advance. Clearly New has taken to Off when he couldn't persuade Gun into taking the potion for granted.

"I couldn't help it. I want to feel you more.'' Gun hides his face in the crook of Off's neck, fearing the intensity with which he had uttered those words. They are nothing short of truth. He knows it and he is certain that Off knows it too. He breathes in the woodland scent of Off that clings on to his skin as if it was inherent and ever present,  the balmy feeling of it tingles his soul. This is all what he ever wanted. 

He can feel Off swallowing hard and stiffening under his embrace. And  he thinks Off  finally had enough of Gun's straightforward advances but Off surprises him by embracing his body possessively in his arms as if fearing Gun will slip away from him. 

I won't leave you ever. Gun wants to say but instead he places a kiss on Off's neck and let it convey his promise. There's a faint press of Off's lips at his silky hair in reciprocation and Gun finds himself secretly smiling. He blooms anew with every touch and in this intoxication he remembers the adoration and pampering which Off gave him openly and unbidden, in whatever form he was in- fairy or human. He considers himself very lucky that he stumbled upon this human and not anyone else. 

It feels satisfying to lie in Off's arms, to have Off  all for himself even for a short span of time until the sun comes to take his Off away from him. 

Off silently nudges him and Gun whines irritated. 
"I see our roles have reversed. Now you are the one to go away from me.'' 

"Gun..'' Off nabs his poor shirt laying discarded on the floor and starts brushing the imaginary dust away to distract himself from this conversation. 

"No no I understand. You have a duty to fulfill. Being a Protector and all..''  Gun pouts, peering and waiting patiently for Off's offhanded teasing remarks to make an appearance. 

"Gun I told you. The Elders have summoned me. I have to go.'' Instead Off gives a serious reply. 

"What's wrong with you Off?'' Gun snaps.  

Off blinks in confusion. 

"That's it?  No annoying jokes?  No shameless flirting? You weren't like this before. You were hardly silent. Now you barely talk and when you talk it's all about your duty.'' Until the words were out, Gun didn't realize that this infact has been bothering him for a while. 

"Gun please. I don't have time for this.'' Off pleads half-heartedly. 

"No. You don't have time for me. That's the truth.'' Gun crosses his arms. He gets more annoyed by the fact that Off is not even trying to cajole him, pacify him by holding him close in a loose embrace. 

"Whatever I did, I did it for you. Whatever I do, I do it for you. If you can't understand that, this is not worth it.'' Off's words hover in the air, heavy and blistering, marking the beginning of an embittered relationship. 

That's when Gun realizes his Spring, their Spring has all but left him alone to struggle with an ache harrowing his heart because Off said to him- this is not worth it. 

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A/N   I'm so sorry 😬