james and oliver phelps one shots

long way/ james

a/n: I know I write a lot of baby stuff, but these are my ideas for this book, so I hope I'm not annoying you with that. Please tell me whether you like these stories.

warning: slight sexual content (not smut); mentions of infertility

James and I had been on the journey to conceive for a while now. Knowing my mom had struggles getting pregnant with me I suspected I also needed a little extra help in conceiving, despite my hopes that it would happen overnight like most people used to get pregnant. I wasn't getting why some people who didn't even want a child were getting pregnant, but not me, who was desperately trying to give James a fruit of our love.

I was tired of going to the doctor's office and the numerous check-ups, the ultrasounds, the hormonal testing. I felt like I was a little science mouse. Not to mention all the hormones I was taking to become fertile were messing up with my moods and my feelings. I was sad I just couldn't get pregnant the normal way and I felt sorry that James had to go through this. "If everything with me was okay it would be so much better. Why are you still with me when I can't even get pregnant, James?" I used to ask him all the time, making him frown that I was feeling that way. "Love, I'd be with you even if you can't get pregnant, because I love you! I don't need anyone else, d'you hear me?". That was a routine every time we sat in the waiting room for our doctor as I was getting more and more disappointed with every appointment.

We had gotten to the injections already, which I was supposed to do myself, but there was no chance of me actually doing it myself. That's why James learned how to do them and he was so gentle with it. There were times we had to be out with friends or running errands when I needed them and he would go in the bathroom with me or stop the car on the highway just to do it in time. He was my Superman for that.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I didn't even want to have sex whenever we were supposed to, because it felt like some type of job that needed to be done. For me was one thing, but for James was even worse. He was nervous about how he was going to do, whether it would be enough and on top of that pleasing me. These last times I told him to full on skip that part, because I wasn't going to finish either way. All of the pressure of that just killed the whole mood in the bedroom.

- Are you feeling good? – he asked me all breathless.

My face was expressionless, I didn't even want to do this, but that was the day I was most fertile, so it had to be done.

- Can you just please yourself and when you're close just... you know?

I was so embarrassed of what I had just told him. I loved him, I really did, but those hormones made me feel like shit, I didn't want to fuck and I definitely couldn't do it for another twenty minutes. I just needed this to be done with so I could go to sleep and probably wake up feeling even worse.

- James, I'm sorry... - I said when I realized what I had just asked him to do.

- No, it's okay, I get it. You must be tired of all this. We haven't made actual love in a while now, it's just like a job.

- If I wasn't infertile this wouldn't be a problem – I started crying and hid my face in my palms, cursing myself and my body for being like this, ruining everything.

- Love, love, hey! I don't want to hear you say that. This is just a little obstacle that we'll go through in no time! You'll see, you just need to trust me, okay?

I nodded slightly and hugged him, getting lost in his scent and feeling the warmth of his body on mine.

I was just wondering how long was it going to take, having in mind we were already trying for a year and a half. I was so ready to be a mother and James to be a father, so why did we have to go through this? I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, because we were determined to succeed and finally call ourselves parents.

Do you guys want a part 2?

Actually, let's talk about infertility. I used to think that it was a taboo topic and if someone was infertile that was shameful. No, it's not. My mom struggled to have me and I know a lot of women struggle with infertility as well and I want this to become a normal topic. What do you guys think? Tell me in the comment, please.