james and oliver phelps one shots

strong/ james

TW: self-harm

I was lying with my boyfriend James on my bed when he started tickling me. I tried to push him away and make him stop, but he wouldn't let go of me. Through giggles and laughs I tried to tickle him as well, meanwhile the sleeves of my baggy sweatshirt rolled up without me noticing. We continued fighting for a while, until James froze and stared at my hands, which were scarred from the recent cuts I had made into my skin. They were red and one of them had started bleeding. When I noticed that he had seen them I frantically pulled down my sleeves.

- Love, what is that on your wrists? – he asked with wide sad eyes.

- It's nothing, James.

- Are you hurting yourself? – he got off of me and sat next to me.

- Please, I don't wanna talk about it – I pleaded, beginning to tear up.

- You need to tell me, sweetheart! Why would you do this to yourself?

- Because I'm sad and I hate myself, I hate my body, James! Only like this I can deal with the pain.

- Oh, baby!

He hugged me tightly, almost crushing me. I could hear his shaky breath through my sobs, meaning he was really upset. I didn't want him to see me like this, he shouldn't have seen me like this. But it was too late now, he knew how weak I was.

- Why would a pretty girl like you hate herself?

- Just because – I sobbed, the pain from my bleeding cut was increasing.

- You know I love you, right? I love your body, I love your personality, everything. Don't you think that when you cut yourself you hurt me too?

- I don't want to hurt you, Jamie.

- Then don't do this to yourself, Y/n! I swear it broke my heart when I saw it. I want to scream so loud to get rid of that pain I feel for you.

- You shouldn't have seen this.

- I'm glad I saw it, because now I can try to help you, love. Let me clean you up! – he said when he saw the blood on my sweatshirt.

We went into the bathroom where he put me to sit on the bathroom counter and brought my wrist under the water. He saw the previous scars onto my thin skin, marking all the times I had hurt myself. I hissed at the stinging feeling of the water, but it wasn't for long before he pulled my hand away and grabbed some bandages from under the sink to wrap my cuts. I started crying again, because I felt so stupid. Why would he want to be with me after he saw what I did? James wiped away my tears and kissed me lovingly as he wrapped the bandage around my wrist.

- I'm sorry.

- What are you sorry for, love?

- That you had to see what I did.

- Look at me! These scars are warrior scars, you hear me? I need you to be strong for me and every time you look at them to think how much it would hurt me to see my love hurting herself, okay? You are my strong girl, I know that!

- Can you promise me to not do it anymore?

- I don't know... - I hiccupped.

- Then can you just please call me when you need me? I'll be there for you always. We need to get past this together. It won't happen if you don't trust me.

- I trust you, James. And I love you.

- I love you more, Y/n. Please stay strong! – he hugged me tightly after my wrist was bandaged and kissed me. Then he took my other hand and looked at the pink marks along my skin and planted a kiss to them as well.

- I would never let you go, Y/n. I want you to see yourself from my perspective, to see how perfect you are. You don't need to change a thing, love. Remember that for me.

- I'll try – I said and rubbed my eyes.

- That's my girl. I love you!

We spent the afternoon lying together as he was holding my non-bandaged wrist and swiped his thumb over the back of my hand. it felt really comforting to have someone who cares for you and loves you no matter what. I couldn't count the times he kissed my scars, making me pull away at first, but then I let him do it. I hadn't ever realized that I needed someone to kiss the part that I hated in me to make me love myself.