Love and the White Wolf - Book 1

6. Love Takes Root

       The intimacy of that night carried over into our daily lives for the next few weeks.  James was as good as his word.  He would hold me all night and on the occasions when I could tell he was becoming aroused he would silently leave the bed and take a cold shower.  He never once complained or seemed resentful.

       He still woke up before me to exercise.   My back already felt better so I started getting up to walk on the treadmill just to watch him work out.  He would then fix us breakfast after which I would start working on the computer.  To avoid bothering me while I worked he would go for his run along the river, pick up groceries then prepare us a nutritious lunch.  The guy had good culinary skills.  I learned he had taught himself to cook after watching various cooking shows on his downtime and I praised the results honestly.  After lunch James would read, often the Lord of the Rings as it truly was his favourite book. I lent him my copy of Dune once and he claimed to like it but never asked to read the sequels.  He did seem more receptive to The Dragonriders of Pern series.  After dinner we would watch tv or a movie.  Fortunately I liked old movies.  We watched a lot of Humphrey Bogart but I also introduced James to Princess Bride, The Sting, and Apollo 13.  Thumbs up for all three.

       One day while James was out I felt restless and started dancing to some classical music on my phone's playlist.  I had taken dancing lessons as a kid and although I was never good enough to go far in it I still enjoyed it up until my rape.  Since living with James the old desire to dance freely had been building.  With him out I took advantage of the opportunity to just move.  I was totally lost in my own experience when I became aware of James's smell.  Opening my eyes I saw him leaning against the door frame watching me. 

       "Don't stop," he smiled. "That was beautiful."

       I was embarrassed and uncomfortable.  Instantly he was in front of me and took my hand.

       "I mean it," he looked at me intensely. "You were incredible.  You were free.  It was beautiful, and sensuous, and sexy, and I loved watching you."

       A few days later I created a playlist of some 40's music and sprinkled in some modern equivalents.  The first time I played it he jumped up and started dancing with me.  He asked how to get the playlist on to his phone so I shared it then showed him how to find his own selections and add them in.  Dancing to these classics became part of our routine.  James was a very good dancer and I imagined he was a popular dance partner back in the day.

       My injured back hadn't bothered me in for over a week so I followed up with a doctor. Surprisingly new X-rays showed the broken tailbone had healed completely and he cleared me to begin normal activities. To celebrate James offered to help me train.  He even did some research at the library on different techniques that suited my preferences.  He would have made a great personal trainer except he still worked out shirtless which was a definite distraction.

       Our conversations during this period were varied and revealing.  One day I asked him if his physique now was the same as when he was the Winter Soldier. He was thoughtful for a moment and admitted it was quite different.  As an assassin he was usually used as a blunt instrument.  He had to acquire his target, complete his task by any means necessary, eliminate witnesses then report the outcome.  Brute strength was used often. Now that he was part of an anti-terrorism team intelligence, tactics, fitness, stamina and flexibility were more important.  He looked solemnly at me at that point in the conversation and said he remembered all of his victims and had tried to atone for every one of them.  He didn't know if it would ever be enough. 

       James often told me of the fun he and Steve had growing up in Brooklyn, then later when they were in the same unit during World War II.  I asked him about his love life once and he actually became flustered.  He admitted he was a bit of a ladies man but that he was always discreet.  Looking directly at me he declared that he had always hoped to find the right girl and settle down.  At that point the topic shifted to careers.  He surprised me when he said he always wanted to be an engineer and build bridges.  He grew up admiring the Brooklyn Bridge and wanted to build something just as iconic.

         These lively conversations all contributed to my growing admiration of this unique man.  I admired James's intellect, insight, and especially his wit.  He was open to just about everything.  We came upon a pride celebration once when we were out for a walk and he danced briefly with a feather clad male dancer.  Later he told me he had served alongside a number of gay men during the war but they were forced to live secret lives to avoid arrest on morals charges.  In his opinion if he could be pardoned for all that he had done they deserved the right to live their lives without interference. I found myself loving him more every day and we started flirting.

       I playfully asked him once if I could sketch him while he worked out.  He just as playfully asked if I wanted him clothed or unclothed.  I pretended to be offended but he just chuckled.

       Three weeks to the day after my attack I woke up to James packing his bag. 

       "I have to give you a rain check for my nude modelling session," he joked.  "We have a mission. When things go bad in the world my work gets busy.  They've actually done without me for a few days but I'm needed now.  It will be a week to ten days before I get back.  Someone is on their way to pick me up now."

       I said nothing but leaned in close to him and encircled him with my arms. He stroked my hair then cupped my face with his hands. He kissed me firmly on the mouth for several seconds. I wanted to melt.  He picked up his bag, walked to the door, gazed at me again and left without a word. A black SUV pulled up outside as I watched from the window.  James put his bag in the back, looked up at me once more and then he was gone.