reverie (yamaguchi x female reader)

chapter thirty seven 𐐒𐐚 (TW: sùicìde)

It's been a year since i've left. Every single day I still think about all four of my friends that I had to leave behind. Ive been trying to move on but it's not possible. I spent so many nights crying about how I may never be able to see them again but once i'm 18, i'm going back. Mom won't be able to stop me.

We live in our own house now, it's small and in another small town. I haven't been able to make new friends because I don't talk anymore. I rarely speak to my mom and being stuck in the house with her all the time is difficult. I call Yamaguchi, Yachi, and Hinata everyday. I text Kageyama everyday but we don't call often. Everyone's doing okay but I still don't find myself getting better.

I go to therapy every week but I don't talk there often either. She tries to help me but Mom debunks everything my therapist tries to tell me.

I don't find a need for this anymore, it's been a year and life hasn't been any better. Ive finally made my decision.

Yamaguchi<3
me: thank you for everything you've ever done for me. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I really do mean that. I love you so much and you are the world to me. I'm sorry about leaving you and I'm sorry for leaving you now again. I just don't find myself getting better and I cant wait anymore. I'm sorry, I love you.

Yachi
me: hey yachi. I just want you to know that you are an amazing friend and one of the best people I know, you're nice, caring and you are always there for me. Sorry to be so cheesy but I'm not really sure what else to write. I'll forever miss you and I would do anything to hang out with you one last time but I know there's no way how. Thank you for everything and you deserve the world, I love you.

Hinata
me: I just want to start this off by saying that you were the main reason I was alive. You were there when I had no one and you let me meet the best people. I know that one day you'll go far and you have so much potential, don't ever give up and I know that's dumb for me to say but you can't. You mean so much to so many people and you make a smile grow on everyone's face, you're amazing and thank you for everything. Goodbye and I love you.

Kageyama
me: I know we drifted once middle school started but I just want to thank you for everything. You understood me when I was a kid and you helped me through so much. You were my best friend and I know we aren't really that close anymore but I still do truly love you because of everything you've done for me. So I just wanted to say thank you and that you deserve the world.

I power off my phone and walk outside once I hear my mom sleeping. I walk to the nearest bridge by my town and there are still plenty of cars driving past, the bright lights flashing on my face. The stars are bright and they make me think of Yamaguchi. My eyes begin to water and I blink the tears away. I walk towards the middle of the bridge and wait for most of the cars to clear so no one can stop me. The water is dark and the air is cold. I climb onto the railing and take one deep breath, "I'm sorry." I whisper to myself. And with that I let myself fall. It almost feels like i'm falling in slow motion. The wind is pushing on my body and I finally slam into the water and feel myself take my last breath.