mental illness » peterick

1.1

After all of that shit, I decided to go talk to Josh.

"Hi." I said quietly as I slipped into his room.

"Hey," he smiled. "You alright?"

"Not really."

"Patrick, it's not your fault. I mean if a bully had tortured me for so long and driven me to commit suicide, I wouldn't have forgive him either. So I can see where you're coming from. You can't keep blaming things on yourself. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"When I was in high school, I was very similar to you. I got made fun of a lot. And unfortunately I took out all of that anger and sadness on myself. One day I snapped. It felt so good to yell at my bully and for the first time I actually felt strong. Eventually he stopped bothering me and we became friends. I'm really hoping that can happen for you and Pete."

I nodded.

"Guess you should be going to bed now." Josh said. "Do you want to switch rooms?"

"Nah, I think I'll be okay."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Goodnight Patrick." Josh smiled and pulled me in for a hug.

-

"I'm really sorry for yelling at you and im also really sorry for what Gerard did to you." I blurted out, not making eye contact with Pete.

"I totally fucking deserved it. I'm an asshole and I deserve all the shit im going to get."

I gave him a slight smile.

"So.. Are we.. friends?" I asked.

Fuck, why would i say that?

Would he even want to be friends with me?

God Patrick, you're so stu-

"Sure."

"Okay. Great. Uh. Goodnight."

"Night."

For the first time in a while, I slept really well.

I didn't hear any voices in my head.

I didn't feel sad?

I think I'm happy.

For the time being.