Relationship Status - It's complicated

Chapter 11 - What does marriage mean to you

Anjali 

I didn't know what to say to him. His story was heartbreaking, he had truly loved her. The hint of sadness in his eyes was very evident as he spoke about his wife. In no time, he had lost not only his wife but his unborn child too - a perfect marriage and potential future perfect family. There was momentary silence before he continued. 

"If it had not been for Jai Jeeja and my sister, I would have sunk so low in life that I would have never made it out of the separation. I think , the realization that no matter what, Shikha and I weren't going to be happy together made it hard and easy at the same time. " 

Another silence followed and I finally gathered courage to speak looking at him,  "I am so sorry, Shiv. Looks like you and she had a wonderful time together." 

"We did Anjali, we really did. But, nothing can be done now." A slow smile appeared on his face and I think it relieved the tensed atmosphere around us.  

He had such a normal marriage with Shikha just that it ended due to irreconcilable differences. What do I tell him about my marriage? How do I tell him I was married to a not normal person? He was mentally sick and made me also mentally sick because he couldn't come out in the open to his own family and world. I could sense the tables turn around as now it would be my turn to speak "I don't know what to say ..It isn't easy. Thank you for your honest revelation. I am overwhelmed is an understatement. Shiv, I, um..my marriage" By now, I was stammering horribly, not to mention that my palms were all moist from sweat.  

He cut me off , "Listen, maine aap se pehle bhi kaha hai. Just because I told you everything right away, you don't need to. Aap bahot pareshan lag rahi hain. Please, relax. Chai thandi ho rahi hai." 

translation - You look very tensed. Please, relax. The tea is getting cold. 

Probably a good idea to sip some tea. I took a sip and saw him taking a sip too. No doubt, he had some table manners. A handkerchief in one of his hands, he paused wiping down the sweat tricking down his forehead. 

"Dekhiye, aapko jab bhi sahi lage, aap tab mujhse baat kar sakti hain. It isn't easy and honestly, I did recite a prepared speech for you. I really do understand this is overwhelming, Anjali!  Umm , I think you know who all are in my home. Currently, Dadi is staying with us although we would love if she stays with us permanently but she insists on going back to Punjab as that is where she has been all her life and that is also where my father sister, my Bua lives. Papa works with me in our little office. I think he should retire now but he won't listen to us saying he cannot sit alone at home. Then there is my younger brother, Harshit who also works with me. You have already met my elder sister Shivani and her daughter Riya. Jai Jeeja is Shivani's husband and my best friend." 

Translation - Listen, you can tell me whenever you feel its right.

Very easily, he had switched the topic taking over from me and had given me information about his support system. "You have a very nice support system, Shiv."

He smiled. "Yes, I do. I am very thankful about that as life gets in the way sometimes and then only your family and friends help you out." 

Of course, if it hadn't been for my support system, who knows , I would still be living with Manish. The thought itself sent shudders down my spine. "Yes, a support system is needed help help you get through during difficult times."

He nodded before taking another sip. I had to say something as it's not fair to him that he is making all efforts. 

"Umm. Shiv, Thank you so much for understanding that this is not easy for me. I am sure it's not easy for you also but I .. I really don't know how to share this. I didn't even think of re-marriage until Dadi put forward this. My marriage put me through depression and I did take therapy and anti-depressants at one point of time."