Under the Whitethorn Tree

13. Shadows of the night

The chill of the night dangerously claws at Gun's little wings threatening to freeze him on spot. 

This could have easily turned into one of those nights where he lounges in their hiding place seeking the warmth radiating from Off's body. But the conversation he has had with Tay runs through his mind. He has to make things right. He has to have a proper conversation with Off, warn him about the Elders.

The slosh of water is hardly perceptible, Gun strains his beady eyes to perceive the identity of the silhouette of a figure crouching near the stream. 

There he is. The love of his life. 

Off has his head bent towards the stream as if he is carefully analysizing the reflection that it displays, he stays so motionless like a predator patiently waiting for a prey. 

Shadows get darker and darker each passing minute, Gun fears they'll engulf Off completely if he didn't act quickly. He flies over to Off, to reach out to him and pull him away from his reverie. 

Off startles at the interference, one hand quickly grabbing onto a firearm that Gun had no idea his Protector carried with him. 

"Off, it's me.'' Gun hastens to reassure lest Off will make a blunder purely out of reflex. 

If not for the moonlight that was focused on Off's person, Gun would have missed the way his expression changed from suspicion to shock and then to pure agony. 

He hides his hand behind his back hopelessly, dropping the firearm unguarded on the grass. 

His shattered expression sways Gun off his balance. Off wallows in his agony, the agony of him becoming something he didn't wish to be and letting his lover see that hidden side of his soul is the last thing he could have intended to do. He is brave enough to wield a weapon but not so brave enough to let Gun see him,know him and heal him. 

"Off what are you hiding?'' Gun gathers his courage, ready for a confrontation or perhaps a heated argument of how things turned out between them. What he gets in response is nothing but silence. 

He is not the one to let go of this opportunity without knowing Off's current dilemmas. 
He flies towards Off,  his wings glistening in the moonlight. The smell of gory blood is what stops his flight. 

Blood, Off's erratic behaviour, his avoiding of Gun and the nervous twitching of his body at present; everything cobbled together presents him the whole picture. 

Protecting someone by harming another, to save the victim from the perpetrator.

"Off  what happened? Are you hurt?'' Gun manages to ask despite all other suspicions nagging his mind.  

"It's not my blood.'' Off replies curtly. 

"You mean..you hurt someone?'' 

"What else I could do? They are trailing me like my shadow. I can't risk the safety of you all'' Off is fidgeting and it breaks Gun's heart to see him like this. Perhaps they shouldn't have done this at all. Off doesn't deserve this burden of being a Protector. 

"Off you should stay out of this mess. We… we can find a solution for this together… with New and Tay.'' Gun declares more to himself than to Off.  

"No. YOU should stay out of this. Stay out of my life if you could.'' 
His anger pierces through Gun's heart like shards of a brittle glass, pointy sharp and cold aiming for a death blow.  Off seems to realize the damage he has caused and shuffles across the ground looking crestfallen unable to meet Gun's eyes. 

All the promises they could have made to each other and now Off shies away from his contact for fear of tainting Gun's ethereal form with his own bloodied hands. This is not the person Gun found some months ago like stumbling upon a treasure trove in the middle of a carefree stroll. That boy who had a sly grin talked like tomorrow's the end of the world and joked like he had no care in the world. That boy was an open book easy to read, with a big heart had trusted a stranger without any question and gave him a place in that heart freely and openly. 

"Off please… don't go.''

 The words come out merely as a whisper, they get muffled in the air and dissolve before reaching Off's ears. Off hurries his steps as if he didn't hear Gun's plea but  Gun knows, he has heard it. 

The wall Off tries to put in between them looks impenetrable but on the other hand it looks all too forced and Gun knows it is forced because he knows Off by his heart now to know if he is faking indifference. 
He is forcing himself with such harsh words as if that would make Gun leave him… as if Gun could ever leave him. 

But Gun wants nothing but to have those long fingers stroke gently through his hair and a reassurance from that soothing voice that they're going to be okay. Fear for his lover's safety replaces the longing. 

If this is how Off's going to live, Gun is sure to lose him and he is not ready for that, he never will be. 

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A/N  😵