things have been different now for the last few months, I've been feeling numb I can't feel anything now that Jacquelynn's Left somehow I don't know why I sat there foolish thinking she was coming back.
My life hasn't been that bad but I'm still worried, I've been having a few things going on with my life, and I just want them to be over with I'll be turning 18 in four days and I will be going to a complete adult.
I've been alone for a while besides my Grandmother being their but other than that I haven't really been around anyone, I haven't talked to any of my friends accept my sis which I call Pinhead Larry.
I have a Boyfriend But he's been distant lately cause of work, I haven't been out of the house accept going to work on Saturdays, but that's the only reason why I'm out; I haven't been crying lately and I try to but nothing comes out, I've been animating but nothing comes out of my head.
something tells me I'm Ill but I've been getting help. But I don't think it is working, I don't know how but I still have pictures of Jacquelynn which is weird but whenever I look at them I feel nothing, I just ignore them. is that a good thing? I always ask myself.
Soon I'll be going back to school, But that ain't going to change anything. Yes I might see my friends again, but they don't really stick around that much; Why would I really call them my friends? that only one I might call my friend is Kaleeyha she is still my Flamestrike.
Somehow her and I are still as close as ever, maybe she is all I need; I keep on thinking about school but nothing excites me I'll still be in misery in depression, My grandmother thinks because I'm depressed is because it had to do something with her and where I'm living.
But that is not true it comes and goes, It's a illness that I can't control; I might as well stay in counseling but it has nothing to do with her or where I'm living it just comes and goes it's nothing anyone can control. Depression, is a mental disorder characterized by at least two weeks. of pervasive low mood.
low self-esteem, Loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities, low energy, and pain, It comes and goes All I can do is mostly sleep until 12 or 1 in the afternoon I've been trying to get up around 8 or 9 but my body always pulls back to the bed.
Just I have Depression episodes, And they Pass I can't talk to my grandmother about anything but she always has to think I'm blaming her. that's why I was always talking to my Counselor; Which mostly I try to listen but she's out of her mind.
Depression isn't a choice Depression can happen to anyone, and No one can stop it it's just it's in that dark place you like to stay where you can think of your own problems. But it just besides the point; it's not fun to sit and fall asleep until 12 to 1 in the afternoon.
Jacquelynn has really broken me, and I don't think I can ever be the same way again. after I tried helping her she does this to me, Yes I let it go but it still hurts from time to time; And I still have Depressing Episodes, But they play on and off.
Not like they use to be where they keep playing after season after season after season, all I did was stay by her side and love her and help her, But she does this to me. I don't deserve this. Jacquelynn If you are reading this Show yourself you coward! And Face what you have done to me. I Need to know why you have done this.
I think I have more Strength and More Bravery then you think you have!! You can contact me on Padlet or Instagram At Anytime! Just have to ask Katy for my Instagram. *Smirks* I think you know what to do....
