Solace

08 | private schools

| Alessia |

It became a routine.

At night when I was sure that everyone was asleep, I would go down to the basement, sit there for a while and go back to the room before anyone woke up.

This began to interfere with my sleep, which became visible. Ricardo thought it had something to do with the nervousness or uncertainty of going to school and tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't budge. I wanted to move forward with my life.

But it's always like that, you want something, till it's time for it. As I stood in front of the mirror, cleaned and dressed up, I took the time to look at myself. Every time I looked in the mirror, I wanted to know more about the person staring back at me; I owed it to her.

I wanted to know where I came from, what my surname was, and my real birthday, not the one I estimated. The only things I could tell someone about myself were the visible ones, like that I had long black hair, green eyes and tanned skin.

Deciding not to depress me further, I went downstairs but ran into Rafael, who was walking up. I wanted to walk past him, but he blocked my way.

"I don't know what your intentions are, but I am watching you," he said and bumped into my shoulder as he passed along.

I wanted to find it hilarious that he might think I had bad intentions, but on the other hand, it was remarkable that he didn't underestimate anyone.

The kitchen was empty when I entered and I didn't hesitate and grabbed two cans of Red Bull from the fridge, which I finished in record time. In the last few days, I have developed a real passion for this drink.

Time either passed too slowly, or I was too early, as it took ages for the twins to enter the kitchen. They didn't bother wearing their blazers, and Pietro's shirt was only half-buttoned while Leandro didn't even bother to close one.

While Pietro went to the fridge, Leandro sat opposite me. I moved my drink around the table to look like I was busy so he wouldn't talk to me.

"Dad said to tell you not to pull any shit," he said, looking straight at me.

"He said to tell you to have a great first day," Pietro informed me without turning around, making me smile.

Leandro parked his car in the parking lot, among other ones. I don't know why but something about the way he drove made me feel at ease. He drove fast but seemed so sure of what he did that I wasn't even worried.

Leandro got out of the car and opened my door. At first, I thought this would be an act of kindness, but when he leaned down, I could feel this was going to go the other way.

"Don't even think about sleeping around," he said, annoyed, slammed the door close, and left.

Pietro, who was talking on the phone, didn't notice this short one-sided conversation and got out of the car next, and I did the same. On the outside of the school weren't many people, but Pietro almost greeted each one of them.

To prepare me for school I watched movies and from what I could tell he and I'm sure also Leandro were popular. I was almost sure that they sat in the middle of the cafeteria and were in some sports teams and were the ones sleeping around.

Not that it was any of my business.

We walked down the corridor until we arrived in front of the secretariat. When we walked through the door, a sound was heard, and the woman sitting at the front table looked up.

"Name?"

"Alessia," Pietro answered for me.

"Alessia Esposito," she said and printed some papers. "Here is your schedule, the code for your locker, the school rules, a list of our school clubs which one of them you have to join, and a map of the school," she said in one breath and held the papers out to me.

However, I was in a sort of shock and only heard the same two words over and over again. Alessia Esposito.

I could feel someone shaking my shoulder, and when I blinked, the receptionist was gone, and the papers were in Pietro's hands. I took them out of his hands but couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Do you need help finding the classroom?"

"No, I'll manage."

Pietro looked at the papers in my hand and then back at me and turned around. "Follow me."

"But you'll be late f-" I started but stopped and began following him when I saw that he wasn't waiting for me.

I looked at my schedule, and when I saw that my first lesson was history, I realized that I was fucked. I might have lied to Ricardo a bit about my academic abilities. I could do simple arithmetic; for the rest, I had a calculator, and I could read; a bit slow, but I could.

The thing I struggled with the most was writing. I had tried my best in the last few days but gave up when I found out that laptops and Ipads are allowed here.

Maybe it would have been wise to accept Ricardo's proposal to be home-schooled, but I wanted to prove to myself, as well as to him, that I was ready to be a part of this world.

We stopped in front of room 301, and I hesitated to enter the room, which Pietro noticed and put his hands on my shoulders.

"You'll rock this, okay?" he said, but I didn't know he was expecting an answer till he shook me. "Okay?"

"Okay," I answered and couldn't help but laugh.

He smiled at me, and I briefly thought about hugging him but wasn't sure if that was something he wanted.

"I'll see you at lunch, nameless," he said, ruffled my hair, and pushed me into the class.

The moment I entered the room, about twenty eyes turned to me. I stood there not knowing what to do, since, in the movies I've seen, the girl always got there earlier and just sat down on some empty seat.

"Class, this is our new student, Alessia," the teacher introduced me, and some of the students started whispering something to each other while others just stared at me.

"You can sit down there." He pointed to a place in the third row next to a girl, and I smiled at him before going to my seat.

I sat down, put all the sheets of paper on my table and took out the iPad I had been given.

"I'm Jasmine," I heard a voice and looked to my right at the girl sitting next to me. She had black hair, honey-brown eyes and dark skin. She was as tall as me, and at first sight, the first word I could think of to describe her was flawless.

"I'm Alessia," I introduced myself, knowing she had already heard my name. Somehow it was easy to talk to her. I expected her to ask questions like why I was just starting or anything that would make me nervous and seem weird, but she never crossed that one line and even invited me to have lunch with her and her friends.

I was grateful for that. And I was happy that for the first time in my life, I had a full name. I had an identity, and even though I didn't know for how long I would have one, right now at this moment, I did.

--

Q | what do you hate most about school?
A | everything.

xx Leyla